Clematis

Hi Autumn,

Yeah, going to Prescott is a trigger. One of the worst ones for a long time was Wal-Mart, and I had the hardest time figuring out why because we had not been there that many times. Finally I realized that so many of the times I was there alone over the years I was thinking about him and looking for something that would help him, amuse him, make him happy or save his life. After he died, none of those things were an option - there was no amusing him, helping him, or saving him because he was dead. After I figured out what the charge was behind the trigger, it got a lot better.

I am so glad - thank you for telling me!

I am so happy that you have some of my work and that you love it! Do you have the prickly pear? And I think you have the one of the roses that are yellow in the middle and orange at the outside? I was so enchanted with that rosebush, but it was such a challenge to paint because yellow is a light color and the yellow part is in the middle, where it is generally in the shadows and darker. There is something magical about those roses that I was trying to portray-like they are glowing from their centers. I hope you feel that from them. Anyway, I am very pleased that you are happy with them.

How are you feeling today?

The photo is from about two years ago, and it is the picture from our PetPartners ID card. Lena Horne was very light, but was considered to be black, even though she was partly of european descent and also partly native american. Anyway it was more difficult for her to get work, and an inconvenience, because since she was black she might not be able to eat at the same restaurant or stay at the same hotel as the others working on a movie or a music tour. 

Lena the cat, is actually not all black either. Her fur is a mousy grey with black on the ends, but she sure looks black!

It is has also been rainy and cloudy here, but I have been in AZ so long it always thrills me to see clouds, and even more so when it rains.

No, my ex was not an Indian; he was white, but had figured out that if he got permission to erect his teepee on someone's land he wouldn't have to pay rent or utilities, and therefore he wouldn't have to work very much or very hard. He really wanted someone to support him, someone he could also boss around. In some ways he was charming and lovable, but he was not a grownup and not headed in that direction either. I loved him but he was not a good candidate for a husband or life partner-at least not for me.

You know, I don't know her very well. I think she is in her 60's, she has some health problems and I don't know what all is going on in her life. I don't think things are good at home. I figure that if her cat gives her great solace and she feels so strongly about it, it's ok. She really really loves that cat. Animals can love us unconditionally in a way that is sometimes unmatched by the people in our lives. I was married many years ago to a man who was very selfish and didn't want to grow up. He wanted to play and smoke dope. He wanted me to work and take care of him and take care of the house and everything else. At some point he decided he wanted to quit his job-which most would consider a dream job, sell the house, and have us move into a teepee (for real-he had one). He actually thought I should have children and we'd all live in the teepee. I left and never regretted it. I thought I could take better care of myself-and I have. Had I stayed with him I would have been in for a rough road, especially if I had children with him. I never remarried or had children; that's just the way things went. Because I work with people, I have heard a lot of stories from women who ended up in much worse situations than I was in, and could never find a way out. Anyway, Lena has been a lot better for me than my ex-husband...a great cat is better than a human who isn't right for you...

I know quite a number of people who would say that about their cats or their dogs. When my dad was alive sometimes I felt like he was my best friend, and sometimes I felt like it was Lena. A relationship with a cat is different than a relationship with a person...in some ways it's better. It's certainly less complex. I know a woman (who is married) who said to me one day, "Who knew that the love of my life would be a cat?" and she is absolutely serious...

So Athos, how do you like my new alias? I really thought about it after you wrote me this and I realized that it  (AloneAndNost) is not a good display name. However, when I started that is really how I felt. Now I realize that I am not lost or alone, and so I asked Marty to change my user name to Clematis, which is  one of my favorite flowers and does indicate my path. I have painted this flower in the past, and I will return to my own home where my beloved Clematis (and other flowers) live, after I have gotten things cleared out. So now I can use my Clematis name to help me remember where I have been and where I am going.

How are you doing, Athos? I hope you are doing ok and that you stick with the group. I believe it really can help! It has surely helped me...Below is a painting of a Clematis I did last summer and a photo I took last night when it was almost dark.

Anyway, thanks for your help-your question to me was really helpful to me!

Yes! I don't feel lost or alone, and I feel like I may be ok going back to my own home where my beloved Clematis plants have just begun blooming. Clematis plants like to have their head in the sun and their feet in the shade...

Well, I don't feel nearly as lot or alone as I did when I chose my user name, but I'm not sure if I can change it. 

There is something to breed and color affecting the temperament and personality of cats. They talk about "Laid back blacks" an that Tortoise shell cats have "tortitude" because they are known for attitude. My cat Lena has no interest in catnip-a lot of cats don't

I am so happy that Maury is settling in-and has a name! That is tremendous! Black cats are the best, I think-mellow, sweet, friendly, and brave. Orange cats seem to be a little more assertive than blacks, and they often are more active, especially when they are young. Orange cate often have interesting personalities, and can look rather leonine. They are cool too!

If I had to get another cat due to some disaster in life, I would probably get another black one because of the typical mellowness. I never saw Lena jump onto the counter until very recently-I thought she figured it was too much work when I was obviously willing to serve her at the pet dinette set on the floor. Then one day my friend Bonita was in the kitchen and there was Lena on the counter next to Bonita, even though Bonita definitely does not allow her cat Luna on the counter at her house. What the heck?!?!? Who knows what lurks in the mind of a cat?

I am so sorry about Bentley-that must be so difficult to know that he is on borrowed time. Just imagining the anguish is painful. I love Lena so much-I cannot even imagine losing her, although I am very likely to outlive her.

I had cats when I was younger, but became extremely allergic and asthmatic to cats and had to find my two cats new homes. When I said good-bye to my cat Mitten, I was devastated because I didn't think I would ever have a pet again. I would think I saw her out of the corner of my eye for years, and the sight of a pet store never stopped making me feel sad.

But then I moved from polluted Tucson to a small town with clean air, and also had years of allergy shots. I was doing Twitter as a volunteer for the local humane society, sprucing up photos to make pets look more appealing-and adoptable. One day I was looking at local HSS pets to pick one or two to promote, I saw Lena's picture on the screen. I just knew she was my cat and I had to go get her.

I knew in the 15 years since I said goodbye to Mitten that my cat allergy had improved, but I had no idea how much. It was definitely a risk, but without even thinking, I grabbed my car keys and set off to adopt her. I was a little worried in the first few days together, but it was fine. When I realized that I was actually going to be able to keep this marvelous animal and live with her, I was so ecstatic I wanted to share it-and her-with the world. That was the start and the core of how she became a therapy cat. And now, I am her primary client. I need a lot of therapy...