Hello. This is my first time posting on this forum, I hope some of you can help me.
My girlfriend and I have been together for seven years and we were due to get married in 1 years time. We met after i finished university and she was just starting so we're both still in our 20s. Weve been engaged for some time now and we are in the midst of planning our wedding. We have a lovely home and pets we adore together. She is the most wonderful person I have ever met, beautiful, caring and so clever. We're not a couple who fight and I try to always put her first; although, we're plenty good at compromise.
Last night she told me that she needs time to herself because she has never fully grieved for her mother who passed away when she was a teenager. She has very rarely spoken of her mother to me or anyone else, she has tried so hard to be strong and focus on her studies and her career. I want her to speak to someone but she doesn't like counsellors or psychologists. I fear that although we're apart she still won't be able to grieve because of her work (she works 8.30 to 8 during the week). I understand she needs to grieve and the wedding is too much, but surely we could have gotten through this together rather than her being alone....
This came as a total surprise because we almost never argue, do plenty of things together and on our own. I had NO idea this was coming. Just 4 days ago we were talking freely about house renovations and wedding plans. She said, and I believe her completely, that there is nobody else and she hasn't cheated. She was saying that she wants her own place because she's always been doing what she thinks other people want. She was talking about selling our house in a couple of months. She said that she wants me to move on because she might not be ready in months or several years! She said that it wasn't me that's wrong its just her, saying that there was nothing more she could have wanted in a boyfriend. She said that we were more friends of late but i'm not sure if shes being genuine or intentionally pushing me away. She wants us to remain friends because she can't imagine not spending time together. I just don't understanD.
So I feel as if the very ground has been taken from under my feet and i'm tumbling. I don't know what to do. I'm hopelessly and irrevocably in love with her, she is my soulmate and I can't bear to lose her. I get that I need to give her space and not text/call her, but what else can I do to a) grieve for her mother and help her realise we can work on this together.
I know you all must be really busy so any advice/comforting words would be hugely appreciated.
