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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Mdc0128

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  • Posts

    11
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Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Daughter
  • Date of Death
    11/24/2015
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Nathan Adelson Hospice

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Las Vegas, Nv

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  1. I came across this site right before my moms death as I was searching online for grief groups. This group gave me comfort when I couldn't find it around me. Well, its been over a year since my first post and a year as of Thanksgiving that my mom departed this earth. Life has gotten "easier" in the sense of the word that I'm no longer dreading each daybreak. I hit a point where I started working out more, taking care of myself, and forcing myself to find joy. After her death, I moved back where I had people who could hold me accountable. The road was difficult and forced me to feel a ton of emotions that I didn't want to. Yet, a year later. I'm still alive. I got married and found happiness, and even though I'm still grieving, I've gotten to a point where I can cope, because I know she's with me. I can feel her and find solace in that. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone on this board. I wouldn't have gotten through those crucial first few months.
  2. How do people react when you tell them? I was an only child, and my mom and I were very close. I dont have a very close relationship with my father, so my identity was also part of mine and my mom's relationship. I find that acquaintances get uncomfortable simply because they're not sure what to say. They very quickly try to end the conversation and typically tell me to call them if I need anything because they feel obligated. I'm so sorry for your loss, my mom passed away almost 4 months ago.
  3. I moved back to my hometown after my mom died. Literally within a week, I moved back after 5 years of being gone. I was fortunate enough to have family friends who welcomed me into their home. I find that the longer I live here, the more people I bump into. There's unavoidable instances of "Oh how's your mom been?", and then having to explain that she died. It's awkward and just brings up memories I would rather not remember.My mom's death has suddenly become part of my identity even in my hometown. Has anyone else faced this issue?
  4. I moved back to my hometown after my mom died. Literally within a week, I moved back after 5 years of being gone. I was fortunate enough to have family friends who welcomed me into their home. I find that the longer I live here, the more people I bump into. There's unavoidable instances of "Oh how's your mom been?", and then having to explain that she died. It's awkward and just brings up memories I would rather not remember.My mom's death has suddenly become part of my identity even in my hometown. Has anyone else faced this issue?
  5. Hello Beth, My mom passed away nearly 13 weeks ago as well. I can relate to what your going through. I have days where I'm scared I won't wake up in the morning. I feel like I'm on autopilot at times. When I have really bad days, I ask myself "Would My Mom Want this for me?". Then I continue on and try my best to smile. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. I'm 25. Melanie
  6. On February 24th, I went to see a friend in the hospital. She had been admitted due to an issue with her pregnancy. The entire time I felt like I was screaming and trying to escape the hospital. I was having panic attacks just entering into a hospital. When I looked at my friend in her hospital bed, I kept picturing my mom. The entire experience was horrific. My mom spent the last 6 weeks of her life in the hospital with complication after complication. I watched as her body shut down and no one could tell me why. I sat next to her bedside and pleaded with god not to take her yet. Even as she was "getting better", I was unaware of the fact that cancer was eating away at her. I was unaware that the procedures the doctors were putting her through were useless because she had no chance at survival. To say the very least, hospitals scare me now. My boyfriend though was next to me and noticed that something was wrong. He's seen me have panic attacks and still smile and try to leave everyone around me blissfully unaware. He rushed the visit and as soon as I went outside, I took a deep breath, holding back tears. Has anyone else gone through this? I worry I'm always going to fear hospitals. Its only been 3 months since my moms passing, but she was young and it was sudden. She had heart surgery, a stroke, developed gangrene, blood clots and on top of it had stage 4 cancer that no one knew about. I feel like I've lost trust in the hospital system.
  7. Hello Everyone, I'm starting to warm up to posting more. Thank you everyone who has been replying to my posts. You have no clue how much it means to me to have this support system. Lately, I've been struggling with people reminding me that I am my mothers legacy. My mom struggled her whole life from drug addiction to being a single parent to numerous tragedies. However, she kept me in a bubble to protect me from everything. I became an overly motivated 20 something whose goal oriented due to my mothers efforts. I feel lost without her some days because she was my support system. Our family was never close and my dad was a deadbeat. She was my whole family. I never spoke to any of my family members and even now after my moms death, I still don't speak to them. However, my moms best friend who basically helped raised me has come to my rescue and her family has taken me, this very lost recently 25 year old in who just lost her mom. I'm so grateful for that. I'm grateful for them being there when I myself feel as though Im going off the edge. My moms birthday was on Tuesday January 12th, she would have been 46 years old. They took me to lunch and we celebrated her birthday. They gave me an avenue to speak about how I was feeling. I think the grief process for me has been made me difficult by the fact that my moms death marked the end of any genetic family I had. I have days where I feel utterly alone, and those days her death hits my even more.
  8. My mom died November 24th, 2015. She died of cancer after being in the hospital for 6 weeks. She was only 45. She had a stroke prior to the cancer diagnosis and wasn't able to communicate at the time of her death. I was her power of attorney. Right after my mom died, I moved to another state. I moved back to my hometown. I quit my job and moved in with family friends and totally started over. The hardest part of all of this was packing up my moms stuff and placing it in storage. I haven't been quite ready to go through it so this was the easiest solution. In a couple of weeks, I have to go back and get everything from the storage unit. In addition, I'm picking up my moms ashes. She was cremated by the state due to lack of funds. Im not going alone however, I'm dreading everything. I haven't spoken much about her death because I'm just trying to cope with life without her. Those around me are open to "talking about it", but Im just not quite ready to talk about how I feel beyond my fear that I too will get cancer. I try to ignore my feelings but often find myself crying myself to sleep and not wanting to talk to anyone about it. My closest friend knows better and tells me not to shut everyone out. I have a tendency to throw myself into work and shut everyone out and use the excuse of "Im just working a lot" when in reality I'm working a lot to forget. Has anyone else struggled with talking about a parents death?
  9. My name is Melanie. Im new to this forum. Today i got the news that my 45 year old mom would be going to hospice home. She had a stroke, amputation, heart surgery and now cancer that has spread. Im 24, and am having a very difficult time with the loss of my mom. She was my best friend and raised me as a single parent.
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