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Marg M

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About Marg M

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

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  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
  • Interests
    Watching Marvel movies with my granddaughter, reading, existing

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
    October 17, 2015
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:

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  1. I knew who it was and I think that should be the heading of the anonymous letter you go to the library and send it through the office email, and also corporate email addressed to "the bitch" whatever her name is. Actually, as many hours as you have logged in at that place they should have a plaque for "head volunteer" and an office and all the business comes down through you and bypasses "the bitch." What you do is donating your time, what she does is dictate, and you should not be able to dictate to precious volunteers or you will have to pay money for someone to take their place.
  2. Oh heck Gwen, if I stopped being a bitch then all the fun would go out of my life. My sister just called, to hell with this rehab no cigarette stuff, she has to have a cigarette now. I was going to get her but my daughter has already gone. Really, if I have to quit being a bitch I have got to learn to be someone else. I hear echoes of that damn Indian doctor telling me "You've got to learn to love yourself." Times up. Pay over 100 dollars for less than 15 minutes. People like him make bitches out of me. (My daughter went to get my sister, told her she was grouchy, and she is now smoking her cigarette telling Kelli she is about to have her sweet aunt again. Lawdy.
  3. Kay, I had high fever and a house full of Billy, Brianna, Kelli, and Scott all begging me to go to the ER. I had just visited my care provider that afternoon and I told them "No, it is the week end and they will have doctors from other hospitals filling in and I'm not going till Monday morning." The next thing I remember is seeing two little girls sitting on the steps of the ambulance, they stayed there. They were twins probably five years old. I remember white blouses and blue and white checked pinafores, both had dark hair. I remember asking for them on the gurney being taken into the ER. No one saw them ever, but me. If Billy had not called the ambulance (like I should have for him), I would be dead. If I had not passed out, I would be dead. Life sure plays crazy jokes on us.
  4. I didn't know there was an age that separated you from the pneumonia shot but being 76, I think I am old enough to take anything. Just never had the pneumonia shot.
  5. Marg M

    Big mistake

    When I get out of my driveway for the apartments I enter highway 159. That takes me anywhere that I want to visit, which is nowhere, which is where all the roads go. One takes us to Haynesville (named after a GGGgrandfather) who had people move around him and moved his family six months later. Still named for him. Small, small town but I got lost in it trying to go to El Dorado, AR. Straight up the road from me is a little rock church called Old Shongaloo Methodist Church, which is where all my dad's kinfolks are buried and our plot is right behind Mama and Daddy's. Just a little country road. (paved.) I used to go to graveyard "workings" when I was a little kid with my grandma and aunts. Dinner on the boards nailed to the trees. Then we would go to Western Cemetery where the rest of the kinfolks were buried. Now someone is hired to do all the cleanings and I guess for a cemetery they are pretty. Billy is just gonna have to be satisfied being around my folks. His fault My kids both sleep days. Kelli was going to Walgreen's for Tylenol for high temperature. She stopped Bob (her little yellow car named after Bob the Minyon). She was taking a picture of the Methodist Church steeple on main street. It was lit up and she thought God had decided to make beautiful lights turning the bushes purple. It was the police. We sent the picture to them and they put it on their site and the pastor made a copy too. Our little town (about 11,000) people has red brick streets for the two main streets. Old. Look up Minden, Louisiana on Wikipedia, and yes, that was kinfolks. And, I think that was why Mama told me not to do genealogy. I told Brianna my first "crush" was on my 4th cousin and she was horrified. Incest. I was 14 and he ran every time I came around. I wasn't gonna bother him but my uncles teased him miserably. You put me to shame. One of my best friends is in the nursing home only about 30 miles away in my old hometown. The last time I went to see her she was covered up in bed, looking at a blank wall. She likes fig Newtons. I have to make time to go. My sister does not have a car and Bri won't learn to drive. (This is mine and Billy's first married and for years home), and he was from three miles down the road in a little town that still had toilets in downtown 50 years ago. I go to Shreveport/Bossier once a week to take Bri to counselor. I can do it. We ride all up and down the busiest streets, but I sure like being a country gal. And Bri wants to live in NYC.
  6. Marg M

    Big mistake

    My kids and Brianna get so angry at me about "spoilers" so I don't give them to them. Sorry if I ruined anyone's plans. If you know anything about these movies though, they all end the same. I liked your word salad the best Gwen because........................when you cannot find anyone else to talk to, here we are. Love you my friend and hope things get easier. I wish you could find country roads up around Seattle, but guess you'd have to go to Wyoming or Montana to do that. You too Gin, in Chicago. I once bought a set of DVD's from Sam's visiting all the countries I wanted to go to. Netflix has a lot of documentaries that take you places too. I don't travel much without Billy.. Sometimes a trip will make me feel lots better (50 mile radius) and sometimes I will cry like a baby. Never can tell. Oh, and my sister's therapist is having her quit smoking so I only go around when I have to. Hey, I've traveled that road too many times with Billy.
  7. Gwen, can you go to the public library and write something similar to what you wrote and send it to her email anonymously ? Might make her meaner though.
  8. Marg M

    Big mistake

    Cookie, I went to the movie prepared. I, of course, knew how it ended (this is at least the 3rd remake of the original). Did not stop my crying. I just kept paper towels from one eye to the other. My granddaughter was using her sleeves. I would see one arm go up and then the other constantly. I will not watch a movie if I know ahead of time that it is sad. Spoilers here, the leading man takes his life in all the movies to keep from ruining the reputation of his wife's new singing career, to keep from bringing her down. James Mason walks out into the Pacific Ocean to save his wife's career (Judy Garland). I think Kris has a car "accident" to save Barbra Streisand's career. Norman Main was one character, this must have been his relative Jackson Main. I would not have gone except it was Lukas Nelson (Willie's son, of course) and his band Promise of the Real's big break. He and Lady Gaga collaborated on the music and I knew his band backed Jackson Main up on stage. I was hoping to see him, and I did. I think I was totally fortified before I went in, so nothing was a surprise, but was still worthy a long cry. Gwen and Cookie, I sure do not have any answers to this empty hollow feeling we all have. My granddaughter lives with me, my son is moving back at the beginning of November. He is so depressed and alone and does not understand why his relationship broke up. I am not kidding, and this would hurt his feelings, but he knew this girl had the personality of a bitter weed, and that old saying about having to hang a pork chop around her neck to get the dogs to play with her is my best description of her. Her own folks hate her coming around and she really has been fired from every job she has ever had. He broke up with her, and it hurts him and he cannot understand why she has no feelings at all. Enough of that. I guess these things have kept my mind busy although sometimes I think my body is throwing the hat in the ring. My body cannot be fixed and I just do not want to be a burden to them at all. That is my biggest concern. This "small" illness scared me so much and my desire to sleep all the time scares me. I am like the tinman in the Wizard of Oz, and I know I need exercise to keep moving, but even with my family around, it seems my will to live has to be fought for and I think we all feel that way. (I want to see my granddaughter and kids have good relationships). I admire the ones on the forum who are open to another relationship, but at my age, I just cannot muster that kind of thinking. Do not want to even try. And, that is the gist of it all "do not want to even try." Covers everything pertaining to life. But, if that is true then why do I even consider the pneumonia shots? Life and living is a conundrum. Sorry, just felt like a "word salad" kind of day.
  9. They did not do blood work first and I am always suspicious of antibiotics. They wreck havoc on my already injured colon. Going to have to request IV or shots from now on. I hope you are feeling lots better. Your getting out and trying to volunteer again. That deserves thanks from a company that runs and owns the nursing home, not stress. I'm very proud of you. For some reason all i want to do is sleep and I hate sleeping more than usual. Hugs to you all.
  10. My dad always felt it was important to remember dates signifying something in his and my mom's marriage. Usually flowers, which she complained, just died. One time a blouse, (Mama sewed all her clothes) and she asked him how much he paid. He told her and she said she could make it for 75 cents. He never quit though. Billy remembered, but he would have his sister pick it out or my daughter, as she got older. The sentiment, somehow, was not the same if someone else picked out a card. My daughter married and this man was the same way Billy acted. He could see it meant a lot to my daughter and somehow, he decided he would do the remembering. He did, but by this time I had come to the understanding he was so good in so many ways, this one thing did not matter. He certainly was a more loving father to his kids and grandkids than my dad had been and you learned to appreciate subtle differences. I appreciated them and of course, like all of you, I miss them. It somehow makes those days not that important anymore, now just every day is as important as the last one. Gwen, my colon decided it could not handle Bactrim. Personally, I am doing okay.. I'm wondering about the Pneumovax for pneumonia. I will wait awhile, but I am not thinking now that I am untouchable; and I don't want pneumonia.
  11. So Kevin, I am not very smart about Canada locations (Louisiana confounds me sometimes), but are you moving away from that picture that you put up there, the autumn picture? Seven hundred miles would take me from here to New Mexico headed west and probably out into the Atlantic headed east. Are you going to have mountains? I know your going to have a golf course. Good luck with your move Kevin and I hope you are as happy as you can be.
  12. You tell yourself it is just another day like yesterday, like tomorrow, like last Sunday. And it is, we know that, they all are the same, as my grandma said after 18 years, it was like it happened yesterday. Thanks Gwen, needed that hug. 💗💗💗
  13. I started out this 3rd anniversary in the doc's office with acute mucopurulent bronchitis. I could have left that mucopurulent off, but it just seems to make it more important. Shot of Rocephin and bottle of Tussionex along with Bactrim. If Billy had been here, I would have taken myself to doctor, I did that lots of times, but he always had to have me go with him, and go in the office with him. So, I will honor him with a picture before the beard, (actually, I think he had just started growing it) a picture when we were a family, harried often, but that was a family one time. I miss him. The top part of the picture is of Kelli's bed or pillow, guess she took a picture of a picture. It wasn't my picture, it was her's. She posted it and a lot more this morning because it had been three years today. My kids still hurt too, of course, always will. Strange though, I loved my mom and dad and they were individuals in their own self, but I never left my kids with them much. Not because I worried about my kids bothering them, they just were not loving grandparents, or parents. Sometimes this happens. Billy's folks were so loving and loved to have them stay with them, but Kelli never got to know Billy's dad.. They were already old when they were babies.
  14. Is this where you are leaving, or is this part of the country you are moving to? Where is this? It is beautiful. My son got his apartment down here. He will be moving next month. (Get this, it is right across the hall from his sister). I hope you enjoy your new place Kevin. This picture is so beautiful.
  15. Gwen, without losing Billy I would not be here either. I have really learned that I am blessed and it is too early for my family to grieve again. Yesterday there was a solid blue sky and I missed Billy. Today the whole sky is covered with clouds and I jabbered the whole time I was out in it. Now, my favorite thing is probably something you that live in the city cannot do. I traverse the country roads, unless I have to be there fast, then it is interstate. I hate interstate and your big cities make our interstate look like country roads. Keep on keeping on my friend and I sure hope you are feeling better physically.