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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

ckoeppel

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Mother
  • Date of Death
    8/10/2106
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    SVS

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Snoqualmie, WA

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  1. Oh what a baby doll! I just love her eye patch and the pink around her nose. So so happy for you!
  2. I am so happy for you! Please post pics! Your situation with your new pet might be a case of over souling. Here is a video that explains that process: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNKlgaFDXE0 On another note, I am experiencing spirit visits from Ruby. Last night I was cooking dinner and sort of felt her near me. I looked down and saw her sweet face. Look how life like it is! I hope you can see it. The second photo was taken in our laundry room. She was watching me.
  3. So cute! You should get that for sure!
  4. Crossmateo, You hit the nail on the head about my daughter being jealous of our bond. She loved her but didn't like that Ruby was the center of my world when in fact all three of my kids were, one being Ruby. I want to get the ornament made. That is s great idea! I ran across this etsy site where you send multiple photos of your pet at different angles and they master an urn duplicating it. The seller is so good but it is pricey $320. I ordered a simple cremation ring made with Ruby's ashes. The stone is yellow to reflect the lullaby I sang to her "You are my sunshine." Also to help me with grief I am journaling about my feelings since I am having difficulty doing so with my family. I had a custom journal made. I have attached pictures of both.
  5. Thank you, Marty! Your post really makes me feel better. I believe I need to learn to grieve privately. It is obvious to me that my family doesn't understand the connection we had and that's okay, I suppose. My husband just said to me "It has been two months, you need to get over it." I just nodded my head and said, "It will take longer for me." I appreciate this group so much!
  6. Crossmateo, I don't think it would be strange at all to hang her stocking. I plan to do the exact same. Honestly, I still have Ruby's bed out in our bedroom where she slept. It was difficult to get rid of her crate and gate, but I couldn't part with her toys, clothes, or bed. I am suffering alone, too. I talk to Ruby and have so much proof of her spirit being with me. I have taken photos and shown the pictures to my family to provide proof. They see it but claim I had a mental breakdown and I am crazy. I just shared a pic with my youngest daughter today via text and she sent back a text stating "I have had enough of these crazy texts. Stop sending them and go get help." I am perfectly fine just suffering alone with no support, compassion, or love from anyone in my family. Of course I don't want to be patronized saying they see what I see, but they could be a little more gentle with their words and understand I am still grieving. It gives me personal peace to know her spirit is with me. It seems to me that we are two individuals that are exactly alike. We can lean on each other for support.
  7. Hi! I am still missing her everyday but I am seeing her spirit everywhere. I am happy you are seeing Princess's spirit, too! It isn't the same as holding them but at least they are with us. Ruby literally follows me from room to room. I have a few photos I can share with you. I feel like I am going crazy seeing her and talking to her, but it gives me peace. As I am sure it is the same for you, my life has changed drastically without her. Take photos of those spirit moments. It is so special we have this because many don't.
  8. I want to share this Facebook group I joined that might help you. It is called "Animal reincarnation - Animals Life Beyond Death: Pet Loss Answers & Hope." It is a group of people that recently lost pets with professionals who help with grief and other stuff. Brent Atwater is the lead. She is quirky but really helps make you understand. She offers podcasts, live question & answer shows, and she has a wonderful series of books. I just ordered one but all of her books are available on Amazon.
  9. Hi! I am just checking to see if you are doing okay after picking up Princess's ashes. I thought about you all day yesterday.
  10. This is such a wonderful suggestion.
  11. Crossmateo, Yes, I felt exactly the same way. Please try to have someone drive you. I honestly didn't think it would be as hard as it was because Ruby was coming home, but when I picked her ashes up it was super hard and I cried an ugly cry in front of a waiting room full of people. I am grateful I didn't drive because I clearly was in no shape to. When you get home you will feel a little better. Try to remember her ashes are only a fur suit, her sole is in heaven and is with you constantly. Keep talking to her to keep her spirit present. I will be thinking about you today. Hugs! ?? Cindy
  12. Reading the signs you hav experienced reassures me I am not losing my mind. I love the squirrel part of your story! Last night I woke up to go to the bathroom and when I got back In bed I smelled a strong scent of Ruby. We didn't allow her on our bed because it was tall and she suffered with IVDD so we didn't want her jumping off. Before we went to bed my husband always put her in bed for a bit and she would always lay on my side. I am confident the smell last night was her in bed on my side. Gives me so much peace to know she is still with me. I started seeing a face to face grief counselor yesterday. She gave me some clarity as to what happened those final days. She said when an animal is on its final journey they will do something memorable with you. Ruby never liked to sit on my lap or cuddle much. Two days before her passing she sat on my lap for over four hours. I attached a photo. She also said if an animal stares at you intently they are giving you a sign it is the end. Ruby did that and I even asked her if something was wrong. I struggled with my lack of emotion during the final three days. She told me after I told her the complete story that she thinks when I heard the vet say "euthanize" it threw me into sort of a shock but I believe it was disbelief. Ruby always pulled through everything and I just knew she would this time too. She said animals are aware they are dying 24-48 hours in advance. She said they will pull away or isolate themselves which is what Ruby did. She said they do that to prepare the owner. As far as my grieving and no one else is, she said grieve, cry, and do whatever makes me feel better because it could take days, weeks, or months. I pray for peace every night. I just hope her spirit doesn't fade over time. I hope everyday gets easier for both of us. ??
  13. Good morning, Kayc! Thank you for your comments. Every day is different with my grief. I think it is going to take a while for me to get through it. The hard part is getting people around me to understand. I sold Ruby's gate on Craigslist and I cried an ugly cry handing it over to the buyer. I am keeping her blanket, toys, and clothes but have decided to donate the rest to the animal shelter. I am having a sterling silver ring handmade with a stone combined with a teaspoon of her ashes. The band is an angel wing. I am also having an urn sculpted. They do an exact relica of your pet and I have decided to use a pic of her with her bone in her mouth. See attached. I have a question that might be silly. Do owls represent death or spirit? This morning I was woke up by a hooting and screeching owl on our roof. I have googled it and read multiple versions. I suppose a part of me hopes it is a spiritual symbol connected to Ruby. I hope all of you in our group have a wonderful weekend. Cindy
  14. Hi Marty, I agree completely about everyone grieving differently. I am a very emotional person and my husband isn't. I recognize that and just have to learn how to communicate effectively respecting his feelings too. My husband is a good person and loved Ruby just as much as I did. I am confident it is hard on him and I believe he handles his grief internally. I love this site and reading the posts. It certainly brings me some peace. Ruby had terrific care and I am so very grateful. They loved her and knew how important she was to me. The oncologist told me he used to work in Japan as a primary care vet. He said maybe 5 people out of 100 would actually follow through with a specialist recommendation. He told me I can be proud of well I cared for. Such a nice person with a very kind heart. I was blessed! Cindy
  15. Hi! I am still struggling. I cry less, but think about her constantly. I have been watching Grief Healing YouTube videos and praying a ton. Since I haven't been crying non-stop I have actually receive a few signs from her spirit. She loved to play in the backyard and loved when I was out there with her. I have dreaded going into the yard because of my grief and the sweet memories. Our patio furniture cover blew off in the backyard and I had no choice but to go get it. When I walked down the steps I noticed something pink in the area where she always sat in the sun. It was a single pink rose petal. Pink roses are my favorite and I think it was a sign from Ruby. Over the weekend I was cooking dinner and happened to look outside. There was a huge rainbow which made me think she was letting me know she was there and feeling better. Every night we sat on the porch and drank coffee while Ruby stared down bugs and slugs. It was her favorite thing to do! A couple of nights ago we were sitting outside like always and this baby bunny literally ran up the porch steps onto the porch where we were sitting. That has never happened! I may be going crazy, but I was walking down our hallway and something caught my eye near the dining room table. It was as if something ran past real quick. Ruby always rested near the dining room table on our rug. Knowing some of this has happened, I feel like she is still with me watching over me everyday. When I am alone I still talk to her and I have decided to buy a journal and write in it daily from the day she passed sharing my daily activities and expressing my feelings toward her. I think it will help. Yesterday we received a letter from the Veterinary Cancer Society informing us that Ruby's oncologist, Dr. Kevin Choy, of Seattle Veterinary Specialists made a generous donation honoring Ruby. To express their appreciation, VCS is honoring Ruby on their online Pet Memorial page. In addition to this wonderful gesture, Dr. Choy and his staff sent me a darling children's book entitled "Dog Heaven." Both Dr.Choy and her cardiologist and their entire staff wrote sweet and comforting notes on each page of the book. I will never regret my decision to pursue Ruby's specialists. Dr. Choy was the kindest vet I have ever met. He called me nightly when Ruby was failing to see how I was holding up. I needed reassurance and understanding of all her health issues and sent thousands of emails to him and made multiple phone calls. Not once did he overlook to respond and each message was clear and tender. I am ever so grateful for his knowledge, kindness, and love for Ruby. Our hearts are still aching but this sort of stuff seems to ease our pain. ❤️ How are you holding up? I hope you have been able to find a little peace. I believe it will take time for both of us to move on, but that is okay. Unfortunately my husband doesn't like to talk about her or what happened, so I haven't been able to share my thoughts with him. I think my family believes I have lost my mind, but I need to grieve, I need to cry, and it is okay if I miss her terribly. This has been harder than losing any relative. I believe it is the bond we had and the unconditional love. Hugs to you!
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