Celeste

MartyT thank you for the physical reactions to grief article. I keep waiting for the day when I am refreshed and rejuvenated and it hasn't arrived yet.

Mom passed 11months back. I was okay a few months back. Now I am not. I have trouble sleeping from lower back pain and when I finally do fall asleep the alarm goes off. I am in a chronic state of fatigue and tiredness. Used to be a multitasker....not now. For the last few years I was a non stop doer. All I want to do is lay down. Never feel refreshed upon waking. What is up with this???????????????????????

Sorry about your dad.....I did read the link on the "Physical Reactions To Grief". I have had them and still have some of them.....I am coming up on the Year Anniversary of my Mom passing and I am feeling uneasy. I guess what bothers me and maybe you too is whether or not I am normal and are these normal responses....I look at others and think wow they all seem happy, joyous and free. How come I don't feel that way? I hope healing and contentment arrives for all of us:) Hugs

I have always had a fear of my emotions. They are rather overwhelming and it turns into anxiety and sometimes it turned into depression. I was terrified I would become depressed after mom passed but it did not happen. Thank goodness....I am having anxiety again. I cannot seem to break thru the fear and maybe have suppressed grief. How do you stop being afraid??????????????? Hugs

Thank you so much for contacting me. I guess I wanted the grief and the yucky feelings to end already. The last year has been up and down. I am starting to socialize a bit more with friends who love me. Trying to stay rooted in gratitude...... How does everyone deal with the emotions without becoming scared by them? Hugs

Hi I am Celeste......my mother passed in September 21, 2016. I was care giver and then Hospice stepped in. She died in home and basically it was old age (92). For the last four years before her death I was dealing with my daughter's drug addiction coupled with care giving & working. The good news is my daughter has been clean for about 18 months and was in treatment for close to 15 months. Thank God. I have my daughter back. After my mother passed, I crashed. I went to work, but I could not get off the sofa when I came home from work and on the weekends. When my daughter's treatment was finished, I was filled with a fear of relapse. I was finally able to let that go. She has her own apartment and works at a large treatment center. When mom passed I felt relieved. Then the crying started. She was a handful but she was my rock. I think I was okay for quite a few months. Not now. I have always been afraid of my emotions. They scare me and remind me of times when I had depression and anxiety. Two weeks back my brother had bypass surgery and valve replacement surgery. I was gripped by a primal fear "Oh God please don't let him die". He is fine. Anxiety is back (not bad) I learned how to stop it using the Techniques outlined in DARE (book). In the last year I lost motivation ~ not wanting to talk on phone ~ go out and socialize ~ not wanting to work ~ I engaged in eating alot of ice cream (I go to OA for that) ~ On Friday & Saturday night's I started drinking wine. I do not drink any other time and do no crave it......I think I am looking to zone out after a full week of work and probably grief. After Mom passed and my daughter got out of treatment she did not come home. She has her own apartment. Empty nest? I do attend an Al-Anon Grief meeting weekly + my regular al-Anon meetings...... I have fear again which can translate into depression and anxiety and I do not want to go there...... Any advise welcome