chloebetta

Thank you to those who responded! All of you have given me some interesting things to think about... I thought by now that I had already analyzed grief from every angle and perspective. How wrong I was! Who am I now and what is my purpose are questions I just can't seem to answer. In all of my analysis, I never included the effect of being a caregiver has had on me. I did get some pets. They helped me a lot. I even took up ice skating in old age! It helps a bit, but it's not the answer either. I've always loved gardening. My yard was really neglected since my mother became ill. Since her death, I swore to myself that I would really get out there and get everything together again. Well I start. I try. Then I always seem to give it up before I complete the project I started. I even get mad at myself, but I can't motivate myself enough to finish. I'm not suicidal, but I frequently ask myself why am I still alive?! What's the point of it all? Who cares?! I've considered group and therapist sessions, but I just can't see myself going through with it. I journal a lot... That helps but not enough. How can I learn who I am now and give my life some purpose?????

It has been 7 years this past August since my mother died. I still have not gotten over it. She lived with me all my life... I was her caregiver her last 10 years. I guess you could say I cope with it, but I still have some difficult days. My conclusion is that you never get over the loss, you just learn to live with it. However, living with it is not that easy every day... Still!!! I still get very depressed--no ambition, no energy, and very lonely. I've tried many different ways to improve myself, but nothing seems to work for very long. Am I weird??? Crazy??? I have no family worth mentioning... How can I improve myself: gain self esteem, self confidence, get back to how I once was before my loss? Any suggestions would be very appreciated!

I want to thank all who responded to my post. You have helped me! I did read the links you referred me to and they did help! I even ordered one of the books on one of the lists. I have considered bereavement group therapy, but the only one near me meets at the hospital where my mother died and I can't go there! Besides, I really don't think I'm into that kind of thing anyway. One of the articles talked about the second year of grief being different from the first,at times, even more difficult. It really is! I never thought of it from that perspective. Really, reading those articles helped--I know I am not going crazy! Despite my big loss, I don't want to be depressed and miserable the rest of my life! I used to feel guilty when I would think like that, but I don't anymore. I want to be able to understand and to deal with what I'm going through--to eventually find a new normal--a new identity and life! You are pointing me toward the right direction!!!

I lost my mother a year and a half ago...she was all I had! It's rough,but I've been getting through somehow. However,there are days when I can't get myself to do anything! I mean, I'll get up ok. Then I'll just sit and think about things and lose any motivation that I had. I get depressed, but I end up doing only the things I have to do to get by. But there are a lot of other things I planned on doing and I just can't get myself going. I'm probably not explaining this very well, but if you know what I mean, could you give me some suggestions to get me out of this depressed state? How can I get myself out of this slump? Please help! Any advice would be appreciated!