Polly

The beach is my favorite place. I'm heading there myself on Sat. Gracie is adorable. Enjoy your time at the beach.

Yes. I was tired when I wrote that. For the past several years Rich has taken us to this big truck show and they have monster trucks. My favorite. Nicole and I are going on Saturday.

Lots of emotions going on in my head right now. It's been 8 months since Rich has passed. It seems like yesterday but also seems so long ago. My 16 year old daughter has been pushing me to go through things in the house. We have been going through things in the basement. (that was his man cave). We are getting rid of a bunch of stuff. My daughter told me that we can't do anything with his train table. She wants to leave it as it is. So for now...it stays as it is. We have spent so much time in the basement that I have let the main part of the house go. We are leaving on Thursday morning to go visit my family that lives 4 hours away. So tonight after work I spent hours trying to clean and get laundry washed. I'm exhausted. I still need to take care of the bills and clean my bedroom after work tomorrow and pack. We are staying with my sister and leaving her house on Sat morning to go to the truck that Rich has taken me to for the past several years. I know it's going to be hard to go but I know he would want me to go. Then the following Sat, we leave for the beach. That is going to be really hard too. Also my step son that I was worried about because he hasn't been coming by and keeping up with cutting my grass like he told me he would, texted me earlier today. He told me that he hasn't forgot about me. He came over this evening and cut the grass. After he was done he came in and talked to me. He is going to come over tomorrow and help me get this stuff down to the end of the driveway for the trash man. I think I just worry to much. Rich's son is so much like him. I love that. When we were texting back and forth earlier, I swear one of his replies is exactly what Richard would have said. It made me laugh. I miss him so much. He always had a way of saying or doing things that kept us laughing.

HUGS!!!!! Seeing how it's after midnight, today is 8 months for me. I also have been feeling so alone lately.

Yes, I'll have to try better next year. I worked today. Came home and worked on cleaning up the basement. Trash man is going to love me this week. making progress with the clean up. Although I still have a lot more to do.

My sister lost her husband over 6 years ago and it's not any easier for her. It will be 8 months for me in 3 days. Not many people ask how i'm doing anymore. Rich's son has stopped coming over to check on me. I think that hurts me the most. We both said we would be there for each other and help each other get through this. Maybe he is just struggling with this too. I really just need to talk to him.

Butch, I was just going to post the same thing. I am so lonely. My daughter has been at her friends house since last night. She isn't home yet. I hate being here by myself. This is awful.

oh yes, home-hell. I hate it. I also used to hurry home from where ever I was because I loved spending time with Rich. Now I pull into the garage and sadness just takes over. Tonight is really bad because my daughter went to a friends house for the night. I also have lost all motivation. My daughter actually yelled at me the other day because she wants to get the basement cleaned up and I just sit here and can't move. She has been pushing me to get this done. The basement was Rich's man cave and also storage. So for the past few days we have been trying to go through things and also clean as we go. There are some things that I'm keeping only because I just can't part with them. Also Rich loved trains and has a platform set up that he was working on. My daughter told me that it has to stay.

I had the same thing happen to me shortly after my dad died. He lives 4 away and I went home to visit. As we were leaving the cemetery this butterfly was flying right in front of my windshield. It stayed there for a few minutes and it never hit the windshield as I was driving. I wondered if it was my dad.

Robin, What you are feeling is normal. Next week will be 8 months for me. In the beginning I used to think I was losing my mind. I still have trouble getting myself moving to do things. I just sit here and do nothing when I have so many things that need to be done. My 16 year old daughter yelled at me the other day for this. I know she was just trying to help me. We both hate this new life. My 24 year old step son doesn't come check on my anymore. I think it's just too hard for him to come over here. That hurts me but I do understand. He will come over if I ask him to though.

Hi Sue. I know what you mean. I read here a lot but have trouble finding the words to reply sometimes. I want to but just can't seem to get my thoughts down.

I agree Mitch. Everyday is rough. Weekends aren't worse than any other day. Mostly because I have always worked weekends. What is going to be hard for me is in 2 weeks when my daughter and I go to the truck show. Rich, Nicole and I started going to this truck show about 5 years ago. It's an hour and half drive to it. We always would go on Saturday because that is the day they have the monster trucks show in the afternoon as well as the evening. We would go early so we could see the early show. Rich and Nicole would go for me. I'm the biggest monster truck fanatic. I decided that we are still going this year. Rich wouldn't want me to not go. He knows how much I enjoy that day.

I have 1.5 acres. I finally after 2 and half weeks decided to just text my step son. I asked him if he was going to mow soon because my yard looked like a jungle. He lives in the house on the main road and I live behind him on the side road. He told me he would do it this weekend. But then he came tonight and did it.

oh marg! hang in there!!!! You will get through this.

I have 10 cats! Yes, I'm the cat lady. Rich loved the cats. He would talk to them all the time. They would follow him every where he went. Now I have to take care of them by myself. Well my 16 year old daughter helps a little bit. Well my step son still hasn't cut my grass. It's been 2 weeks. I'm not sure why. He lives on the main road and my house is on the side road behind his mom's house. When I asked him months ago to show me how to use the lawnmower he told me not to worry that he would take care of it. But now all of a sudden he hasn't. My lawn looks like a jungle. I just don't know what to do about it. guess i'm going to have to either text him tomorrow to see what he says or find someone else to help me. or try to figure it out on my own. it's a big lawnmower. it's called the tank. I'm kind of hurt that he hasn't been over or let me know why he hasn't cut the grass.

HUGS to you Kay!!!!

I've been sitting here crying. My daughter is over at her friends house for the night. I had to work tonight and came home to an empty house. This is also the 1st Father's day without Rich being here. I also don't have my dad as he has been gone for 2 years. Not sure what is going on with my step-son, he hasn't cut the grass in 2weeks. it's a jungle out there. I think it's just so hard for him to come over here. If he doesn't cut the grass tomorrow I might have to try to figure out how to do it myself.

Terri, That's funny. I have a big orange cat named Frankie as well. My husband named him. We also at times call him Frankenstein. You got this on the moving of the tv.

that is beautiful.....and it made me cry.

rdownes, I'm sorry for your loss. It has been 7 months since I lost my husband. I still feel empty, alone and miss him so much. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I just take it day by day or on bad days minute by minute. Some days are better than others.

Bill, I know that must of been hard to go back to that hospital. I have trouble just driving by the hospitals Richard was in. I avoid them if possible.

Hugs to you Kay! Rich and I were only married 7 years when he died. It was also 1 month before the 10 year mark when I moved to PA to be with him. We also had a reclining love seat. When you find that once in a lifetime kind of love, it doesn't matter how long you were together. It just hurts so much.

It's been awhile since I've posted. Yesterday was 7 months that Rich has been gone. Really having a hard time. I feel like I can't get anything done. I sit down and just can't seem to make myself get up and do the things that I need to do. Then I get mad at myself for not getting things done. I have so much going through my mind all the time. I just miss being able to talk to Rich about everything. I do have to say that I'm very thankful for my 16 year old daughter. She has been helping so much around the house without me even asking her to. 7 months ago it was a struggle to even to get her to clean her own bedroom. So my question is.....is it just me or do you all have trouble getting normal stuff done? Some days I can get myself going but most of the time I can't.

ohhhhh how I know about the legal stuff. Dealing with a lot of that right now. Not only Rich's stuff but also Rich's uncle's stuff. His uncle didn't have a wife or children so the farm and everything went to the nieces and nephews. I hate how Rich's brothers and sisters are acting. Well the greedy ones. It is a nightmare and now that Rich is gone, I'm kind of stuck in the middle of all of this. Worst part is that the greedy ones live on both sides of me. Death sometimes brings out the worst in people. or maybe it just shows their true colors. IDK. I just don't like it.

Oh yes, hindsight is a terrible thing. I torture myself with that lately. I think back and wonder why I didn't catch on to what was happening in the months before. The thing is both Rich and I had/have psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis. So it wasn't uncommon for his back to hurt. It wasn't uncommon for blood work to be out of whack. Then I think about 2 years before Rich died. He was an alcoholic. It got so bad that on my daughters 14th birthday, I ended spending the night in the ER with him. He had pancreatitis. He spent a week in the hospital and I thought I might lose him. When he came home from the hospital we had a talk and he knew he could never drink again if he wanted to live. He was determined and never had another drink. He was so proud of himself and I loved the sober Rich.