Right after Dale passed away, I started a letter to him. I've been keeping it going and write to him on special occasions and just when something happens. It somehow makes feel more connected to him, even though I talk to him all the time. Today has been 3 years since he left this life and I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about and know how I feel, so here is a little part of what I wrote him today:
"Sure the holidays, birthdays, anniversary are hard without you, but it's the little "everyday" things that you did that I miss the most. The way you would come up behind me and give me a hug when I was cooking or doing the dishes; when we were watching TV at night and sitting on our respective couches depending on which way I was facing you, you would lay your hand on my arm or hold my foot; when we would go for a motorcycle ride or to friends for a BBQ, I would french braid my long hair down to my neck and you would finish braiding the rest of my hair (regular braiding) so that I would have a nice even straight braid (cause I hated crooked braids); you would always hold my hand when we were walking through a parking lot into a store or when we were in a crowded place; when I was working outside the home, you would call me when you got home from work always earlier than me to let me know you were home and that you loved me; when I started working from home and would be in my office working, I would catch you peeking around the door jam watching me work; how proud and excited you would be when I got an award at work or finished some craft thing I had been working on; you would always find me no matter what I was doing, even sleeping, to kiss me goodbye when you left the house no matter how long you were going to be gone; when you came home you would immediately say "Hi Brat" when you walked in the door; you teasing me, hearing your great one liners and the nick names you use to call me; I would catch you just looking at me for no reason (at the time that would drive me crazy) but sure miss it now. There are so many more that made up our daily life (but hard to remember and write down through the tears)that made me feel special, loved, adored and wanted. I would give anything to have all that back, to hear your voice, see your face, feel your touch, but all I can do now is love you with all my heart, miss you with all my heart and soul and hope that I will see you again someday.
I was hoping that moving closer to your girls and my family would make things easier and I would feel less lonely and mean something to someone and in some ways it has, but you are not here and I guess, even though it's been 3 years, it's still too soon to feel from others the love and comfort that I felt from you. I know you would love the new place and that you would be happy that I'm closer to family and in a safer environment, but I really wish you could be here"
I sure do miss him!!