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About MissingMyLove

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  1. The quilt is so, so beautiful. I don't think I could do this though....I would feel too sad to look at his clothes or shirts... I can't really look at my precious hubby's pictures or anything...it's way too painful and I feel like I am going to just fall apart. Today is 75 days I never thought anyone could possibly be so sad. I actually do not even feel like a real person anymore. I feel like an empty shell with no future or anything to look forward to. It's just not fair and I'm feeling so sorry for myself again and of course him, who did not deserve to leave.....he was the best husband in the world, the best person. I guess I just popped in to write again. I always cry when I write in here....it's think it's my therapy..thank you for listening and I hope everyone is doing ok - as best as you can. Again, the quilt is so beautiful....
  2. Well, today is 61 days and I feel no better than day 1. I don't know how people say God helps them get through....he doesn't help me. He didn't help my husband either. I prayed and prayed - nothing. I am so devastated, so scared and so angry every day. I just miss him I try to keep busy just to pass the hours so I can go to sleep is what my days are like. I have no desire to do anything that used to be "fun or entertaining" and I don't think I ever, ever will. We did everything together, although I did go out to lunch twice with a girlfriend - I was still sad. I guess I am just feeling so sorry for myself and my husband as well. He was the best person ever and didn't deserve to go. Why do all the creepy, mean people get to live? I just don't understand. Hugs back to you Linda, thanks for sharing,
  3. Lynn, I know what you mean about this being so difficult. I would never, ever imagine how horrible this would be. What a coincidence, my hubby is the same age as yours. Way too young. We had so many good years coming up. Kids are on their own and we were going to pay off bills and try to have some fun and just relax. He loved to golf and he loved to watch sports. He was low maintenance and very easy to please. Even when I would make a big dinner, he would always comment that he didn't want me to work that hard and sandwiches were fine. He never expected me to work outside the home, he felt like it was his job to take care of the family - he always wanted me to just relax, go out to lunch with a girlfriend or my mom, shop a little, just do girl things and most of all he wanted me happy and he wanted me to feel secure. I felt so loved and he really made my life easy. A few of my friends kept saying I was soooo lucky to have such a good husband and how nice it would be. Now look at me. I have nobody and I never will. I miss him so much. I feel so lost, so sad, so broken..I feel like someone is stabbing me in the heart over and over again - it never stops except when I am sleeping. I will be thinking of you tomorrow.
  4. Dear Lynn, I'm so sorry for your loss and big hug back to you. I am also thinking the same exact thing that you said .....I too keep thinking that there could have been something more I could have done to have him still here. Most days I wish I would have died instead of him. He was the kindest, most sincere, unselfish person I could ever, EVER know.... He did not deserve to have his life over with. It's just not fair. I love him so much, and like you, I feel like a part of body is missing. I just want him back I don't know how people can go either. People always say it will get better....I have no idea how. He is my whole life - and he's gone.
  5. Thank you so much to you all who replied with such warm and welcoming messages....Everyone is so nice and I am so, so sorry for your losses. My heart just aches for you all. For those of you who are somewhat religious...did you or are you angry with God? Today has been 37 days now and I still feel like it's the first day. I just keep thinking that I can't believe it, I can't believe it. It just doesn't seem real...even though I know it is. I would give anything, anything at all to see him for one more day, even one more hour. We were always together except when he was at work...it's just so hard, unbearable actually. I feel like I'm am going to just die when I'm at the grocery store and see things that I would get especially for him...like ice cream and even when I see something we'd eat together....I just feel like my heart is ripped apart and I can hardly get through the isle..... The whole trip is always so sad. Then when I pull up to our house, there's his suv, sitting there and again, so sad.... I come into the empty house and nothing. Usually I would yell out to him "Sweetheart, I'm home" (we always called each other sweetheart for 28 yrs) I hurry up and turn the TV on loud for noise. I might get a puppy soon after figuring out finances. Again, just writing to write.....thank you so much for listening and you are all in my thoughts.
  6. The love of my life, my husband of almost 28 years passed away Dec 11, 2014. It's been 35 days and 8 hours. I am so lost. It just can't be true. I don't even know what to do anymore. I am just going through the motions of day to day living. Which, I don't even care if I live or not to be honest. I told my parents that if I die from sadness, don't be sad or cry because I am with my hubby and I'm happy. I'm not suicidal, because I wouldn't do that to my kids. I have read grief books and read articles in forums online and they all say that grieving is different for everyone, they say that counseling might help or grief support groups. I don't think any type of therapy will help me feel better at all...the only thing that could make me feel better is to have my hubby back. I'm not being negative.....I just know myself. It's so, so, so hard because he was my everything. I was trying to put into words to him last year how much I loved him and I came up with this "I love you more than anybody has ever loved anyone" He started saying it back to me and it was kinda like our thing to say. I miss him so much He would and always has done anything for me. His goal in life was to make me happy. He love me SO much, just so much as I did him. He put me and the family before his needs constantly, over and over again. We did everything together - we were so in sync with everything. We had our whole future before us. He never even got to retire. We never got to pay off our bills and just have fun like we planned. Now he's gone and from the looks of things, he's not coming back. I kept thinking there is some mistake, it just can't be true, but obviously it is I never go to say good bye He had been sick for 2-3 years and was doing "ok" for the most part until I found him on the floor. I still can't believe it. I guess I am just writing to write.... Thanks for listening.
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