Compassion

You seem to be doing such a good job navigating the loss of your husband. You are aware of your needs and the needs of your children. How truly amazing you are. I have not lost a spouse, but I have been a young adult who lost a parent suddenly. I went to counseling on my college campus and I began to spend more time at church. Knowing that there is a God who loves me and would take care of me, helped me a great deal. My brother had the hardest time because he was trying to figure out how he would fill my father’s shoes. No one expected him to do that, but he placed a huge burden on his shoulders that tried to overwhelm him. I don’t know what your son is thinking or feeling. Have you considered asking the counselor about any stated concerns that your son has expressed and the counselor’s plan for helping him to navigate those concerns in a healthy way? I definitely think that you should pay attention to your maternal instinct. If you feel that he is not handling this well, you should definitely speak up. What do you think about speaking to a different counselor about your concerns? Grieving is different for every person. I know that there are stages of grief. However, you know your children and yourself better than the counselor. If something doesn’t feel right, I think it is always right to go after another opinion and additional help. For our family, we were strengthened by talking to each other, going to church, and building/creating new family traditions. As a family, we had to find our new normal. Your children are so fortunate to have such a balanced and clear mother. Keep taking care of yourself. I know that this is all going to begin to hurt less and that you will all be able to remember and to talk about all the good time that you have shared and that you will share together in the future. In my opinion, mapping out a future is very important to keep everyone connected and balanced.