Trudy1964

Annie, Please know that my throughts and prayers are with you. He and your Mom are painfree now. They are living so peacefully together in heaven. I hope these thoughts can help you to find some comfort in the days ahead. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Annie, I hope you and your brother can feel the group hug we are sending you right now. I agree, your SIL's timing stinks. It was this past Friday that I made the decision to give my Mom 1 pint of blood so she come home to pass with us by her side. I remember how heavy that day was. God will get your family through this. He got us through.... Missing my Mom, Trudy

CFH, Let me first say how sorry I am for your loss. In some way or another, we've all experienced some kind of loss here. What your going through is perfectly normal. Right after my Mom died, I couldn't picture her in my mind yet I could picture my grandmother who passed 30 years ago. My counselor told me it's our brains way of kinda going to a safe zone. Let it absorb things a little at a time. Denial, confusion, exhaustion is all part of the journey. Sometimes I knew my Mom was gone. Others, I felt like she was on a vacation. Give yourself time. You have a long road ahead of you. You've come to the right place. We are a family here. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Annie, I so glad you got the answer you were looking for. Right now I am so honored to know you through cyberspace. I know the road ahead will still be a rough one. God helped you with this one - He will continue to help the rest. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Dear Sad, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I lost my Mom not a husband or wife. I'm sure there are differences but I can tell you it has been hell. I have friends who tell me after 10-15 years, there is still such a big whole in their hearts. Loosing someone you love is a life changing event. I don't think I'll ever be the same person I was a year ago. I live 1.5 hours southwest of New Orleans. We were spared the ravages of Katrina. I don't think anyone who had to live through that could not get depressed. I have family living in Marero and Westwego who had damage. Watching them go through the heartache the first few days of not knowing was gut wrentching. They were staying with us while they awaited news. Loosing a house and all your personal belongings is like mourning another part of your life. As far as the medicine, I didn't want to take it at first. But the black tunnel I was traveling in got deeper and deeper. I got to a point where the hardest part of my day was getting out of bed. I almost took a leave from work because I just didn't not want to get out of bed anymore. Also, this site helped me to understand that I wasn't crazy. It let me know that everyone grieves on their own time schedule. There's no right or wrong about sadness. No one should tell you "You should be over it by now", unless they have walked in your shoes. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Shell, As you well know, one day at a time. My Mom has been gone 1 year July 16. I still haven't closed her checking account. I feel like that's another part of her world coming to an end. When I can handle it, I will. Sending you prayers and peace... Missing my Mom, Trudy

Starkiss, Post, post, and post some more. Even though some of us don't reply very often, we read every day. What you guys write is just what we need to help us make it through the day sometimes. Thanks for your thoughts. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Dolores, We are all here for you. We are all on the same journey for different reasons. Don't be too hard on your self. I have learned grieving is a long slow process. It takes a lot of time and energy. You will have many many ups and downs to face. Your new family here is ready to help you through. I don't think your being selfish for wanting more. Your just being a Mom who wanted to watch her son grow up. My Mom was 75 when she left us. After she passed, I would read the obituarys and get angry when people would live to be 85 because I wanted more time with her. We just don't every want to let go. Sean and God will give you the strength to get through this. God Bless. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Delores, My heart goes out to you. I am so very so for your loss. I can not begin to comprehend what it must be like to loose a child. Just remember, he's always with you. He sounds like such a nice guy. I wish I had known him. Peace and prayers to you. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Lorikelly, I said a prayer for you today. Missing my Mom (also), Trudy

Annie, I agree with Derek. You and your brother know your Dad better than anyone else. Trust in your heart and you'll know what to do. I was in the very same place you are right now. Only the first time my Mom looked me in the eye and said "If I have to live this way, I'd rather be dead." I knew she meant it. It was the way she said it that I knew she meant it with every fiber in her being. That day helped me to make every decision I made after that. We are 6 children but it seemed I was the only one who could make a decision. I signed the do-not-rescisitate papers. I decided we would get Hospice and signed all the papers. I had to decide to give her enough blood to get her home. You see, I knew she didn't want to die in the hospital. She wanted to pass in the home she was so proud of with all her children around her. She was given 1 pint of blood just enough so that my brother in Kentucky could make it back to Louisiana. That was Friday. She left us Sunday. I have no regrets for any decisions that I made. I regret more not taking the time to spend more quality time with her when she was here and healthy. That's what makes me cry now. I think if you reread your post you'll find your answer. I'll say an extra prayer that God helps you and your brother find peace with answer. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Traci, First, let me say how sorry I am for your loss. Next, thank God for people like you who do what you do. When my Mom was sick, the hospice group was our life line. I can't say enough about how they helped us. We were on auto pilot. They just told us how to function. You guys are really angels on Earth. As far as going back to work, I agree with you on taking it slow. Remember to take care of yourself. Don't go on overload. Do only want you feel like you can handle. Grieving takes so much of your strength. Remember we're here for you. God Bless you. Missing my mom Trudy

Tracey, I almost asked for a leave from work because the hardest part of my work day was getting out of bed. Maybe you should consider seeing a Dr. I, like most people here, had to get on antidepressants for a while. I'm still on them now. When your grief is so strong, you can't think straight. Many of us also saught help from counseling. It was a great help to me. He just let me talk and talk and talk. He had a way of making me want to talk to him. I promise the pain will not always be like it is right now. It gets different. I'm sending you a hug and a special prayer. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Tracey, Like I said before in another post -- do what you can handle; handle only what you can do. I agree, ask for help. Give yourself time. I learned so much from this site. I thought after a few weeks I should be fuctioning normal again. That is when reality sets in. Thanks to the great people at this place who kept telling me "time, it just takes time". Don't be too hard on yourself. I made a booboo like Annie. I ordered 4 boxes of checks for my husband and I just like I've been doing for the past 21 years. Only I forgot to put his hame on them. Thank God he loves me. That was at 6 months. Just take baby steps. Together we'll get through. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Teny, The time frame is different for everyone. My Mom passed July 21, 2007. It's gotten better in a lot of ways. It's a different kind of pain now. Take one moment at a time. Cry when you need to cry. Come here to vent. We've all been through the same thing. Counceling is very good. He'll help you to understand that everything your going through is normal. We're all here for you too. I'm sending a special prayer your way. Missing my Mom, Trudy

LoriS, LoriK, Shell, Annie, I wish I could give all of you guys a big hug right now. Looks like we all need one. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Annie, It's so nice when we know that other people have not forgotten our Moms. Since the time that Mom has passed, people would always say "So, how are you doing" It always made me feel good. Not because they wanted to know how I was doing but because they remembered her. They remembered she was alive. She was my Mom and that she had been special in this world. As for as going to your parents home with the realtor, I'm glad you knew your limits. Someone posted on here a while back, "I can only handle what I can do. And Do only what I can handle." Thank you to whoever wrote that because I live by that now. Now it doesn't bother me to just say no. I don't have to explain. If you've been there like you, me, Lori and everyone else at this site, you understand. For Mothers Day, I did not want people to wish my a "HAPPY" Mother's Day. I couldn't be in church with so many people and their mothers. I wasn't happy so I stayed home. My family was wonderful. They understood. Annie, I am so sorry about your Dad getting worse. That has got to be really hard to deal with on top of everything else. If you ever need an ear, email me. I'll send you my cell number and we can talk. God Bless you. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Annie, Six months was a very hard time for me also. I thought immediatly after my Mom passed would be the hardest. In some ways it was-- I was still so numb-- in other ways-- no. At first my head new she was gone. At four, six, nine, my heart aches so much because I miss her so much. Waves of grief comes at different stages. You have to just go with to get through it. In some ways it gets easier. But the pain just gets different. So close to a year for my Mom and sometimes I still ask myself if it's real. I'm sorry you were so sad but you made me laugh when I am also having a hard time right now. Thanks. June 21, 2006 is when we found out Mom had cancer. I spent the night at the hospital that night with her. Just trying to be upbeat and get through the night with her and hold myself together. I can tell you where I was June 1, 2006 - July 16, 2006. Everyday. Dr. appt. for her, etc., I just keep reliving everything. I'm sure this is normal. So anyway, your ups and down are normal, Annie. Thanks, again, for making me laugh. Besides, who wants to go eat out and not eat with their husband anyway. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Lori, My step-daughter is getting married in Nov. My Mom was always so proud of the relationship I have with my 2 step-children. When she found out Erin had met a guy, she said "I want to be at that wedding." It tore my heart out because I knew she wouldn't be here. She was gone 2 weeks later. I have jewelry from her. I have a picture that I keep in my purse. But my Mom won't be there. I'm so happy for my step-daughter. She is marrying the greatest guy in the world. I'll never forget I met him 1 week before we found out she had cancer. My brother got married in Dec. only 6 months after she was gone. But my brothers and sister and I were all together. I think we were all in the same place in our grief. This wedding will be different. I feel like I'm the only one who will be sad there. Noone else there will be thinking about her. Thanks for listening. Lori, I'll say an extra prayer for you. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Shell, I am so sorry to hear about your Mother. My prayers are with you and your family. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Lavender, My Mom also passed away only 3.5 weeks after learning she had lung cancer. She left us July 21, 2006. She complained of her 1st symptom on June 1st, 2006. Everything you are feeling is normal if there is such a thing anymore. The numbness, confusion, exhaustion.... Friends often say one day at a time. Most days I felt like that was just too much. One minute at a time was more like what I could handle. If you feel like crying, cry, cry, cry. Don't be too hard on yourself. You have a very hard road to travel. We all know. We are all still on various parts of a very bumpy roller coaster ride. This journey is one none of us wanted to take but circumstances have thrown us all together. We are all here for you because we know what your going through. You've found a very good place to come too. The first 6 months after my Mom died were pure HELL. Without this site and God, I don't think I would have made it. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Bursie is a cajun name given to her by my cajun Grandmother. Her name, Bursie Simoneaux Hebert, is pronounced Bursie Simono Abear. We are all cajuns down here with names that are not pronounced the way they look. She is smiling right now because you guys love her name. She hated it. In school, she got teased a lot. Her friends used to call her Bursie Simoneaux-mo. Today is her birthday. She would have been 76. Her first since she's gone. I went to visit my 57 year-old cousin, her nephew, yesterday. He is dying of cancer. We are waiting to get the dreaded phone call any moment now. I know I'll never see him alive again. He lives 2 hours away. My Mom and his Dad (her brother) will be happy to see him. Needless to say, it was a rough weekend. Thanks for listening. Happy Birthday Mom! Missing my Mom, Trudy

I will be there also. My Mom passed July 16, 2006. Her name is Bursie Simoneaux Hebert. I love this idea. Missing my Mom, Trudy P.S. I'm saying an extra prayer for you Lori.

Lori and Shelley, You are both in my prayers. Missing my Mom, Trudy

That is a beautiful story, Annie. It made me smile when many things do not lately. Thanks for the pink diamond. God Bless, Missing my Mom, Trudy