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Everything posted by Polly

  1. Just wanted to update about my daughter. It has been 2 months since her car accident. She spent 3 weeks in the hospital. When she was released I had to take a leave of absence from work to take care of her without pay. Ended up being out of work for 5 weeks. I went back to work this week. She is slowly getting better. Today she seen the surgeon. He said she could start driving again but still can not go back to work. She is doing good and walks with a cane now. She wants so bad to get another car. I'm shocked that she is not afraid to drive again.
  2. Tom, No, you haven't lost it. I think that is great. I have been saying that Richard must have brought Bill into my life. I swear sometimes he will say something and I'm like, OMG! I swear it is the exact thing Richard would have said. Bill also lost his girlfriend of 20 years. Although things are on hold with us right now. My youngest, who is 18 and just graduated from high school was in a bad car accident on July 7. She never was thrilled that I was dating Bill. Anyway, I told Bill we had to take a break because right now my daughter needs me to take care of her.
  3. I'm so sorry you are going through this alone. I understand the smoking thing. The patch just isn't the same. Hoping you are out of there soon.
  4. Kay, They would probably let her use the wheelchair from the rehab. For Nicole, the rehab at the hospital ordered hers and the one handed walker and had it there before she went home. Yes, Nicole was in excruciating pain with pt in the beginning. It would make me nauseous to watch it. They also had a list of other things that she needed to have before she came home. The biggest thing was a ramp to get her in and out of the house. Thankfully my son-in-law took care of that for me. Financially, I have no clue what to say. I'm kind of in the same situation as far as that goes.
  5. Hugs to everyone!!! It seems we are all going through some tough times on top of our grief. Nicole came home from the hospital on July 27. I had to take an unpaid leave of absence from work. That is a really scary thing to do when you are the only one that is paying the bills. I had no choice. My daughter needs me and can't really use her whole left side of her body. To see her in the pain she in at times makes me nauseous. There are times that she gets so angry and frustrated. She hates not being independent. I would too. She is my mini-me. Then there is the whole situation with the guy I was dating and also my best friend. A week after Nicole's accident, I told him that I needed space. He was very hurt and upset. I feel really bad about that situation. I haven't really talked to him since. I just knew that my main focus had to be my daughter. She has always struggled with the fact that I was seeing him. She hasn't asked me why he hasn't been around. He was there with me the night we got the call about the accident and was there with me at the hospital. I just don't want to upset her and make her feel uncomfortable right now. At the same time...….I really miss him. I have no idea if we will even get back together. I keep holding out hope that we will.
  6. Fed ex?!?!?! omg, that is just crazy! and to your work not to your house? wow! Yes, I think I was in survival mode when I told him I needed space. I knew I couldn't handle anymore than just Nicole. Well she has been home for 10 days. Some days were so bad. One night she was in so much pain that it made me nauseous. A few times she has been so angry and frustrated. She is very independent like me and hates not being able to do things for herself. She still really cant walk. She has a one handed walker that she uses. It's a struggle just to get to her bathroom which is probably no more than 12 steps away. I took her out this evening to get something to eat and we stopped for ice cream before we came home. That pretty much wore her out. We have a busy week ahead. Tues we see the surgeon. Wed the neurologist and Thursday is PT. I'm hoping that she is mobile enough that I can go back to work in the next few weeks. Even if it's just a few hours a day.
  7. Kay, So sorry to hear about your sister. Wow, on them trying to cancel the surgery. That is crazy!!! I'm glad you stepped up and put your foot down. So everything went good with the surgery? Nicole's first pt appointment was this morning at 8am!!! What a nightmare to get there at that time. First off we got up at 6am. Neither one of us are morning people. We were running a little late leaving. We should have left at 7:15am. Then when we got to the highway it was a parking lot. At this point I knew we were going to be late. I had Nicole call them and tell them the situation. They were nice about and said they would still see her. Next appt. is on Friday but I made sure it was not another 8am appt. it's at 930am. I feel horrible about hurting him again. We are so good together. I guess in time we will see.
  8. Nicole came home last Friday. I did have to take a leave of absence. She can not walk. My son-in-law came over and build a ramp for me. This has been very hard for me emotionally. So much so that a little over 2 weeks ago I told Bill that I needed space. I haven't talked to him except for a few messages when he would ask how I or Nicole was doing. I have no clue if I will work things out with him. I know I have hurt him over and over. It's just so hard. I know right now my main focus is Nicole. I guess if it's meant to be it will be.
  9. Katie, I'm so sorry. I really have no words. And I agree with Marg.....you already are good enough.
  10. thanks Marg. the police officer and also the tow truck driver both said they don't know how she survived.
  11. Definitely going through hell right now. My baby girl who is 18 and just graduated from high school was in a bad car accident on July 7. She is still in the hospital. Going through this without Richard is so hard. She is pretty banged up on her left side. Broken femur, broken upper arm, broken hip, tailbone and groin area. She had a rod put in her femur and a plate in her upper arm. In the past almost 2 weeks she tells me she just wants her dad. She has a long ways to go for recovery.
  12. No they haven't even mentioned the disability. But I was wondering if that was possible. I will call the care worker. She had surgery on Sunday morning. They put a rod in her femur. And a plate in her upper arm.
  13. ohhhhhh, I swear I could have wrote this. I also think that Richard had something to do with me meeting Bill. Sometimes he will say or do something and I just stop dead in my tracks and swear it was Richard.
  14. Thanks Marty and Kay. Yes, I think they got all the glass out of her eye. No, she doesn't have any brain injuries. I have my older daughter and Nicole's best friend have been staying with me at the hospital. We have been taking turns staying over night with her. I took off work all this week. Supposed to go back next Tuesday. I will have to take a leave of absence if she needs help once she is home. Can't afford to do that but I will do whatever I have to do. She is my baby. No one else was in the car with her. She was following a new boyfriend, as in that was their first date. She is not really sure what happened. She hit a tree then went airborne and hit the telephone pole. The boyfriend saw it and called 911. He stayed with her until help got there.
  15. just wanted to let you know that Nicole was in a really bad car accident on Sat night. Not sure how she survived. She broke her femur, upper arm and 3 places in her pelvis. She has cuts all over her face and had glass in her eye.
  16. I believe there is a plan. I don't think Rich was happy about it though. I know he didn't want to leave me. I also believe he had something to do with me meeting Bill. Bill is so much like Richard. Sometimes it really freaks me out.
  17. Nicole and I got back from our Florida vacation to Disney and Daytona Beach on Sunday. We had a really good time. We both didn't want to come back home. She was born there and I lived there for 8 years. She asked if we could just stay and send for our cats. LOL! It was nice to spend that time with her. no stress or worries. Daytona Beach was a little hard for me. The last we were there Richard was with us.
  18. I have and yes, it's really hard. I remember my best friend asking a few months after Richard died if I thought I would ever date again. I remember I told her that I didn't think so. I told her that Richard was so good to me that I didn't think anyone could treat me the same way. Little did I know that 1 year later I did meet someone. We met at a grief support group. He lost his girlfriend of 20 years. We have a lot in common. We started out just being friends. We would go bowling once a week. As time went on we both had feelings for each other. So we started dating. We both struggled with this. My youngest daughter who was 17 at the time really hated that I was dating. There were many times in the past year and a half that I said I couldn't do this. There were 2 times that I broke up with him for a month each time. I finally realized that it was ok to love again. I love that we both can talk about our loved ones and it is ok. My daughter is just now finally being ok with it, for the most part.
  19. My sister came for a short visit on my birthday (April 4). I scheduled a private session with a medium on Thursday, April 5 for us. I really believe they can communicate with them. The first thing he said to me was Happy Birthday. He said that he lets me know he is with me through my cell phone. I was like omg! When I go to bed at night not every night, but randomly, my cell phone will vibrate and light up like I got a text message. I will look and nothing. Some nights this happens a few times in a row. I usually just say something like, Richard! then tell him good night and that I love him. There were a lot of other things that came up and I was like omg!!!!! There is no way anyone would have known these things except for Richard and I.
  20. Exactly what I was thinking. I can't cut him out of my life. I thought I could and thought I was ok with it. I was wrong. Being friends and taking things slow seems the best for now. Oh and as far as my daughter. I think she is growing up. She has been more understanding. Before Bill and I broke up the last time, she was trying to be nice to him.
  21. thanks Kay. I had a really tough weekend. Lots of tears. Lots of thinking. A lot of alone time. It got really bad on Easter. I worked 6am-3pm and came home to an empty house. My daughter went with her boyfriend to his aunts house. After a couple of hours of crying I realized that I wasn't just upset that Richard wasn't here. I was also really missing and needing Bill. Yes, he drives me crazy at times, but he has the kindest heart just like Richard. He would do anything for me, just like Richard. He would never intentionally hurt me or cheat on me, just like Richard. How can I not let him in my life? So on Monday, it was his birthday. I called him to wish him a Happy Birthday. I asked him if he would meet me at the bowling alley. We used to go bowling at least a week on nights that it was $1 a game. He said yes. It felt right and we had a really good time. I told him that we had to take things slow. My head is really messed up with all of this but we are so good for each other. He totally understands because he lost his girlfriend of 20 years. Yes, I'm really excited about this trip. I was so hesitant about doing it but my best friend convinced me that I should just do it. This will probably be our last vacation together so going to do it good. She is already talking about moving out on her own. I'm sure she will because she is my mini-me. I left home a couple weeks after I graduated.
  22. OMG Mitch and Kay!!!! I worked 6am-3pm on Easter then came home to an empty house. Sat here and cried for hours. Guess that was better than what you both went through.
  23. Here is an update with what is going on. I started dating Bill again before Christmas. We would go out but he wasn't spending the night here. That was just too much for my daughter that is still living here. Things seemed to be going ok. Then at the end of February, I broke up with him again. I just felt like I needed some space. I was feeling smothered. I just felt like maybe I needed some time to myself. We really didn't even talk for about a month. Last week I did call him. We talked for about 2 hours. I told him that I still wanted to be friends but I couldn't promise him anything else. You see, we have a lot in common. We like the same things. We talk to each other about everything. He told me that he would rather be friends that not have me in his life. That really meant a lot to me. These past few months have been good with me and my girls. My youngest has actually been talking to me about things. She even shocked me a few weeks ago when she asked me if I had talked to Bill. I was honest with her and told her that I had only texted with him at that time. I told her that we were still friends and that for now that is all it's going to be with him. So my youngest only has a little over 2 months until she graduates from high school. I have a big trip planned for her and I in June. I'm taking to her to Disney as her graduation present. We are going to drive there. It's about a 17 hour drive. We are going to spend 6 nights on property and do each park plus the water parks. Then we are going to spend 2 nights at the beach before heading home. I think this will be a trip for good memories for us. I'm excited about this. I'm sure Richard would be so proud.
  24. Calopumi, Thanks for sharing. I do know it's hard for my kids to see me with someone else. Heck, it's hard for me to be with someone else too.
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