Angee

Thank you everyone for the support, I really appreciate it. Today is our one year anniversary and as expected I am filled with sadness. Jesse had so many friends, everyone loved him and those are usually the people I like to surround myself with, but not today. I feel beyond lonely, just alone. No one can ever take his place, no one can save me from this pain. It's still fresh enough where I think he will just show up, I can still smell him, feel him. I question everyday if this is real, is this really my life and it is. I don't know, I just wish he was here, we would have been so happy to have made it to one year. But on a positive note I am happy to have known him at all, to have known real love. I'm grateful for that.

Hello, I do not know how to start and I feel a little silly writing my story after reading the endless love stories of over 10,20, or even 30 years. But I will attempt to give a brief explanation of my situation. I have attempted to reach out to people or resources that I think can understand me but I just feel like no one does. I am 24 years old and on January 25th it will be 2 months that my boyfriend passed away. On January 23rd it would have been our one year anniversary. He was 32 years old, he was diagnosed with diabetes but his death was very unexpected. The cause of death has not been determined yet. Although we were only together a short while, about a year and six months overall our connection was so strong, I was his first love and he was my first real love. We wanted to be with each other for a long time. I have had a hard time coming to terms with him being gone, I feel guilty because he was in his apartment for2 days before I finally decided to go check on him. I wish I would have been there with him. I not only grieve him, but our future together. I thought I had finally found happiness with him, now it seems I'm worse off than I began. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with the fact that he's not here anymore and that I will never find anyone like him. No one will ever love me like him and that breaks my heart. Although I realize I am young and that life will go on for me and I will most likely find love again, I am devastated at the fact that my future that I thought I deserved has vanished overnight. I thought I was finally going to be happy but I only got a taste and it makes me angry. He came into my life during dark times and made me a better person. He was someone I admired he was so wise and knowledgeable on this thing we call life. He was really so special, and I am sad that he is no longer here. I feel completely lost without him and am so confused by my emotions.