ousontmesamis

Lori, I can't wait to hear what happens too. shell, that woman is definitely freakish yet interesting. I tell my mom every now and then about that dream I had of her dad, my grandfather, where he tells me it's his time to go and he asked me to take care of my mom. I had this dream before we had found out of his actual death but she believes that there is nothing to the dream. What do you guys think?

I'm glad to be posting here again. I've missed you guys and your support. I'm just so busy with school. I started taking Italian and that's been a headache. But, I really like the instructor. She makes the class a whole lot of fun. She's so cute with her italian accent. I would have never guessed she was italian with her having blond hair and blue eyes. Maylissa, I think I had posted this before. It was either a vision or a dream I had about my cat where I was seeing him going under a mobile home, laying himself down and going to sleep. I just had a feeling he had passed at that moment long before I had started getting worried when he didn't come home after three days. He was never away from home for more than two days. I had that vision eight hours after he went outside. I have had dreams of him every now and then. He looks happy in each and every one of them. He sees me and comes running up to me with his loud roaring meows just as he had usually done when he was alive. He never liked any other cats but he loved people. One time, he stood up to a golden retriever and the dog went running. He would go up to anyone hoping they'd pet him. I suppose he was brave or naive. Yep, that was Sam. shell, The Psychic challenge. I've been wondering myself. It feels a bit scripted to me. Who knows. I like that one middle aged lady with the dark hair. She said something once about how she does better with the dead than with the living. She seems a bit kooky but interesting. She made it to the next round anyway. I do have to believe in the psychic stuff because I have had a few psychic experiences of my own. I have heard that some people who have had tragic trauma events in their lives that their senses become heightened. I can attest to that theory. I've had some traumas of my own and I've noticed my senses are heightened like they never were before. I sense things like danger, or that somethings not right and even presences that can't be seen. To answer your question, yes, I do believe that they possess those abilities but I also feel that it is a bit scripted for entertainment.

I've joined Lisa Williams' email list. I'll see how that goes. There's a drawing to win free tickets to get a reading by her. Desert Bob, I'm not in Chicago, but there is an Induced After Death Communications therapist in my town. I'm just waiting for him to get back to me. It's strange how my deceased friend's grandma, mother and I are all having the same dreams. In our dreams, he's calling us on the phone, he sounds incoherent - kind of ghostly like in the distance. From what I can make out in my dreams is that he's asking me to hang out with him Hey, shell! It's been a while. Maylissa, you have had experiences with other losses of loved one's?

I was wondering if anyone has watched that Lisa WIliams show on Lifetime. And, if so, I'd like to know what you think about her. I feel this whole talking-with-the-dead stuff is just actors acting a part on a stage. On the other hand, I would like this to be true. I would like to be able to say my final goodbyes to my best friend and my other friends who had passed.

Maylissa Thank you for the links to those sites! I did post him on http://www.petharbor.com. The more sites he's on, the better the chance of his coming home.

Sam has a habit of sneaking out but he always comes home the next day. Three and a half weeks have gone by and he hasn't come home yet. Neighbors say that there are coyotes in my area, I hope his journey didn't end that way. [attachmentid=128]

It's been a long time Star and shell! How have you all been? Welcome Janine! Star, I'm bipolar and my grieving, I believe, is affecting my disorder. I've been in nothing but a depressive state. I think my meds are working other wise I wouldn't be around to be posting on here. Well, my advisor is in her mid 20's so I guess I'll just consider the source. Now, I have another loss. I haven't seen my cat, Sam, since he snuck out of our home (his and mine) three and a half weeks ago. Neighbors say there are coyotes around here; I don't want to think he went that way. He's never been gone this long. I've done everything trying to find him and no luck. I can only think of one thing and that one thing is, is that he crossed over to the other side into the afterlife. Rest his gentle soul. I'd just like to see him and hold him one last time so I can let him know I'll always love him and to be able to get to say goodbye. [attachmentid=127] I have been going to grief support groups and meeting other grievers and getting support with them so they have been helpful. The facilitator of one of the grief groups I've been going to has recently lost her mother so she's in the same boat as we are so she knows exactly what we're going through and how we're feeling. We all had a group hug after the meeting. Does anyone here in this forum feel better being around other grievers? We discussed in our group this week the way that the non-grievers treat us. Does anyone feel that people (strangers you pass by on the street, people you work with, etc) seem more rude and mean than usual since your loss? Maybe grieving just makes one more sensitive to these things. An old friend of mine, whom I haven't seen in years, had recently got back in touch with me to inform me of his mother's passing. Take care of yourselves!

I just have to ask this. I'm curious to know if what my recently reassigned academic advisor had to say to me was inappropriate. She said that I'm making excuses using my friends' deaths as excuses for my mediocre grades of (A-, B, and C) for the past fall semester and for my dropping this semester. She's the one who had said that my grades are mediocre and a GPA of 2.89 was poor and unacceptable. I was just telling her what I was going through then and what led to my dropping this semester. I didn't feel I was making excuses. All I know is that the loss of my friends is an unbearable pain. What she had to say, it was something I just didn't need to hear. I don't know. Was I making excuses?

What a kicker this day was. I've decided never to return to UW ever again. My previous academic advisor who had replaced my initial academic advisor who had the multiple strokes was replaced a few weeks ago and the new one is just as worse, if not more. I don't know maybe she's right. She told me to get my act together, to pull up my grades, that my friends' deaths are in the past, to get over it and that enough time has past that there is no excuse for letting it affect me i'll finish this post later.

Hi shell, Paul S! Welcome AnnC! My mom's diabetic so I'm getting ready to prepare for her death. She keeps saying she only has five years left. It's interesting how her doctor never tells her that. Ah well, all I'm doing these days is isolating myself away from everyone and the world. Is this a good sign? AnnC, wow, your story hits close to home. My best friend was gay and his girlfriend died after he died. I strongly believe her death was a suicide. Who dries clothes in the oven and then goes to bed? First of all, who dries their clothes in the oven anyway. I applied to a summer study abroad program but I wasn't accepted into it although they are reconsidering. I'm just waiting right now for what they decide.

Hello all Hi Shell, Marty. Welcome, shelley and Paul. I've just read through everyone's posts here. I guess we're being too hard on ourselves but it's just too hard to deal with these losses, for me it is, anyway. I try and I'm out meeting people but when I'm with these others all I want is my best bud to hang out with and it just makes me more sad. I just wish I knew what is wrong with me. Paul, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I agree, these secondary losses do magnify the primary one. I just feel like I'm swimming in a sea of an ocean with no one throwing out a life preserver. Shelley, I'm sorry to hear that not only did you lose loved ones but also your home and possessions. I'm so glad that I have all you guys for support. Take care! shell, shelley, Paul, Marty ousontmesamis (where are my friends) P.S. I spoke on the phone with my (deceased) best bud's grandma the other day. She had just received his autopsy (nine months after his death) and the cause of death is listed as adverse drug interaction from all these psych meds that his doc prescribed. There were nine medications interacting against each other and at toxic (lethal) levels. I'm so distraught. It was something that could have been avoided, prevented. Something that just didn't have to be. I remember how my friend constantly told his doc about the side effects that he was experiencing from all those meds; his doctor mostly ignored it or brushed it off by telling him that he was just getting old and that it is what comes with a man of his age (he was 37 yrs old, for god sakes); the other thing he would tell him was that his body hasn't adjusted to the meds yet, that it would take some time for his body to adjust to them; the doc instructed him to continue taking them. So, in the mean time as he doing as the doc instructed, the physical health of his body was just getting worser and worser. I was witness to what those meds were doing to him and his body and for his doc to be so blind, careless, and oblivious is just deplorable.

shell Have you told your brother how you feel by what he says to you? I understand how your mother's erratic behavior bothers you. I grew up with a borderline mother and her verbally abusive behavior always hurt me. It still does to this day. It's hard not to take it personally. I know for me my mother meant every hurtful word she ever said. I'm just not sure of your reasons. My aunt came over for a visit the other day. I'm staying with my mom these days and she came to visit her. She said that there's nothing to be sad and depressed about my friends' passings and she saw no reason why I dropped this semester. She said I'm just weak. If they only could feel the pain I'm in and how bad I'm hurting. It just made me feel that she viewed my relationship with my friends as insignificant, not of much importance. I can't also believe that she said that she wasn't going to feel sorry for me. I thought to myself, WHAT! I'm not looking for pity, sympathy, empathy, or anyone to feel sorry for me. I don't know what to think or even say to that remark. Like I really want to be feeling this way. Take care, shell. Let me know how things are going with you. I just hope it gets better.

I dropped this semester and I have found online a few bereavement support groups. I'll check them out. I know I've said this before but I can't believe how insensitive people really are. "It was just a friend, get over it, you can always make new friends." I say to them, (please, forgive me, I mean not to offend anyone here in the forum) "yeah, you can always make a new brother or sister or some other family member who has dearly departed." There is disgust in the tone of my voice when I say it. Sure, I've lost other friends, not to death, but to some other reason and I was able to move on with my life unlike now. I made other friends but I still had my other living friends that I stayed in touch with. Maybe, it's because I never had a friend who died before. Maybe, it's because I never had a friend that I was really close to, that I really had a connection with, die. His death was unexpected which didn't leave me well prepared. His death has hit me the hardest than his girlfriend's death, my friend who had the stroke, and my other friend who was sent to a psych institution. It seems I have so much anger that I have never had before.

Marty and Shell, thank you for your kind support and resources. Shell, how are you dealing with your losses, what are you going through? They are still suggesting that I get it together and get involved with student organizations, and, all I've been doing this semester is snapping at instructors and classmates during class projects, the same as last semester. That will definitely win me new friends. This is the first that someone's death is affecting me this way. I have never felt these feelings before; it is all new to me. When does it get better? I have never felt this way when my grandparents died. There is also a lot of guilt that I have for not spending the time with my friend; I chose my studies over him. If I had been there then the paramedics would have been able to save him in time instead of his having to die alone and a real estate agent finding his body five days later. It's strange how he came to me in a dream telling me that it was his time to go, that he was going to a better place, that he was finally happy and free, and he told me not to be sad. It is also strange that I didn't see his face as he was saying those things to me; it was like I was seeing through his eyes the place that he was going to. This dream came to me on the day he died and it was before I found out he died. This wasn’t the first time I had a dream like this. The other time was when my grandpa died. I had that dream at the exact time he died. I just dismiss it as coincidence. How could it be a coincidence when I hadn’t expected their deaths. They weren’t dying or given a death sentence. So, it wasn’t expected. I should check out Sandy and Ocallah.

I don't know what to say, what to do, or where to go anymore. I have lost four very good friends within a 10 month time span - two to death, one to multiple strokes and the other is in a psych institution for the entirety of his life. They were all my good friends, friends I trusted, friends I confided in, friends I did things with; they were all I had, and, now, they are gone. I am lost, sad, alone, and as each and every day goes by I get lonelier and lonelier without them. It's being with people, being with strangers, being around my classmates which just makes me feel lonely, even lonelier and enraged. It makes me miss my friends; it just makes me want my friends even more. My friend with the stroke is out of state in a stroke home. My other friend that is in the psych institution his mind is so far gone that he can't recognize his friends and family anymore. And, there's no way to be with the dead. I get so angry when people (my college academic advisor, it was "Mich****" and now it is "P*" and whoever else) discount my losses by telling me to leave them (my friends) in the past, move on, and meet other people. The last loss of my losses was six months ago. How am I to get over something so fresh let alone the three other losses? Maybe, I'm just being a big baby or I'm just feeling sorry for myself, I don't know anymore. Meet other people, my god, what insensitive advice! People are turned off by me anyway, by my despondency. That was some pretty good advice, "Mich****" and "P*", to give me about meeting new people! In my one class, we had to work in pairs. So, then, this girl, "Kat**", pairs up with me but after some time she had started getting frustrated and fed up with me by my not being able to concentrate and focus that she suddenly stopped talking to me toward the end of the semester and she took up with another guy in the class. When it came to finals, in a hall of 200 seats, I looked around for "Kat**", I couldn't find her, so, then, I searched for my classmates. I finally found the familiar faces of my search so I sat in the far left of the row with them. Some minutes later I had looked up over at the far right of the next row and I see "Kat***" sitting next to "Ga***", the other guy in the class she had taken up with, I waved to her, she looked right through me as if she didn’t want me to have seen her, man, it just killed me. I wasn't able to concentrate on the exam all that was on my mind was why she had cast me aside the way she did. I’m trying to take people’s advice meeting other people; it’s just not working. I can’t bring myself to feel fine. I can’t bring myself to get out of feeling this great sadness, this grief, this loneliness, this big loss. I had met this other girl in my other class who is still grieving the death of her boyfriend some five years later. She moved back to her home state. Another loss for me. Am I just being self-centered, self-absorbed? I say this because all I have been doing is letting this grief become the center of my life; I’m not being there for the living, I keep to myself feeling nothing but sadness and self-pity.