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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

brs92

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    1
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Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Dad
  • Date of Death
    May 8th 2016
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

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  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Greensboro, NC

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  1. So it's been a pretty horrible year for me and my family. On April 10th my Dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 esophogeal cancer and given a month to live. He died on May 8th. It was a bit of a shock because prior to April my dad was completely healthy, he didn't really have any symptoms prior to his diagnosis except for some trouble swallowing a couple weeks before. My mom is doing ok especially since she just lost her mom 9 months prior, but I worry about her constantly. I am currently in medical school 8 hours away from my family, I'm actually at the school that my dad attended. I was hoping to practice with him once I finished school. I was also in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of a year at the time. He lives three hours away from my school. A couple weeks after the funeral I had to come back to school and it was really really hard for me especially because I had a bunch of exams to make up and I was alone. I had a panic attack the day I got back to school and my boyfriend tried to help me through it but there wasn't a lot he could do because he wasn't with me. I asked him if he could come visit me the next weekend because I needed some support, he wasn't gonna come at first and we had a few days of fighting about it but he eventually came. We had a nice weekend, but I felt like he was being distant. After that weekend I felt like he started calling me less and less and when we did talk I felt like he wasn't listening to me. I wanted to come visit him a couple weeks later and he told me he was too busy and I couldn't come. I got really upset after that and we had some heated discussion and he ended up breaking up with me because he had too much going on. After that I just completely fell a part. I couldn't understand why someone who loved me and even said he wanted to marry me couldn't support me when I was going through something so terrible. I spent a few days in mourning and then I decided to get out of my apartment. I ended up meeting some guy at a park and the next day we were on a date. He even came over to my apartment after. It was a nice time, but I sill upset about everything else. On Father's Day my ex contacted me to check in and wanting to get back together i think, but I told him about my date and he got really upset almost to the point where he was scaring me with what he would do. He has called me a few times since and he still wants to get back together possibly. Right now we are going no contact for a while. I just don't know what to do or think. I know I am not emotionally ok after just loosing my dad and I'm not sure if I should give someone a second chance that completely broke my heart. I need time alone, but it is just really hard being alone here. I have no friends or anyone to talk to except my mom, and I don't want to bother her because she is already going through enough.
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