Hi Everyone
I just wanted to introduce myself and tell my story and why I've joined the group. First of all, thanks Marty for accepting my registration and for the article you emailed me about grief and the lungs.
My dad's 83, he has little bits wrong with him but overall he is in good health for his age. The main issues is that he has slight COPD, diabetes which is very mild and he has chronic pancreatitis. Every year, if not every 6 months he gets a ERCP scan done. It has always been clear.
Two weeks ago he came down with an infection was quite confused and his GP suggested he go to hospital. They confirmed is was an infection and they decided to put a temp stent in. Years ago when first diagnosed with pancreatitis, he had a temp stent put in but only for a year or two. What we didnt know is that when they put the stent in, they took a biopsy of the pancreas and brushings from the bile duct. He was due to see the consultant in a few weeks as he had the scan done in June. What we didnt know was that they had found a 2cm lesion.
A week ago on Friday, the doctor called for a meeting. I knew this was bad and had a bad feeling that it was going to be really bad news. He advised they had got the results back the day before and the 2 inch lesion was now 3.9 and that it was malignant adenocarcinoma. Because of his age and his lung problem operating was out of the question, our hopes were dashed on the Monday when the Oncology Team advised my dad that chemo does not react to pancreatic cancer.
I had a really difficult and nightmarish week last week. I was finding it very hard to cope.I actually broke down in work during the week, my manger just grabbed me out to the toilets. I'm 40 but due to circumstances I live with my parents, I'm always around my dad and mam. I'm trying to be strong in front of them. Just thinking of my dad dying or not being here is enough to set off. I have to suck it up as it were but once I go to bed or if my parents arent around, I completely break down.
I was even feeling it physically as well. I have asthma so for most of the week my lungs felt tight, I've felt this sharp pain to my back where my lung would be, I've had all sorts of aches all over that I couldnt figure out and thought it was medication that my own doctor had started me on last week, I stopped it and I was still feeling various aches in various areas.
Things have improved and my lungs are nearly back to feeling normal. All the aches have gone as well.
I've lost interest in alot of things. I didnt even want to go to work one of the days. I cancelled going to a friend's birthday dinner. One of two people in work were laughing at something and I was so tempted to turn around to tell them it wasnt funny.
I was all over the place last week, nearly as if a fog was surrounding me. My sister went over to collect a prescription for dad from the GP. GP said he actually couldnt believe it as dad is healthy that he rang the doctor on the discharge report to make sure they hadnt mixed him up with another patient. He was convinced they had. He did say that my dad's age is an advantage that from experience the the tumour grows much slower with people in my dad's age group and even said he's even seen it in cases where it just stopped.
Its only a small window of hope but even if dad got a few extra years, it would make a difference. Dad is in great form and you wouldnt think anything was wrong with him. Today is the first day my eyes havent welled up and I feel a bit normal again.