Natalie

Thank you everyone for connect to me and reaching out to tell me about your experiences and how you've coped with grief. This is an amazing site and while I feel so sad about my dad's passing I am glad to have found love and compassion in unknown places. I spoke to a friend recently whose mother had passed when he was 14 and he tells me that it still affects him till today, in the silent moments or late at night, sometimes when you stumble upon their things. He told me that it will take years but live still moves on and griefing is a way to remember that person. He told me he dealt with his guilt and regret but going on with life doing things in honour for his mom or doing something his mom would have wanted to do or liked him to be. And I think it's a good way to work towards the forthcoming days. Thank you for comforting me while you guys are also griefing, i am so touched by it. KayC - I did write a letter as you suggested. It helped tons. Clematis - I read your story before I wrote your article and I felt like you were very much like my sister. you did your best for your dad and all you could and I know guilt will still hit us the same. I want to say that you did good and beyond anything he must have cherish all the memories he had with you the most. Marty - Thank you I'll read it up as soon as I am done with this text Mom's Angel - I wish i could give you a long deep hug, perhaps to fill that emptiness in our hearts for a little while. <3

I lost my dad a couple of days ago. I can't believe he's gone, I cannot accept it when i look at his face in the coffin, I wished so bad that he would wake up right now. He left us so suddenly and so soon. I wish i was a better daughter to him, I am just riddled with guilt and regret. I wish I could hold him one more time, I wish I could kiss him one last time, I wish I could tell him how much I love him and need him. That he cannot go and I need him. I wished i spent more time knowing my dad the year before, we drifted apart because he was into a sect/cult and i did not approve of his beliefs and we grew distant. I was angry with him. But i regret it so much, I wish I could undo it all and give him all my love. But I cannot do it anymore and he cannot hear me anymore. I am so consumed by my guilt and loss . I feel like I took my dad for granted that he would always be around for me to mend my mistakes. The months prior to his death he had a stroke and he was recovering, we connected little more but i felt i didn't do enough. Then he had a second stroke, I was away on a trip but I flew right back to see him, by then he wasn't really conscious or aware because of the impact on the brain. The last 2 weeks he was tied down on his bed because he kept trying to escape and scratching himself. I felt like he let go because he couldn't take how his life has turn out to be in the last two months. I feel guilty that i allowed that to happen, I felt guilty I didn't encourage him enough. I was listening to the song "The Scientist" by coldplay and I wish I could go back to the start. Please, someone tell me what can i do.