Jeffrey

I'm doing ok I guess. I've been trying to keep busy and have plenty of visitors. I just have trouble dealing with the loneliness.

Today I went out with my friend. Him and I did groceries. It was nice to get out of the house. I need distractions like that in my life right now.

My son had a good birthday. I on the other hand, was sick as a dog. I'm still getting over it. Please keep me in prayer. Thank you!

I got very angry yesterday and just started yelling. I yelled at inanimate things, I yelled at God and I even yelled at Carmen. I am just so upset by this whole thing. This weekend is my sons birthday and I want to be able to enjoy it with him. I don't want to spoil it by being upset. Things are going lousy and they don't look like there will be any let up soon either. I just pray God hears my prayers and gives me some peace of mind. I need to calm down and get some peace of mind.

My son spent last night over. It's nice to have company. I just feel so alone sometimes. I see so many evil people still alive like terrorists and stuff like that. Someone like Carmen never hurt anyone is dead. It just doesn't make sense to me.

I've been alone all day today. It's been depressing. Tomorrow my friend Jeff is taking me to do groceries, then to an eye appointment and finally to a grief support group meeting.

Thank you. My son was visiting for the weekend and he went home just a couple hours ago. I'll be alone all day tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to that at all. Being alone is terrible. Today my friend took me to see the new Avengers movie. It was good to get out of the house. I hope I won't be all depressed tomorrow by myself. Maybe I'll be lucky and someone will stop over to see me.

I'm praying for you Butch. I hope you have a great day today.

I'm praying for you too

Thank you everyone very much. Today is mothers day. Today is especially hard for Carmen's mother. I called her this morning to say happy mothers day. Today will be hard for Carmen's sons too. I miss her greatly. I'm going to go out today with a friend of mine for ice cream. It'll be nice to get out of the house for a while. I pray for all of you who lost someone who was a mother. Thank you for your prayers. The other day I reached out and called for information about a grief support group in my area. I think it would help me quite a bit. I just need to find a ride so I can go. It's on the 2nd and 4rth Wednesday of the month. It sounds real nice too. Please pray that I can find a ride to go to it. I'll try to be relaxed today and not stress. I hope you all have a nice mothers day today.

I broke down crying today because I sold Carmen's van. It's broken down and not worth fixing. I needed the money badly. I feel guilty for selling it though. I hope she understands...

It's been a month that Carmen passed away yesterday. It was a very hard day. I cried a lot. I talked with Carmen's mother yesterday. It was hard for her too, she didn't go to work yesterday. I'm feeling alone. I've had visitors for much of the past month but days like today I am alone. I just pray that God helps me be strong and survive this. This is the single hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I've lost my parents, grandparents, a brother but nothing has ever hurt like this has. I am totally lost. Please pray for me.

I'm alone today. I have a doctors appointment today and then I'm back here alone all day. I do have things to do later this week, but today is a lonely day. I ask for prayer today that I can make it through today alone. I miss Carmen very much and I'm struggling. I hate being alone.

There is nothing wrong with you. I lost my Carmen 3 weeks ago today and I'm going through the motions too. Everything you've said is how I feel inside. It's hard to deal with this I know. Time crawls by and people try to help but there's nothing they can really do. Hold onto his memory. Keep talking to friends and family about it. Get it out. Grieve with your kids. It hurts but you are not alone. I'll pray for you too.

That article was very nice. Thank you for linking it. I got back from my therapist where I spoke from the heart and cried. The hour slipped away. I'll see her again in a couple of weeks.

I just wish I had done so many things with her. She was pretty much bed ridden. We would sit together all day and talk and watch some tv. I treasure those days of just her and I being alone together. I know she loved me, she said it all the time. I was there for her. I just wish I was able to do more for her. We used to like to watch scary movies together. She liked to watch Mike and Molly too. We were watching them a lot those last few days. I'm sorry if I'm rambling on. In my living room I've set up a memorial to her. I have some pictures of her and my keepsake urn there. I'm not sure how most people here think of that but it gives me comfort. Today I'm going to see my therapist and talk about what happened. I bet I'll cry. Her son has been here picking up some of her belongings. I don't really mind too much. It's mostly stuff about him and his brother. He tells me if there's anything I want to just ask. I'm trying to cope. Yesterday I was so lonely. At 2pm I heard a vehicle pull in my driveway... It was my kids. I was so happy to see them. They spent last night over. I'll miss them when they go home today though. Having Carmen gone is a hurt that I thought I would never have. I miss her so much. There are times during the day when I forget that she's gone. I almost ask out loud if she needs anything. Well, I'll sign off for now. Thanks for listening.

I've had people visiting me almost everyday. I'm especially glad my friend Jeff, my son Jeff and my daughter Elaine have been coming over. It's been very hard though. Please keep me in prayer. Thanks.

My beautiful wife Carmen, died a week ago today. She was 42 years old. We've been together for 2 1/2 years and I miss her dearly. I found her and called 911 but it was too late. I am totally heartbroken and lost. I'm trying to remember the good times. We used to like to watch scary movies together and cuddle. Her funeral was just 3 days ago. Time is crawling by as I watch the clock. My kids stayed with me a week but went home last night. I ask for prayer from anyone who'll give it. I pray that God will bless me and give me strength during this terrible time. I have our dog at least. I just hurt so badly that it feels like the pain will never go away. I love you Carmen.