jess77

Oh my goodness! I just found your thread ( I am a little slow to learn on these sites:) that must have scared you something terrible! Chance used to run off like that, I would chase him down the street crying. I am sure the neighbors thought I was nuts. Axil ashes have found their place in my jewelry box that my grandpa who has passed away made me when I was in high school. It is a beautiful oak box, so I cleaned it out and put his ashes in there. He is in our family room, and some night back in our bedroom. I have been having good and bad days, luckily the kids make it hard to dwell on him being gone. They helped me put up some pictures with his ashes and they have all picked out cremation necklaces on ebay. my boys who are 8 and 10 were exited that they can keep a but of him for themselves, my 4 year old daughter, I might give a empty necklace too. She will have it in pieces instantly. The hardest part is when I am sad I usually go to him for comfort. my husband and family are helpful, but he was always the one. Even when he was a puppy he was. I used to help take care of my 92 year old great great aunti vi and I got him Dec 5th and brought him to visit her at her care home where she lived and all of the people there loved him. She passed away Jan 2, that year and I was lost. I had help to take care of her for most of my life, whether it was mowing the lawn when she couldn't or doing leaves, to when she developed dementia helping her clean and eat and just visiting her. He was the one how was there with me all the time. My husband worked midnight, so it was Axil and I. I know it will get better and this site has done wonders for me. I do wonder where I wo hi ld be with out it. I thank you all for listening and helping.

I just lost my 13 year of best friend too. His last days were not good either, I am sorry to say. He passed Feb. 12 and the first week was horrible. But I found this website the day after he died and it has helped me so much. You need to know he would have rather been with you then any where else in those last few moments, you were and are his mom. You never meant for him to be in pain and he knows that. I got out all my pictures and home videos of him, those hurt and made me feel better. I didn't want to remember his last 24 hours either. I am not very good at writing people but there are so many kind, wonderful people on here that are, they will help you too. I have come to realize that I will miss him for the rest of my life, and I am gonna have good days and bad. But I believe I will see him again and that gets me through some of those cruddy days. I also have been putting some of my stories about Axil and I in here. It makes my heart feel better. I sleep with his old stuffed toy, it smells like him (which isn't the best, but it helps me to sleep). Some of the ladies recommended the rainbow bridge poem. it helped. Look at his pictures and remember him like that, he would want that. We used to call Axil Guy Smiley. Everyone in the neighborhood thought he was the happiest too.

Well we got to pick up his ashes the other day and that is why I haven't been on here. I am just such a mess. It is too real now. I just miss him so much. my poor other dog is a mess,he keeps having accidents and just looks depressed. The kids are already wanting to get another dog, not to replace but I think to fill the evident hole in our hearts and home. I just miss him.

Axil had a growth like that, that we had them test 3 times and it was benign. It started growing when he was 7 and was there when he passed. I hope Arlies is the same case. I just wonder what we are doing wrong that is making all of them sick. We even bought the expensive dog food for my guys. The breeder we bought him from was a search and rescue breeder that only breed once a year and usually for firemen, search and rescue teams etc. One of his older siblings from another litter was at 9/11. So it's not like they were over breed these people were responsible. Axil got one month to live after surgery, so i don't if you are better off trying it or not. He did have hemangiosarcoma of the blood, which apparently is horrible. Every dog is different. I guess in the end just enjoy your time with them. My other dog Chance has had issues with his back and has had #2 accidents for about a year. Well the day Axil went to the vet Chance #1 in the house and they said he had a bladder infection. They gave him meds and nothing had worked. I did homeopathic treatments, and we are still trying. But last night his hind legs were twitching horribly. I hope he is not losing all of his function in the back. We thought it was because he knew Axil was sick, and this was his nerves. We are still hoping that. I hope you all have a great day. It 30 degrees where I am and that is like a heat wave I am gonna go take Chance on a walk.

I forgot tell how Axil ended up with his name! No not Axil Rose as everyone thinks. Axil Foley from Beverly Hills cop, I had watched it the weekend before and thought that was a great name. Well my husband wanted Ezekial. We had a thumb war.....and I won! So his name was Axil Ezekial. The bad thing.....the little neighborhood kids trying to say his name. Instead of Axil, it sounded like a**hole. When we had our own kids we heard it too! Oh well. We liked it!

Oh Carrie, my heart goes out to you. Just today I was thinking, why did we get dogs the same age? It's just what happened and I wouldn't trade it but we are nervous about Chance our other senior dog. Like your Callie he has been having some issues for some time. Not KD, just old age diease. The old body is starting to fail him but I can't lose him too. So we do what we can. I watched old home videos of my dogs today and I laughed and cried. I hope Axil is young again up in heaven, because when he was here he sure had a good time. Your dog's love you and know you are doing the best for them. I guess just snuggle them a little more, I think that helps them too. Jess

Kayc...that is exactly how we feel. Our other senior puppy has had issues for a year now with #2 in the house but other than that he is great (he has lost a lot of his back muscles). I know they would take care of me! Thank you I think I will write more. My Uncle wrote a short book about his dog after he passed and he told me it made him feel better and he passes it on to people going through the same loss. I think it is a wonderful idea and I have so many wonderful ones of my good friend. I miss you Axil!

Chopper4ever, when I am outside I feel him the most. He loved it out there and it kills me that he had to die in this awful winter. When he couldn't be out as much as he wanted too. But I walked my other dog this morning and I could feel him in the sun and the breeze. It hurt but I know that is what he loved. I hope you feel better. This is a wonderful site. So many caring people.

Well it has almost been a week since Axils passing.....I still look for him when I wake up. I was being a little nutty today, I had to steam clean the carpet where he was because he had been having accidents and I actually tried to smell him in the carpet. I will be good all day and then it hits me like a ton of bricks. Yesterday we got his paw prints in the mail and I was basically in bed for the night, I just sobbed. Someone said the other day at least you won't have to pick up so much poop in the spring and I almost went crazy, I don't think they meant it bad but it hurt me. But I didn't come on to complain I wanted to tell the story of how we got Axil and his name. Jake and I bought our house in July of 2001, he had always had dogs, I had dog cousins (my dad swore he was allergic) by December he was itching to get a puppy. I was nervous. But December 5, 2001 he called a breeder and lined it up that I would go and buy a male that night. I tried everything to get out of it, I lied and said my work door was broke and I had to wait for a man to fix it, I was too tired. But I ended up going with my mother in law about 45 mins away to see him. The people were very nice and greater us at the door with his dog parents. I didn't see him, he was the last one left and his mother had hidden him under the table. But when I did see him it was love at first sight. We played for awhile and started the trek home. Well he didn't like the car and barfed on my poor mother in law. (Maybe he knew about paybacks for other things;)) we got to her house and she said I would need a heart beat dog for him, I said ok? We went home played for awhile and hit the hay. Or so I thought. He started crying probably an hour into bedtime. My husband wanted him crated and he worked over nights so I didn't know what was happening. Well let's just say our first night together we snuggled, our last night we did too. I miss his snuggles. I love telling his stories. If no one cares I think I will do this again. Thank you for taking time out of your day for me. I really think posting here is helping a lot. Animal people are the best!

Oh littlebee, I am so sad for you. But know they are in a better place. That is what I believe for my Axil. We have to have faith. Hugs and a lot of love to you. Telling their stories make it so much easier for me. Have a wonderful day knowing they are together playing in heaven waiting for us. Jess

He was such a funny guy, we would race up our yard and they lay on the ground and wrestle. We were even doing that in December, that is why this is just so unbelievable. If u blew on the back of his ear he would twitch he would let u do it twice but the third time he would luck you face like a crazy dog. He wouldn't do that last week. He loved swimming, when we would go up north to my parents cottage he would be in the water from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon when we left. The car would stink the whole way home. I am going to miss that so much. He even did that this last summer. Everyday is going to be so hard, we did so much together. He and his furry brother Chance would go in the car with me to drop and or pick up their 2 legged siblings from school. If I was in the garden he was there with me. After my husband's and my name on the Christmas card came his, then my other pups then the kids . It went in the age order. Everyone used to think we were silky with that, but they were there first and they meant no less to use then our children. He taught me to really love. I am just so sad. Thank you for listening. I have so many stories, if you don't mind I will keep telling them, it helps my broken heart.

Thank you too Marty and Anne. Your kind words mean a lot right now. I just feel like I have no one to talk to. I just miss him so much.

Thank you for those hugs Carrie, this is such a wonderful site. I am sorry about your Ashely. They are our children, and it is just hurting my heart and my 2 legged kids are a wreck. It is just so hard.

Just knowing I had someplace to tell our story, has made me feel a little better. Maybe I will sleep tonight. Thank you

This is a picture of my beautiful boy.