Momgoddess2002

Dylan I'm so sorry for your loss, especially at your age. It's weird how some people behave when someone dies. It's hard enough to handle the loss without any drama. Your dads gf may not know how to cope, but I hope she finds it in her heart to give you his watch.

Thanks kayc.

It's only been a couple of weeks. Go easy on yourself. Time will make things easier though.

Guilt seems to be a common thread here. I wish I could tell you not to feel guilty, but its something I am still struggling with too. I'm really sorry for what you've had to go through. Hopefully time will help.

Both my parents died April 2014. They lived with my husband, kids and me for 14 years. The last few years I had become more of a full time caregiver as they both got sicker. Dad was in poor health for years, but the last year he was in and out of the hospital. Mom ended up with Alzheimer's, but it took a while to realise what was wrong. She went into the hospital with a uti and I really thought after a few days she'd be home. We got a call in the middle of the night that she had passed. I probably shouldn't have been, but I was blown away. She had been so healthy physically. My sisters and I never thought mom would go first. Three weeks later dad died. I had just gotten him placed in a nursing home. Sadly the space became available two days after mom passed, but I knew we had to take it. He was in and out of the hospital and I no longer felt qualified to look after him. He was there for about two weeks and so unhappy I decided I had to bring him home. I was trying to arrange for nursing care to help out so I told him on the Friday that we were bringing him home. None of us wanted to see him so unhappy. With mom gone it was too sad for him. So Monday morning as we're on our way to get him my daughter calls and says the nursing home just called an ambulance. We were literally pulling into the parking lot and I could hear the siren. He passed away just before we got there. It was the worst built I've ever felt. I didn't get to say goodbye because we were running about 20 minutes late. Shortly after all this, we decided to move which meant a lot of renovations. I threw myself into it. We moved in Oct. Two weeks later I got a job through an agency. I never dreamt of get anything that fast. I hadn't worked for years. Shortly after that my daughter ended up in a major depression. It's been a non stop roller coaster ride for over a year now. Things finally seem to be calming down. Thank God, my daughter is getting better. I almost feel like with all the upheaval I put off really grieving. I feel like someone pulled the rug out from under me when my parents died and its still like that. I keep thinking I should be OK by now, but some days I just feel lost. Sorry this was so long winded. I guess I needed to vent.