judy ramella

I am wondering if it's normal to have a great stretch of time, like a few weeks or a month, and then you wake up one morning and you feel the pain all over again? It always seems to lift as the day goes on, but it can take me a few days to get to the point where the tears stop. Also, what do you do on the "hard" days when you don't want to eat, and all you can do it cry, and you have an dinner party to host, or are volunteering for your child's class party, or have a dinner date? Do you force yourself to do these thing, which I have been doing since Jan of this year. It started with very, very painful days, and then I would have a good day, and then the stretch began to get bigger and longer, and I really thought i was moving into acceptance, but then this week happened. Judy

I am a Christian, and there is a lot the bible says about it....it's a place where for those who love God will live with him, and the the lion will lay with the lamb there will be a crystal sea every tear will wiped away streets of gold

Thank you so much for your kindness! My girls are very resilient. They do miss it because my sister lived right behind us with her two little girls that we planned on living next to each other for ever. There are so many things I have learned about grief that no one every tells you. First, you do mourn many other things that in the worlds eyes doesn't qualify as a loss, like a death does or divorce. I really wish people would realize it. Secondly, I found that the grief comes and goes. I can be great from a month, and then like a few days ago wham! Now, I feel like I am recovering. Also, when your grieving, you don't really exactly know why your crying. Something just triggers it, because in my mind, it's over, and I just want to move on and get back to my happy self. No one ever tells you that it works that way. We have moved back home to where we have lived for all of our life. Back to the familiar and back to our old friends and church. It is so much better than where we lived before and we have had more friends here and entertained in this little house than we did for 6 years in a big one! We have so many friends and family that love on the girls. It really has been everything we hoped it would be. So when I started feeling pain, I couldn't figure out why. I thought I was over it because I grieved as we were getting ready to move. I realize in my mind I was trying to convince myself I wouldn't miss my family, or the loss, but as my counselor said the mind and the heart don't work together all the time.!

I am not sure what group I belong in. My loss was of a HUGE financial reversal! We lost a business, our home, our life savings, moved to a house a fraction of what we had, were forced to downsize and we moved away from my family. I have gone to a physciatrict who told me I was suffering from grief. I am currently seeing a counselor but thought I would join this too! Oh, and we are 51 with two little girls starting over again!!