Taika

Hi Martha, I am sorry. Feel how you feel and don't let anyone try to tell you different. This is something that you cannot rush, cannot fake and cannot push back down. My mom died in August and my dad 7 months earlier. It is sad, it is draining and it will get better. I know what you are saying about wanting to clean out your house for your boys. I had the thought to make my kids not love me later on so they wouldnt miss me so much when I died. It just hurts so much to miss someone you love. Take care, rest up and get strong again, you are in my prayers Taika

Hi Michelle, I lost my dad in December and my mom in August. I know how you feel. My mom still lived on her own and was very sad most of the time. I was sad too and couldnt or wouldnt for whatever reason go to that place with my mom and just cry. I think now that if I would have helped her through her grief she would still be here, but I was so sad too. It's weird when you lose both parents, some days I am not sure who I am crying about. I think that we never know when feeling of grief are going to pop up. I have been so much better since joining this site. I cannot tell you how good it feels to talk to people who know how you feel. It will get better.

Hi Chrystal, I am sorry for your loss. In the first few weeks after my dad died I would wake up and just start crying. Every morning I would wake up and think how am I, and then the tears would come. When I went back to work it was very hard because everyone means well and wants to say something. But I found out that unless they had lost a parent they had no idea what it is like. So I kept going and it was getting easier and it is almost 1 year later (he died in December), and then my mom suddenly passed away in August. So I start again sometimes wondering if my grief is for my dad or for my mom or visa versa. Now that I really put it down on paper I have been sad and missing him for the entire 11 months, and working to sort through all my emotions. Anyway back to you, What a blessing that you were there for your dad and he knew you were there and could feel your love. Just feel how you feel and be with it.Hang in there, I know how special a father's love is and like you said you can remember so many things, cherish the memories, he can live on through your stories. Feel so you can heal.

Hi Bee, I think your feelings are right on. My dad passed away in December and my sister had a MardiGras party a few months later and when I saw the pictures there was one shot with my mom and a man. It was just someone at the party, no big deal. But to me I was a little angry that another man would have his arm around my mom. I was surprised at the feelings that came up. If my mom had lived on and met someone new, it would be very hard. Ultimately I would want her to find happiness again, and it isn't really about me anyway. It was her life. So hang in there it all works out the way its supposed to.

Hello to all you beautiful people. When I first posted and read all the messages I felt a comradery with each of you. You can't believe how great I felt reading that someone else felt the same way I did and I was not alone. So I took all the good energy and I was on my way. I didnt write to you any more and I didnt read the posts. I thought I was fine, healed... Silly huh! I went to lunch with an old friend and as we talked the tears came and came and I knew I am still not ok. So here I am again looking to get strong through your thoughts and words and prayers. To add to my world my brothers wife left him and took his 3 kids. Now my brother feels totally lost and alone. My mother for whatever reason never let him grow up and always fixed everything for him, now at 47 he wants me to fix everything for him. I dont really have the strength and he is a mess physically and emotionally. I don't know what to do, we have a spare room but I dont think that is the answer. Keep me in your thoughts.

I have felt all those things, but I know that everyone has their own journey to take and that is their stuff. My sister knew my father was dying and never came to see him because she did not like my mom. He died on her birthday. My mom was sick in the hospital and she came because I told her she only had a couple days to live, my sister did not believe it and came to see for herself. My mom died an hour later 5 minutes before my sister walked thru the door. I know the grief that I have and I cannot imagine what she is going through. I send her my prayers and love.

Thank you so much for each and every kind word. I cannot tell you how much better i feel just reading your posts. I really did feel like there was something wrong with me, and now I feel better and know that I will go through this process and not try to push my feeling back down. Thank you for being here, i am blessed to have you guys to listen to. thanks Karin

lori, I know exactly how you feel I was in my yoga class and all this anger welled up inside me, i felt like banging on the floor, but i didnt, i just cried. Know that all the tears that wash over you are taking a little bit of the grief away, wave by wave. You are in my prayers Karin

thank you for your kind words, I am sorry for you too. It's weird that you cant go see them them or hold them or smell them. I really miss them alot.

Linda I am sorry for your loss. I lost my parents 7 months apart.At that level I know how you feel. Your husband would want you to go on and live on. I know my parents want me to be strong because I am. So take it easy, maybe try a yoga class, it is great for balancing mind, body and spirit. Taika

Shell, thanks for responding. I will share the info with my husband. He does want to help. It is hard to explain feeling alone even though I am not alone. thank you again. Taika

Hi, I am 45 years old married to a wonderful man, I have 2 kids 22 and 20. My father passed away December 30th and my mom passed away August 5. I was dealing with my dad dying and then my mom died too. Nobody I know has lost a parent yet, so after the first week they wanted me to be back to my old happy self. I am trying and most days are ok, but sometimes I see people who look like my mom or dad. And I am sad. My husband says he doesnt know what to do to help. My sadness is so deep inside and it comes up in waves... It is nice that I can write my thoughts out. thanks for listening

Hi, My dad died December 30th and he too was my hero. He believed in me loved me sooo much! I was angry that he died and could not grieve with my mom because i was so sad, i dont know i just couldnt go to that place with her. My parents were married for 50 years and she loved him too. My mom suddenly passed away in August, the doctor said she died of congestive heart failure, really a broken heart. If I had gone to that place of sadness with my mother maybe she would still be here, i dont know... But I do know that I miss her terribly and wish I had been more compassionate to her after my dad passed away. As much as I was hurting over my dad dying I now know that my mom was hurting 100 times more. I am sorry mom.