R.Everit55

Thank you

Kay.   I’m so very sorry for what has happened and what is happening.  You’ve done your job supporting everyone else.  Now you need support and care.  And you have all of mine Allen and Katie’s prayers even Caleb’s.  I just asked him to pray for my dear friend.  He did.  I pray Donna won’t suffer and receives the care she desires.  

I relate to everything in the family’s lives being before and after a tragedy.  

Gentle hugs and many prayers dear friend.  

Love,

Butch.  

I’ve gone through a very tough time as of recently.  I’m home and having a tough time as we speak.  I want to bare my soul yet there are absolutely no words.  😢💔

I love you son.  I know you miss your babies.  😢💔

Hi all.  I’m home.  I’m not sure where to start but one breath at a time I guess and therapy.  

Thank you all for welcoming my son.  

Butch ❤️

Marty thank you.  I cried reading this as it speaks so much of what my Dad is enduring and the guilt he is experiencing and pushing me away and not being able to articulate anything.  I will keep tell him he WILL survive this.  And I am never leaving.  

Allen. 

Thank you.  I hope he pulls through this soon too.  

My Dad is coping with immense anger and he’s turning it inwardly towards himself.  It’s not his fault... any of it.  I can’t get that across to him.  He isn’t hearing me.  I want to yell at him.  And make him hear.  😔

Thank you all.  My father is communicating a bit.  He’s angry and doesn’t want to live passed the 9th.  The third anniversary of letting my mom go.  ALS took her but he’s angry at himself.  He’s still not eating.  He wants to see Caleb and Ryan but no kids allowed in psych unit.  Caleb understands his Grampy is where he needs to be to be safe.  Our family is broken.  

Allen

Thank you all.  My Dad has had no change.  He’s critical emotionally and psychologically.  January 9 is three years since the passing of my Mother.  I know it’s weighing on his heart.  

Allen

Thank you all for caring for my father.  There is no change.  I did tell him of all your care and concern. 

Allen

Hi.  This is Butch’s son Allen.  I wanted to let you know he is in the hospital getting help as he is suicidal.  He’s safe.  He’s not eating drinking or talking.  They have him on IV fluids for hydration and nutrients.  The loss of my mom and Noah and Gracie have overwhelmed him too much.  The third anniversary of my mother’s death is coming on the 9th.  Thank you for always being there for him.  God bless.  

Allen

My precious grandchildren Lily Lila Noah and Gracie.  There is no way to express how tightly you have held my heart.  Your losses have so deeply hurt my soul.  I know you’re being held by Grammy Mary.  That’s my only solace.  If you can know how deeply heartbroken your Grampy is I beg you to come to me somehow and give me a sign that you’re free from suffering.  I need that so much.  You own my heart in a way that no one else could.  Plz love on each other and love your Grammy Mary.  ❤️

Grampy Butch

1 hour ago, Widowedbysuicide said:

My dreaded date is Jan 6.  ❤️

You are in my prayers.  My dreaded date is Jan 9.  Hugs. ❤️

It’s been three months and a week since our sweet baby Gracie passed.  I’m missing her so deeply.  She was the heart of our family in her very short life.  💔😢

I’m forced into the Christmas spirit because I don’t want to let my son DIL and grandsons down but after losing Noah and Gracie on top of not having Mary here it’s so unspeakably hard.  

My son is in charge of my wishes.  I too do not want heroic measures taken is there is no hope and I’m on machines.  I don’t want to be on those.  I made the decision when it came to My Mary.  It was the hardest thing to do.  But she didn’t want to exist like that anymore.  😔

11 hours ago, kayc said:

 

Butch, one thing at a time, first get through today.

Kay, even getting through one day at a time is such a real struggle.  I’m trying.  

I just got out of the hospital for a heart attack and being suicidal.  I made it home though.  But I don’t want to face the holidays then Jan 9th is three years since losing my Mary.  I just don’t know how to face it all.  My heart hurts.  My Noah and Gracie should be here.  My heart aches so badly.  😢💔

2 hours ago, Widowedbysuicide said:

Butch you are such a kind man.  The times you have inspired me and given me peace are uncountable.  You are always in my thoughts.

Thank you.  I’m just an ordinary man though.  ❤️

I had to make the decision on when to take my Mary off life support Jan 9 2015.  I now live with the suffering.  But I know she is at peace and holding our babies and grandchildren in her eternal arms. 

Butch. 

I’m sorry Darrel ❤️

Lainey

im sorry for your loss.  I’m sorry the second year feels worse than the first.  I understand.  Jan 9 will be three years since I lost my beautiful bride.  And it feels worse.  You’re only on your second year.  Go easy on yourself for things can feel numb and unreal at times.  I still feel that way.  Keep posting.  You are cared for   ❤️

Butch

If only I could remove my heart.  But then if I did that I’d miss out on loving my son and grandsons.  💔

Thank you Marty.  That’s a beautiful poem.