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About scba

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    my boyfriend
  • Date of Death
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3,188 profile views
  1. OMG How rude and cruel! The same as with Tom. Do you like to be unhappy, eeehhhh??? But then, there are those who, like Marg´s neighbour, honor life and loss. There is still hope.
  2. I´m so sorry you have had to suffer such rude comments.
  3. Thank you all. I was 35 y/o then, the benefit of being a young widow was that. I have forgiven these people, cause they don´t know what they were talking about. I can acknowledge now that they didn´t want to hurt me. I wish they will never know about profound loss, and I have took distance from them. Some have had babies and I haven´t visited them. I moved on, but from them. I have followed their advice. I think it was you Marg who once said: do not talk to those whose feet haven´t touched the flames. It was an invaluable lesson, you were right. I have followed that advise since then. I guess people don´t get they are dealing with someone who has changed and probably not for the very best, they still think we are still who we were and if we are not, well it is us who are "responsible" for our attitudes. After some time, it´s our "choice" to grieve or not. But we have this place. We shouldn´t be here no have had these experiences and feeling we are sharing. But at least we have MArty´s place to sit down all together.
  4. Wishing you as much confort as it could be. Rely on parents and friends.
  5. Dear Kieron, Unfortunately the answer to that is YES. Yes they are. Not everybody. This site is an example of all the contrary. I will never forget that, 6 months after my beloved passed (which also ment to move back to my parent`s and leave the city where I`ve lived for 4 years), I`ve been texted: "Are you ENJOYING your time with your parents?" Two month after his passing, a best friend from college told me that it was time to close my previous life and move on. Before his passing, she implied that my bf sickness was related to some theory that is going around about "you`re the result of your thoughts". My BF was dying because he didn had the RIGHT thoughts????? Peace. Ana
  6. Dear Katie, we are thinking and praying for you. Please, any time you feel unwell ask for help. Call someone, go to ER. You don't have to stand up for anything elese on your own. You are not alone. Ask for help and care. Peace Ana
  7. Gin, I send you virtual hugs from here. Peace. Ana
  8. I have no clue about how it happened, however I have no more strength to fight this fight, I am phisically, emotionally and psichologically exausted and drained. I have dealt with that all alone. Feel I can't add nothing more to my backpack at the moment. It feels too heavy. I asked my doctor if I can visit next year and talk about it more in depth. I even lost weight, which is not good considering I am already thin, I can see the changes on my chest. And in the colour of my skin. I havent noticed it before. This 2018 has been another horrible year and I sincerely want to sit down and wait until it is gone. I want to take care of myself with primary care, slow down, eat better, make excersice, sleep. My doctor told me that my body would need 3 month to recover from this stressing episode. Each time, I wonder how I ended up here, why am I talking about PSTD? I should be raising our family. Then, I remember....
  9. We are with you and the boys.
  10. Hello everybody: I wanted to update you that my second health tests have got good results and so, I`m not sick. However, doctors cannot explain some otucomes from blood tests. My Ph. mentioned PTSD. Which makes sense to me. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers during these endless weeks fo awaiting. Peace Ana.
  11. I´m glad your son will be close to you, Marg. Some groups are not suitable for our needs but you don´t need to feel bad about it. PErhaps a book club?
  12. I don´t want silence either
  13. A hobby won´t fill the void, and won´t make our issues dissapeared, they´ll be waiting for us upon our return to our home. During these years I´ve been attending random courses which have absolutely nothing to do with my educational background nor my skills, just for making time pass. Because they are not related, my brain can´t make connections with my past and my loss. I go there, pay attention, make questions and go home. I don´t take notes nor I search further information afterwards. I don´t feel changed nor joyful. It is a tactic. Of course I wish that would change and turn into something close to a hobby. So what´s the point if it doesn´t ignite something. I take the fact of keeping a schedule as the "gain" of the hobby suggestion. This has been my experience, for what´s worth.
  14. Dear Gwen, No, the date is not relevant and it serves to no purpose. How the date could offer any positive When you have been grieving for another whole year? I understand your anger and despair. I have learned too that nobody else will come to help us to face what challenges are left to us. We were left alone with this and that. Pain coming from loss and from being/feeling helpless and alone is advised with: "go to counselling"."Find hobbies". We are here to listen. Ana