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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Tray'sMom

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    ca
  • Date of Death
    8/8/15
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

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  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    cumming. Georgia

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  1. I am so grateful to know that you all understand how sad, disoriented, and even a bit angry I feel about my precious Tray dying. I love that you see in his eyes what I see. He was so knowing and intuitive. Today I went to the library and fairly arbitrarily selected a book about grieving a pet's loss. Today was one of those days where I intensely felt his absence hour after hour. The book I chose is written by Jon Katz entitled, Going Home, Finding Peace When Pets Die. I opened to the intro of the book when I sat in my car unable to drive. The first words struck me hard: "It was my birthday Aug 8, 2005..." when Jon's returning home with his dog's euthanized body. August 8, 2015 is when Tray was euthanized. I know it's likely a mere coincidence the month and days match, but it makes me hopeful Jon Katz's book is going to help me heal. As talking to you is going to help me heal. And I will try a memorial activity eventually. I have both my dog' ashes with plans to spread them, but those plans are history for now. I want to hold on. The ups and downs are dizzying but reading your words, feeling your empathy, do give me hope I will level out eventually. But not yet...And to all of you who lost your little ones, bless you and may you feel some joy eventually, then always, as it is well deserved for the great loving you gave and received so dearly with your precious fur baby. Thank you.
  2. Awake at 11:30 pm last night, reliving Tray's seizure two weeks ago to the day and hour, and then finally slept in a pool of tears. Awake again at 2am, reliving the debate of euthanizing, two weeks ago to the day and hour. Never slept again last night as 3am arrived, time of his death, which tore my heart out anew. My perfect dog has been gone two weeks and I feel like it's me that's dying for two weeks. Tray was my heart dog whose presence has gotten me through the past 3 years of huge challenges: my cancer survival, Tray's brother's death, Rocky, due to cancer, deaths of two friends and 13 weeks ago, the death of my father. Now I hug a pillow and pretend. My husband doesn't relate to grief of this level so I try to spare him and hold my meltdowns for when he's not home. In some ways I admire his practicality and his awareness and acceptance of the impermanence of all life. I only know those things and do not feel them or live them. I want Tray back in my life and that is all I feel. I'm grateful to have found this group of people sharing their feelings and wisdom about surviving a loss of a precious, innocent, gift of this world, our fur babies. Though actually in some ways my grief is amplified because I don't want any of us to suffer. But as someone once told me, "if you want to avoid suffering, you're on the wrong planet." I wouldn't give up my life with Tray for anything, so I guess I just have to suffer through this huge loss and chasm in my heart.
  3. Amy, grieve as long as it takes til a new perspective arrives. It think it will, eventually, and it has to be more tolerable than now. And if it doesn't come for years, so be it. And, for me, when my loved one was robbed of a long life, I got mad as hell and I still am. I'm angry your precious Daniel went to sleep and left so suddenly. I'm angry and sad you have to face life without him. But you sound so together in that you shine a light on the unique and precious time you were husband and wife. That tells me some day, some time, you will find a new you with beautiful memories filling all the cracks in your heart. Love to you and just take it one breath at a time...a deep breath.
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