cincycats00

Thank you Derek. I had a better day today because I was keeping myself busy. I posted a Moving Tribute to Rory on www.legacy.com. That really helps me cope because I can see his face every day. It is hard though at the same time because I know I'll never be able to hold him again. I feel so guilty about all of this because the last time I spoke to him, he hung up on me as he got angry about something or other. I know he knew how much I truly loved him though. I had gone back home (Cincinnati) this past July and got to have dinner with him as well as beginning to make plans for him to visit and possibly live here in Florida with me. He had so much to look forward to in this life and for some stranger to end everything so senselessly is extremely difficult to handle. I just wish I was there with him so I could let him know how much he is loved. Both of our families are Catholic and extremely close-knit. I really feel that my family will help me get through this although it is going to take a long, long time. At his funeral, the priest said, "This is not for us to understand." I keep thinking about that and I keep trying to tell myself that only the Lord knows why this happened. But I wish I could make some sense of it all. I really feel that Rory was placed on this Earth to set a living example of how we should be living our lives. I went to church today and the priest said, "In the life after this life, our lives are forever." And I believe that is true. I really feel that Rory is watching over me every day. However, I want to be with him so badly. He was my true love and we were looking so forward to building a future together. I felt his presence last night when I turned on the television and immediately say Elmo. Whenever we would say "Elmo" to one another, we knew that meant "I love you." I have seen Elmo twice now since his funeral. Every time I see Elmo, I know Rory is with me. I know he is with me all the time actually. I only knew him for, a year but we had so many wonderful times together in that one year. The memories will sustain me until I can see him again in Heaven. Thank you so much. I know that getting my feelings out will definitely help me get through this. This is so hard for me because I have lost my grandparents, but that was quite some time ago. I have not lost anyone in five years and Rory and I were so close. He meant the world to me.

Hello Everyone, I just joined this site because I am having an extremely difficult coming to terms with my boyfriend's death last Thursday, August 17th. He was just 27 years old with a bright, bright future ahead. He was killed at approximately 8:45am on the 17th in a motorcycle accident in Cincinnati, Ohio. I am so confused right now. I feel selfish because I want to hold him, touch him, and be with him. But now I can't. I also have been wishing that I was on the back of his bike when this occurred so that we were together and he didn't go alone. I have so much anger and hate for the lady who pulled out in front of him. I am quite sure it was an accident, but she still killed my baby. She took SO much away from SO many people. I miss him so incredibly much. I live in Florida and he was in Ohio, but we were in the middle of making plans for him to come live here with me. We were so perfect for one another. I have cried every day since last Thursday, I am so emotionally spent. There is no relief for me in sight. I am a teacher and trying to vie with 30 freshmen for five hours per day is taking a real toll on me. Rory is the only thing I think about. I loved him so incredibly much. He was such a polite, hard working, and honest man, one who would anything for anybody. I just do not know where to go from here. I just think about the accident itself and hope he didn't suffer at all. I talked to the first person who got to him after this occurred and this gentleman told me that Rory was still breathing when he arrived. But, he was unresponsive. Rory hated wearing his helmet and this day was no different. He was in a 55mph zone and I am sure he was doing the speed limit. He usually never exceeded the limit on his bike. I just feel so guilty that I wasn't there with him when this occurred. I keep picking up the phone and looking to see if he has called. This is really weird but when I lived in Cincy for a few months, I worked at the YMCA. I was not too much of a happy camper working there so when I would get bored, I would color Rory various cartoon pictures. This one day, I colored him an Elmo picture. The picture said, "I love you." Ever since that day, whenever we would part ways, we would both say, "Elmo." We both knew that meant, "I love you." That was someting special between us. I never had the chance to say goodbye, no chance to let him know how much heis loved. I know he is watching me though. And I love him with all of my heart.