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Tkat

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Everything posted by Tkat

  1. Thank you all for your condolences. Today has been a better day, it's very much one hour at a time.
  2. Hi there, I found this site last night and read for hours. My mom died 10 weeks ago in hospital. She hadn't been well for about 6 weeks prior and had been diagnosed with end stage liver disease. She was a functioning alchoholic for as long as I can remember. I'm an only child and knew she loved me very much, still our relationship was not an easy one as I had a lot of anger due to her alcohol abuse. The last 6 weeks , I was with her the majority of the time both at her home and when she was in hospital . Her doctors couldn't tell us how much time she had but once it became obvious she couldn't go home again , I believe she lost the will to live. Mom was only 75. I was with her and holding her hand when she passed and earlier in the day before they started to administer the morphine I told her thank you and I that I loved her and I sat there all day with her crying my eyes out cause I knew in my heart what was coming. Around 6:30 pm , my husband and son came to visit and they had just left to go get food. There was mom, myself and her life long friend in the room and then she was gone. My dad passed away suddenly 16 years ago when I was 24 and I grieved but don't remember this intense feeling of being alone even when I'm with family. I went back to work 2 weeks after her death and thought I was doing ok but out of nowhere I'm hit with these crying spells and waves of grief that hit me at 100 miles an hour. I think I'm just now processing the fact that she's really gone forever, the person who knew me from day one on this earth, loved me unconditionally and I could always turn to. My husband has been wonderful, I've been crying on his shoulder as well as alone and I'm amazed there are any tears left. I just feel so very sad, not all the time but definitely periods of everyday and night time is usually the worst . I know life goes on and I always knew alcohol would kill her eventually but it hurts to the very core of my soul right now . Thank you for listening, I'm so very glad I found this site.
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