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Thundar73

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About Thundar73

  • Birthday 06/14/1973

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    She was my mom
  • Date of Death
    4-15-2016
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    MA
  • Interests
    paranormal, pondering life, movies, music, computer games, my wife lol

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  1. I think out of the things they list, this is the truest in my situation: at others who have not lost what you have lost, who aren’t suffering; who are more fortunate than you and don’t even see it or appreciate it; who cannot understand what you are going through; who will go back to their lives as usual. So many people love their moms on Facebook & say nice things about them...but they don't get it, that one day they can't say those things to them on Facebook, or in person...Mother's Day I was completely off Facebook. Didn't want to see all the posts about their mothers.
  2. I'm back. I'm really having anger issues since my mom passed in April. I'm not mad at her, just angry in general. Like a short circuit in me. The only ones I've lashed out to was my oldest brother, & I've never lashed out at my oldest brother before. I know anger is one of the stages in grieving, but when does it go? I hate this stage. I rather be sad than mad & irritable.
  3. That's a good way to put it, I've told others they have to adjust to life without the deceased. Some says it gets easier, I HATE when they say that because that's the way to say it. It doesn't get easier, you're just adjusting to life as best you can without the people you lost.
  4. Someone once told me earlier today life isn't the same after a mother passes away, is this true? Things aren't the same now of course, but 5 years from now will things be different still?
  5. That's what I did, I left the group.
  6. On Facebook, all my in-laws have 1 group CHAT private message. It's where anyone on my wife's side of the family can say hi in an instant message on Facebook & everyone on her side of the family can see it. Today they brought up Mother's Day plans. I was so close to saying "Guys, respect my feelings on this matter, someone's mother just died 2 weeks ago." I felt angry & sad at the same time. I don't want that day to come so fast. She died too close to Mother's Day, died on the 15th, then 23 days later, Mother's Day, UGH!
  7. ty all for your advice, thank God for this site.
  8. I'm an old soul, as people have told me. I've accepted the things I can not change, like death of older relatives, parents, grandparents, etc. I ponder life, I knew what lay ahead, I knew not all people live until 100, & this isn't Neverland. I don't focus so much on the family member that isn't here, the missing, as I call it..."the empty chair" I don't dwell on that, I think of the memories when they were living, when they "occupied that chair" & the times we've shared together, look at pictures, videos, etc.
  9. As y'all know, my mom died this month on the 15th. I'm hardly crying though. My father cries big time, my 2 brothers have cried a lot, but I've hardly cried. Is it because there was no closure? Like a memorial service? I can type about her, her final moments, etc without crying or even getting choked up, but I loved her so much, I feel like I'm a bad son. I do feel very depressed, but I've hardly cried. I sometimes put on sad music & look at pictures of my mother to force cries out of me, but it doesn't work. Am I insane? I've lived across the country from my family since 1998, I only visited them one week every year, they live in the northwest, I live in the northeast...is it because I didn't see her a lot since 1998? I'm just trying to figure out why I'm not crying about this big loss in my life. I never cried that much when my sister died. I cried at the wake, got choked up at the service, got bummed out a lot, but I didn't cry. I cried every time I flew back west every time I visited my girlfriend/fiance, now wife. We'd hug & cry goodbyes at the airports. I got choked up when I was at home, cross the country from my girlfriend (it was a 2 year long distance relationship until I moved out here in '98, then married in 2000) at times. But really, I'm not that much of a crier....is that bad? I accepted my sister died, I accept my mother's gone & never will return, but I don't cry & I think I should be balling my eyes out.
  10. As you know, my mom died on the 15th, lung cancer, she was 74. Her dad lived until 91, he was a smoker, but quit later in life like my mom did...her mom smoked too...but quit also, later & lived until 93, & she was the most stressed out emotional sensitive always fighting with my grandfather kinda woman....but she did love her terriers right up until age 91.
  11. That's so odd Kay, I was thinking of typing something about cards first, but couldn't think up what you just said, so true.
  12. 1. Suicide is not the answer, you still have people who love you in this world, & imagine how sad they will be if you did it. 2. Did your bubbly mam have a funeral? Usually funerals sorta slap you in the face to tell you that they are really dead. My sister's wake did that to me. I didn't believe my 10 year old sister was dead until I saw her in the casket. That was a harsh reality check, & after that I refuse to look at anyone else in a casket. 1. Too morbid 2. I rather think images of them alive than looking at a bit of a different version of them in a coffin. My mom didn't have a funeral, but I know she's dead because my dad wouldn't be breaking down crying every time I call him, and he wouldn't hand the phone over to my mum after we talk, if she dead. So, I know she's dead. She's not in Italy or Mars or Barcelona or got hired by the CIA for a job in Afghanistan. My mother is gone, she's dead, and won't ever come back. She was my wind beneath my wings & I seriously think this government should focus on CANCER, than spending so much for conflicts & wars.
  13. Marg, I'm in no way a skeptic. I question some things & it's o.k. to question some things, but in no way am I a skeptic. I do believe in something, not nothingness. I believe that something is beyond our existence, a higher plane or 2, or 3. What makes me mad, are phonies. Some are on the t.v., hunting for ghosts. Ghost Adventures, for example, the host goes way too overboard in his emotions, the crew does to...they sound like bad actors from a found footage movie, like Paranormal Activity 5. It is these types of people that.... 1. Gives the whole paranormal thing a bad rap 2. They lessen the credibility of the paranormal, & that just makes me upset. I'm just very very hugely careful on what I read or watch, when it comes to the paranormal. If you ask me if there is anything I don't read much about, is mediums & psychic stories. There are fake ones & there are real ones. The fake ones hurt & tarnish, in my opinion, the real ones who are trying to get people to BELIEVE, they actually can talk to the dead. It's like fake ghost experiences, the fakes hurt & tarnish the field of parapsychology, & that's why I'm careful of what to believe. Does that explain it better?
  14. I heard a story once where a group of people were sitting in a room, & the psychic walks in & immediately points to this one person to tell them something about a deceased family member. Those kind of psychics I wanna see. The other kinds where they sit in front of you & you are alone with them & they ask you 800 questions & near half of what the psychic was thinking were misses, those types I don't trust.
  15. The mediums you guys see, do they know your name, number, any info on you?
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