Hi, I'm new here. I am not doing very well and hope to find some relief here. I let my 15 year old Siberian husky go yesterday morning. His name was Salem. We did this at home with a Lap of Love vet. She was really compassionate. I just have an overwhelming feeling of guilt-for killing my beloved baby who trusted me and gave me so much love, and then I have guilt for letting him suffer so that I could hold on to him. It was getting harder and harder for him to get up without my help, he had no control of bodily functions, and I spent quite a few nights in the last month up with him all night because he was crying. I would just give him the pain meds from the vet and lie down next to him and rub his head all night. I fell and hurt myself about 4 times in the past month trying to make sure that he didn't fall. Friday morning his back legs just did not work at all. I knew that it was time. When the vet showed up she took one look at him and told me that he's ready. Our family was there and I held his head in my lap. What is really getting to me is him taking his last breath and I realized that couldn't change my mind-he was gone. I am just crying and I don't want to be home. My house is just so empty. I made myself go somewhere for the day. When I came home tonight I started feeling so sad all over again. Can anyone tell me how long this is going to last? I just miss him so bad and want to rub his head and love in him.
