My mommy just died on sunday. My brother sister & I were all in the room together with her talking about what else?? beauty salons & barbor shops! I was watching her but then noticed she stopped breathing! I was such a mess! I came from so far away & said to my sister the night before mommy was waiting for me to show up again before she died. i know it was true, but why was it me who had to discover her death?? Im so empty my tummy hurts & i feel lost. i loved my mommy but she was so hard she was so cold & she alwatys pushed me away. I feel like there was so much time wasted so much life wasted so much lost.i grieve so hard. My daddy died 8 years ago & it still hurts but doesnt feel as raw as my mother's death feels so raw right now- i feel sick, i feel cold. i feel lonely, i feel lost without my dady & mommy. 2many tears-
