The love of my life, my husband of almost 28 years passed away Dec 11, 2014. It's been 35 days and 8 hours. I am so lost. It just can't be true. I don't even know what to do anymore. I am just going through the motions of day to day living. Which, I don't even care if I live or not to be honest. I told my parents that if I die from sadness, don't be sad or cry because I am with my hubby and I'm happy. I'm not suicidal, because I wouldn't do that to my kids. I have read grief books and read articles in forums online and they all say that grieving is different for everyone, they say that counseling might help or grief support groups. I don't think any type of therapy will help me feel better at all...the only thing that could make me feel better is to have my hubby back. I'm not being negative.....I just know myself. It's so, so, so hard because he was my everything. I was trying to put into words to him last year how much I loved him and I came up with this "I love you more than anybody has ever loved anyone" He started saying it back to me and it was kinda like our thing to say. I miss him so much He would and always has done anything for me. His goal in life was to make me happy. He love me SO much, just so much as I did him. He put me and the family before his needs constantly, over and over again. We did everything together - we were so in sync with everything. We had our whole future before us. He never even got to retire. We never got to pay off our bills and just have fun like we planned. Now he's gone and from the looks of things, he's not coming back. I kept thinking there is some mistake, it just can't be true, but obviously it is I never go to say good bye He had been sick for 2-3 years and was doing "ok" for the most part until I found him on the floor. I still can't believe it. I guess I am just writing to write.... Thanks for listening.