Elicamacho

That's definetly what I am going through right now. The yo-yoing isn't stopping but I just told her it hurts and I can not take this I miss you and care about you still but she has moved on. It's pointless and has been hurting me. But she just told me "what makes you think I moved on?"

Haven't been on for for a while but just started another thread, but I wanted to see how you've been doing, I know right now there's mass confusion on my side saying she's missing me and the dreams haven't stopped. But I just wanted to check up on how you have been!

So I should just avoid talking to her.. She's really gone?

She would always say I love you more than you can ever say or imagine to me. I was there for her, this is the worst hurt of my whole life.

You're right. She's just playing with my heart. It's so hard to move on. It was literally perfect, she told me I was the best she wanted to marry me, se saw me in the future as her husband. She told me so much. I don't know how to handle this I'm on the edge, and I just can't move.

These are what keeps confusing me..

My friends say I have to move on with myself, and that I need time to focus on myself. My family says that as well but they tell me if she is the one for you, she will come back. My mom especially would tell me we still love her but I hate the things she's doing to you. Rachel said in one text all the good things I was to her. How I was always there for her and she was the luckiest and happiest girl for 11 months. But she still gave me that hope of her promising that I deserve a much greater love that is immeasurable weather it be by someone else or her again. Which just puts me in the same hole. She didn't text me yesterday, and through all of this she has been the one texting me this whole time. It's so sad letting that person go but still having some hope. I haven't thrown away anything and I don't want to. She still has some pictures of us on her insta so I guess she doesn't want to let go. I just want her so bad but I'm so confused. Should I reach out to her? Or should I just be silent and wait? I don't want to force anything I just want to know. She does seem very confused. Saying she misses me and only two weeks later she tried to talk to me. This is so so hard. What should I do. I'm trying to be tough and move on but it's so hard to move when I have this hope and all the memories in my head. She seems so happy with everyone else but when she finally went back to her house she realized she misses me. I've given her so much and she would have to get a big box to put it all in. I just feel so weak. I don't know what to do.

If Yall could have the time to read this long story, but pretty much all necessary... it would really help So this is a continuing of my last post of confused boyfriend, now ex.. She has broken up with me 3 weeks ago with several very different reasons. at first the night she broke up with me, the night of her dads funeral, she said to me she cannot be in a relationship right now. she doesnt want to keep treating me the way she was (yes she wouldnt want me to touch her, and she acted very irritated of my presence of just being there for her.) i ask her if this has to do with ryan( a guy she had history with and has been hanging with him more) she said no, that she just cannot love, she doesnt feel anything and she just cant be in a relationship. but she kept telling me she loved me so much, she cared for me so much and she didnt want to stop hugging me, she then said this could be good for us, then i said i will wait rachel. but she then said no, i dont want you to wait on me, keep an open mind. but in my mind, i knew i couldnt she is and was the best thing that has ever come into my life. theres nothing that hurt more than the first two weeks. i had nightmares and still have them for 3 weeks. she also said i dont want you to stop texting me, or hanging out. it confused the heck out of me. how we were so perfect. and in an instant, over. she even gave me a promise ring, devoting her love to me no matter the trials.and ever since the resons have been changing, i asked how she feels towards ryan and she said her feelings for him never faded. i was furious. then 2 days later she texts me asking me why my dad wanted to talk to ryans dad, the pastor of my church, he never did by the way. and two days after that, she emailed me telling me ryan has nothing to do with the break up. bull crap. posts she would be tagged in showing her with him with their little group. now she has been spending the night at her freinds (liz) ever since the passing. then i text her why she emailed me which ultimately led me to ask her the true reason of the break up and she said she couldnt love me the way i needed to be loved. we didnt talk for another 4 days then she texted me again telling me theres a soccer ball id like at walmart, i ignored the text, then two days later she texts again telling me shes trying to maintain a friendship. i then said well ts not tht i didnt want to.. she started being all mad like i didnt want to be friends then she said i just dont want to loose the friendship she had. she said i was a big part of her life and she didnt want to loose that. i said okay i didnt want to either, so we were talking a bit, how life has been, how she has been, she is still struggling (been 3 weeks) then she asked for help with her car.. i try and reach out and i told her ill halp after work, this was the day after we talked and we agreed id check the car out after work at ten. then she said ive missed you. don't think i haven't because i have. i said i did too. this started giving me hope and the she said she was sorry for what she did to me. she told me she loved me so incredibly much but says i deserve more then she promised me this: that i am destined for greatness and that i deserve an immeasurable love weather it be by someone else OR BY HER AGAIN big hope there. i told her pretty much the same thing then she said God had truly created a wonderful guy and im glad he brought you in my life. ,y hopes were so high now, i felt like we could get back now, so im at work the next day and she comes by, but she come up to the register to tell me her brother helped and she didnt need my help. wow, went to the restroom and broke down. i was so hurt, my heart dropped and i was shaking so much when i saw her. it hurts even remembering. but she then texted me it was good to see you, you looked good Eli. THEN THAT BROUGHT MY HOPES UP AGAIN. i texted her the same then she texts back i do miss you. and i said i miss you too. and then she said do you really? and i said i do. i felt so heartbroken at this point. then she sent me a video, that we always laughed at together. im so much more broken then when i was. i was doing better but this just confuses the heck out of me!! please help anybody, i want to know what i should do.. i feel like there is something there.. all i want is her happy and even more, her back into my life.. she hasn't even given my stuff back! she is still holding onto it all!

I too am going through the same exact problem. Thinking that she will never come back but to someone else, but then I think she can because she just couldn't do a relationship in that moment. I was being selfish at times and I would question her feelings towards me during the relationship but then later I figured that was a terrible mistake. She broke up with me with the same reason, I was the one there for her, bringing her food, her favorite drinks, being there with her on those painful nights, trying to keep her mind off the loss. But she just didn't have the energy for me. I was so confused because she would act totally energetic and laugh with her friends including a guy ryan. This guy had some history with her and knows her longer, so this really stressed me out. But on the night of the funeral, she broke up with me going to a friends house and couldn't stop saying I love you so much, but I can't do a relationship right now. She also said I just can't be happy with anyone and can't stand seeing myself ignore you and hurting you anymore. I look back now and sure I could've said, no let's just take a break but ultimately, she just wanted it over. I still don't know what the reason was but I rather not know for sure only if she ever decides to re tie broken bridges. She too had said to me so much about our future. But throughout everything, life will go on. And if it is God's will then it will happen, but if not, then there's much better planned for you. It's much easier said than done but for me, family, and friends help me tremendously. Avoid isolation it will only bring thoughts and destroy you. The mornings are so tough for me, waking up 3 times at night dreaming of her and crying, but I'm time it will go away. You can only just keep around people that support you and be patient. Whatever happens, will happen for a reason. I hope you get better, we're all here for you and I will keep you in my prayers as I have and am going through the same exact thing except she lost her dad. I hope this helps you feel not alone. God bless

Been getting lots of support. If it's Gods will He will let it happen, If not He will take care of me!

Also, my mom and dad survived this and helped me out a lot. My mom lost her mom at 18 and her dad at 19 yet my parents stuck together. Because my dad was the only one there for her. Rachel on the other hand has almost the whole church with her because everyone knows her and loves her. It's not that big of a deal for her to be alone because she never really is.

Thank you so much for the advice. But she has ultimately asked to end the relationship. I kept thinking she was cheating on me with this guy and at the funeral he comes, I try to rub her back as comfort and she rejected it. She seemed annoyed of my presence when I was next to her, supporting her. But as her friends came to he after the service she all hugged them then the guy, Ryan came up and hugged her for just a little bit longer. She then went up to her friends, him acting disrespectful cracking jokes and she would smile and laugh with him. I on the other hand kept my cool, grabbed her purse and belongings with me and held her stuff. I guess they wanted to do something after and they were telling her about doing something. So me and Rachel and her friend go to the car, of course me holding her stuff still, opening her door, just being a good boyfriend. We then head to the reception at her grandparents. She would talk to her friend but not me. The whole way. And as soon as I spoke a word to her she sounded like she didn't even want to talk to me. But at the grandparents we kind of talked better and then she would put her legs on mine showing she was comfortable with me. So we leave and go to the house we were going to hang out at. But as I pull up she says you can drop me off here, and I replied with you don't want me to go? Ryan will be there and you don't want me to go? And she said let's park and talk. So her friend goes in with the friends and she tells me to park. I ask her her feelings, she has none. She kept saying i just want my dad. And I asked what about with you and Ryan have y'all been talking? What's even going on? And she said nothing has been going on. I just can't deal with anything but my grief. She is broken. Then I said are you even happy with me? I told her how I've been feeling under her, and she said I just can't be happy with anybody. She then said I think we should stop this. She said she hates the way she treats me and it hurts her to see herself treat me the way she does after she does it. She said I make her the happiest she's ever been. And all this good boyfriend stuff almost like I was breaking up with her and she was giving me a reason why I shouldn't. But then she says I love you so much but I just can't be in a relationship right now. I cried, told her I was just trying to be there for her and she said I just need time to process this and carry on with my grief. It was the night of the funeral as well. The worst night of my life. I told her stay here I'll get your door. She comes out sobbing saying I love you so much but I need time. I said okay. I understand. It feels kind of vague to me. We cried and cried saying I still love you. Then she says don't stop texting me, I still want to see you, I still want to hang out with you. But then she said if it hurts to much then you can stop. I'll understand. I gave her one last kiss, I made her laugh and she said I'm so sorry for the way I've treated you, this can be good for us. And I said I hope to see you soon. We cried then hugged again and said goodbye. I was so so destroyed my life left me with myself. She also told me text me when I get home. Then I said okay. I texted her and we just kept talking about how Amharas it will be. Then the next day I asked if I could text her throughout the day, and she said whatever is easiest, my phone died after I said I don't know what to think anymore and she replied Eli we broke up... This is so so painful and if I could just understand all this and get this pain away that would be great. But I feel so depressed. So destroyed, haven't eaten, everything just reminds me of her. She was my one and only best friend.

Me and Rachel were a great couple we loved each other so much but a couple of weeks before the death of her father her nice started reevaluating our relationship and then the day came where her father passed away ever since she's been so distant from me she doesn't want to love anybody she doesn't want to love me she just doesn't want me to talk to her I'm so confused I can talk but I just don't want to.. But yeah while she's grieving there's a guy that I feel she's cheating on me I freak out and I get selfish and away that I just want to know what she feels in our relationship I feel like I pushed you away too much and all I can do is just what her I don't want to lose her and I love her so much and I can't lose this relationship she's done so much and she means so much for me I can use any help in anyway I can any advice thank you.

I'm going thought the exact same thing, I don't know why it is happening. And it hurts so much. It's a different kind of grieving and especially worse to us. And I just really really want to know, how is the relationship now between you both?