We lost my brother in March 2003. He was 33 years old. He was diagnosed with AML Leukemia in January and 2 months later he was gone. He left behind a wife and 3 girls under 7. My sister-in-law and nieces moved back to her home state which is over 1700 miles away. Despite the 13 year age difference, my brother and I were very close. He lived with us for several years while he was in high school (due to a divorce situation). I am having a hard time right now because his birthday just passed and of course the holidays are coming. I thought I was doing better, but I found this weekend that everything just came at me. I am tired of the fact that "Life Goes On". I realize that it does, but sometimes I just get mad at that fact. My head knows how things must be, but my heart is not accepting. Even now - sometimes the tears just start. My husband says that I just can’t let things go. I guess I should add that I also lost my sister 9 years ago. She was 32 and died suddenly of an aneurysm. She also left 3 children. I was mad at the world when we lost her. I got through the first few years because of the anger and the need to be strong for my own children. It took some counseling to deal with her death. With the loss of my brother, I just find myself hurting and not able to process through the grief as I suppose I should. I feel guilty for enjoying life and just flat miss him. Sapphire
