Yesterday, my son and I went into the back yard to do some yard work and my wonderful Charlie came out with us as he usually does when I do work in the back yard. Some time after we started, my oldest daughter came out and asked where Charlie was. As I was tellign her that he was outside with us, I saw the backyard gate was open. All three of us immediatly started running out to find Charlie. Charlie was a fast runner and always wanted to run to the busy street 2 blocks away from home. I had built a secondary gate by the front door just becase of this.
The night before, my son had friends over and I had asked that they make sure the not to open the back yard gate. They didn't listen and I forgot to check and now my little friend is gone. I never knew I was this attached to him and the pain I feel is indescribable.
I was only seconds behind Charlie as he ran, the neighbor kids all ran out to me to let me know a dog had just run through their yard and out their fence. Seconds before I got to the steet, I heard a horn and knew the worst which was confirmed when I finally could see the street and his litle body lying in the middle. Charlie was still alive when I found him, he was still breathing but not responsive. His eyes were twitching but then they were ok again. He moved his body to lie down better but I could tell from the blood on his little mouth and his lack of response that he was hurt bad.
He was still with us as we pulled into the emergency vet but by the time I got him out of the car, he had stopped breathing. The vet attempted CPR but Charlie was gone. I don't know if he could have been saved even if he was still breathing.
I understand the stages of loss, but the understanding does not help. I want my Charlie back, I know it won't happen. He was still a baby, not even two years old. I can still hear my daughters screams when she saw me with Charlie, I feel my wifes pain when she heard the vet tell us Charlie was gone.
Charlie was the perfect companion. We had such an amazing bond. He is so loved and I miss his love for me. I miss him sitting on my lap, I miss his kisses, I miss his demand for a treat, I miss his playfulness. I just miss him so much.
Charlie was at the dog park just an hour before running and playing with his four legged friends, happy and carefree.
I am still angry with my son and his friends. I would still have my Charlie if they had not left the gate open. They are all 23 years old and not children anymore.
I know this grief will pass with time but right now I have an emptyness in my heart, my eyes are sore from all the tears and I have a deep anger because two young men were reckless with a responsibility.
Thank you for having a place for me to share my grief.