Hello! I hope this finds you well. I am writing mostly to look for specific advice--
The situation is: I have been dating J for roughly 3.5 years, and while we have our ups and downs, we are overall a pretty good couple. Recently, he moved overseas with me. I am currently 25, and he is 27. Two months ago (Sept), his younger brother killed himself, and since then we've been faced with quite a lot of issues.
We are back overseas. The first month was really rough, where his emotions were up and down, and he exhibited all the signs of extreme grief. Over time, he became more emotionally stable. He is talkingto a therapist online--but I think he may need to see someone here, or go back to the US.
I think he's depressed...last night we got into another argument, and he lashed out at me. (He has been getting angry easily, and taking it out on me, in ways he hasn't before. He always admits it after when I point out, and apologizes.) And then when I was angry, he started saying how his life is worthless, and I'm better than him, and he should just kill himself. I think his issues stem from several things. 1. Obviously, the biggest cause is his younger brothers suicide recently 2. His sense of worth: currently he is an intern at my firm in Asia, and he thinks he should be doing something else, making more money, being a big shot, and he's not. His ego is definitely hit hard right now.
Signs of depression that he has exhibited:
1. Irritability, anger
2. Difficulty concentrating
3. Negative thoughts-paranoid thoughts
4. He has lost weight, but I had assumed it is due to the food here. (I have lost weight also.)
5. Obviously suicidal talk (but last night was the first time)
Please share your experiences, but also actionable steps I can take, or he can take.
A few key questions:
1. What can I do right now?
2. What can he do right now to make it better?
3. Should he go back to the US (and back to his parents house, etc) or stay out here?
4. How do we find counseling in a foreign country in Asia?
5. Can you provide an analysis on what is going on? Will his depression last? What can I expect from his behavior over time?
Thank you!
