I don't know how I will do it - I will have to say goodbye to my beloved Bailey around 7 this evening. She was a my first baby and saw all three of my children come home - the latest in August over her 16 yrs 7 months with us - 15 of those I struggled with infertility. She has liver disease (most likely a diffused cancer) and stopped eating last week - but I have been hand feeding and giving her water since then - willing her to fight once more - but she is laying in her bed - and doesn't have the fight anymore - so I must help her -and I don't think I can be that strong for her - the what ifs - the guilt, the mommy protector can't fix this - Her last year has been hard - 2 bloat episodes, Vestibular attack, tooth infection - in my head - yes, I know its right for her (not for me) and yet my heart is broken....
How do I say goodbye to my beloved friend that I have spent the last months - making homemade food for her, giving her supplements and medications to help - and now its time....
I don't, I can't -
