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About Gin

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    Advanced Member

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    Chicago, il

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
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  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:

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  1. I had lunch with a professional counselor (not grief) dthat I know. Her first question was, "Well, how do you like the single life?" I said, "What do you think?" She replied, " I guess you do not". Understatement! Even she had no clue.
  2. Tom,. It sure is hard. I absolutely can not do some things that Al and I used to do. Like going to plays. We used to go at least once or twice a week. Never been to another since Al is not with me.
  3. Yes, Mitch. It is hard enough to have to be alone so much. Bad weather compounds it.
  4. Thanks everyone. I looked at our wedding pics today...bittersweet. I have a video but I could not bear to look at that. Too much to see him moving and smiling and alive.
  5. Today marks our 18th wedding anniversary. What a great day that was! What a contrast to today. Al and I wrote and read short poems for all our guests. Everyone had a good time. Wish he were here to reminisce. Just wish he were here for so many reasons! These anniversaries can be so very hard.
  6. So sorry, Gwen that you are hurting so bad (physically and mentally). I agree that loneliness is the worst torture. Keeping busy is good, but it does not take away the pain! Hope things settle down for you. gin
  7. Hi Mitch, glad you are back. My life is so empty and pointless without Al. It is really tough without them!
  8. Just talked to a friend and she told me about the cruise they are planning in May. We went with them on 3 trips. I do not want to be be unkind, but I really do not want to listen. Most people just do not realize how we feel. How empty and lonely we are.
  9. Marg, I feel totally useless, also! Nothing I do is of any importance to anyone, myself included. I tried to volunteer, but they did not seem to want anyone at the nursing home. I am 79 and maybe that turns them off. They probably think I should live there! I have considerable pain in knees and back, so it is hard to do too much. Everything I see or do reminds me of how much I miss Al. Maybe I should go out and buy some ice cream!
  10. Gwen and Tom, Me, too. People telling me about how wonderful the memories are. No consolation there. All it says is, "You do not have the good times anymore and never will".
  11. Hi Marita,. Thinking about you during this hard time. Mine is 37 months. In one way it seems like it just happened and then it seems like forever since I saw him. Gin
  12. Good to see you back. We missed you.
  13. Joyce, I know how very hard thes days are. The 4th anniversary without Al is coming very soon for me and I am dreading it. We were married for 15 years and I miss him so very much. I do not think there is an easy way to get thru it. Remembering things makes it harder for me because I do not have that love and closeness any more. No one can come close to filling that place in my heart. Joyce, I hope you can have some peace on this special day. Know we are thinking of you. Gin
  14. Oh Gwen,. I feel so bad for you. I know it is such a hard road. Being alone magnifies everything, especially when illness rears its ugly head. I have no ambition to get rid of stuff so I can leave this house. Too much to take care of. I understand how it overwhelms you. Do call the crisis line if you need to. You are valuable to us and we want you well. Gin
  15. Went to the doctor today. He was Al's Doctor, also. I reminded him that it has been 3 years. Of course I was tearing up. I told him how hard it was living without Al. I told him I was really trying..joined a book club, health club, and Bible Study, etc.. Then he said, "But the person you want to talk to isn't there". Exactly. Now I was more than tearing up. They were spilling over. I left.