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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

jimmie&diana

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Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    auburn NH

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    CA
  • Date of Death
    12/20/15
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA
  1. Something that maybe of help to others, I have found that writing this to our boy , also posting to others dealing with a loss of there pet along with making a memorial for him has helped, also knowing that others are feeling the same pain as us and it is normal for theses feelings for theses feeling mean true love for our loved ones. Jim and Diana. PS. This picture was buddy before he got sick.
  2. To our best boy, our Chappie boy , our best friend forever, 01/7/2002 - 12/20/2015. Our way home, our path to a better life. You gave us the best 13 years we ever had. You were our best boy, we miss you so much, we hurt every second, and we want you back so so bad. We are so sorry you had to go this way. We feel so sorry you had to feel any pain. we cried behind your back so you would not be stressed because we knew how much you didn’t like us to be sad until the end was near we could not hold back our tears and we cried with you in our arms, we felt so bad as you got sick we didn’t want you in anymore pain, you got so sick so fast we tried to take your sickness away by taking you to the doctors and even tried different ones, we finely found a vet that promised us some hope. You did so good after your operation , we thought you was free of the cancer , after your operation you did so well everyone even the surgeon was so shocked you were so perky you were running again walking and eating back to your young self, it was the best week we had for that year. we found your cancer was so ruff we did everything we could to help you dear boy our best friend we cried during your surgery we prayed asking for you to come back to us safe and sound to your home you came and incredibly you were back on your paws you were so good we brought you to your favorite places and we shared a few good days we thought it was gone the horrible tumor was gone for good , the morning we saw that lump come back we took you right back to the vet they did another test and the test was 2 cancers in one we almost died we was so sad so shocked it was coming back again and fast it was two types of cancer in one spot, it was so fast boy I’m so sorry we tried everything to slow it down but it was coming back to take you away, you lost so much weight and would not eat we fed you with a syringe and wet your lips when you were so thirsty we got you the best organic foods that you loved Beef Bison salmon and pork chops , so sorry to take away the carrots and sweets for we were trying to starve the cancer of sugars . we got you everything we could we did all we could to make you cozy and full, we held you in my arms for 3 weeks as the cancer got worse, watching you throw up was heart breaking we know you were so thirsty and it was so hard not to see your thirst go away daddy packed your dressing with Manuka honey and essential oils to try to soften your area so you could poo and fight infection , We soaked you in the tub only to sooth your ulcerated wound, we took you to the doc as much as you hated them they all realy loved you tried their best to Help us , we got you the top supplements to boost your body and fight the cancer toward the end you could not drink your water and hold it down you didn’t want to eat anymore you were so sick boy your poor eyes were starting to sink in, we were your helpers your nurses you parents your companions we helped you as much as we could, Daddy and mommy went above and beyond to make you better but the cancer was too much it spread so fast without us seeing it was already there destroying your insides, when we first noticed something was wrong we took you to the doc a number of times but they said they couldn’t help you anymore . at the end we was so upset we did not sleep for 3 nights as we took turns holding you in our arms and sleeping by your side. when we got up you would cry for your mommy and daddy to come back and we would run back to you boy . For we will remember your first bark when you was only 4 months old and last howl at 13 years, whenever Daddy was away at work mommy was there for you daddy had to work and he would feel your pain when working he would sometimes break down and cry at work. We knew it was very bad when we felt the hunger in your belly but would not eat and could hear you breathing funny in your sleep. We didn’t want to throw in the towel we wanted to fight it more but we couldn’t bear to see you in any more distress and pain. Toward the end your bum was so ulcerated and so painful we couldn’t let you go on any more. We didn’t want to see you go I held the phone in my hands for three nights finding it too hard to make the call. we just couldn’t see you like that anymore after all the years of our going for walks and going for rides to the park going fishing and camping playing ball, you walking with your skunk toy and fox tail, every day daddy came home from work we really di love you greeting me at the door to take my hat , this year we will really miss you pulling the Christmas tree down the trail with Sukie beagle we will have to take your place for we don’t know if she will pull it without you there . We went for a walk and she smells you’re sent and looks all around we think she thinks you ran away and will be back she looks to your bed every night to see if you are back. All the good days we had together. You really were our best of boy. We couldn’t bring you to a place to let you go so we called a nice doctor who come to the house with here bag of things to take the pain away, she insured you would pass with no more pain, daddy held your head to my head like we would do before bed and every morning before we left for work, mommy held your hand and Andrew rest his head on your back we felt your last breath as your drifted to the other side to the end we always said we would be there with you till the very end the end was here end we love you we had to stick to it and we did , it was by far the hardest thing we ever did but we knew we had to be there till the end it’s what we promised you your whole life I’m so sorry the end was now, we always just thought one day you would pass in your sleep and old happy dog we really didn’t want you to suffer from sickness daddy and mommy always love you we have taking your pain away now and put it right into us . My eyes bleed like never before you were our love our past and present you are always with us we will never forget you , my only wish is to see you one day when we pass to play tug and sniff in the woods together, i ask you to make us a place there where you are we will see you again , we hope you found your way we hope you found your friend bun buns were sorry about her to, she was your friend we knew when she passed you missed her dearly we are gathering all your pictures I’m putting them all together so we can see you all the time , suki beagle your companion is still at the fridge barking for food she thinks you are in the woods she goes in the yard and watches the woods for you she is confused for now she misses you and we will take care of her just like you I’m sure she will be there with you soon for she cannot stop eating. we will never forget the day we took you home , you were the most hansom beagle you walked like a show dog you were so tiny with your dome head that bumped the coffee table , we lived in a small apartment that would not take dogs when you learned about your bark we could not hide you there anymore , we would take you in and out hiding you in a back pack till you grew out of that , we finally moved , boy it was you that helped us move on to a new place away from the city , a place so peaceful we enjoyed you every moment , we will miss you till the day come that we can be together again, we will walk together and you will show us your new home . You were and always are my best friend best companion. Our best boy, Buddy Chappie Beagle. You rest easy, You will be greatly missed love always, Mommie, Daddy, Andrew and sukie .
  3. We are so sorry about your Celsius, your feeling of guilt is normal,We also are feeling the same guilt, We are also coping with guilt for we just had our poor beagle boy put to rest three days ago on Dec 20th he was sick from cancer, he was the most loving beagle he was our cuddle bug and our best friend. We raised him since a little pup, Chappie boy gave us such love for many years. we are learning that the guilt is normal and you cant let it destroy you for your friend would not want you to be guilty for helping her threw a terminal illness. Not letting Celsius suffer to the end was the best thing you could of done at this point, trust me you do not want to see your friend curl up in a ball in pain and die an agonizing death your guilt would be a thousand times of what you feel now. you must let go of the guilt and realize that your Celsius new that you realy loved her, and also know that when they look confused and you may think they don't understand, They will understand everything when they pass on to heaven and there body will be free of any pain. After her passing your job is to take her pain from her into your body. it is very natural for someone to feel this if they loved there friend and helped them threw a struggle such as her's. Nobody likes to lose a battle that is what makes us try so hard to win, but when it comes to disease or infection it is extremely hard to win that fight and you could try everything in the world even a million dollars will not win a disease like the one your friend and ours had. As long as you gave a fight at the end you have won by destroying the sickness unfortunately in order to win you will also lose, in the case of our beloved friends we lost them during the fight it has always been this way. During war you will lose many good men in order to win, but somebody will lose the war. You would not feel this way if you didn't love her and she will under stand this as when they pass there is great understanding to what happened as there guide will show them how much you loved her and tried to help her. if you truly love your Celsius and it sounds like you do you have created a spiritual bond and you will be connected with her again one day i promise. truly sorry for your loss Jim and Diana
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