My boyfriend of 6 years lost his mom 5 months ago. It was sudden and unexpected, and very tragic. They did not have a healthy relationship. She suffered from bipolar disorder and they would often fight and swear at each other. Throughout the past 6 years, I have tried to build a relationship with her and have been nothing but gracious and caring, even when it was more than difficult to be. My boyfriend used to say, "Don't feel bad. She doesn't get along with anyone".
When I received the news of her passing, I stood by his side and told him that I will be there however he needed me to be. Whether he wants to talk, cry, or just sit there in silence. I often felt like I was bothering him and that his grieving was very personal, so I often gave him space when he would have bad days.
He told me a week ago that because his mom and I didn't get along, he has had resentment towards me since her death and that he didn't have a connection with me. His mother was horrible to me, and I tried to get along with her. I am completely lost. I have heard about stories where relationships will suffer after a death, and I told myself that no matter what I would stick it out. I have consulted with my close friends and they all think I should give him space and move out. When I mentioned to him that I was looking for a place to move to, he was quiet and sad and asked if we could work through it by sleeping in separate rooms. He is seeing a therapist for the first time this week. I don't know what to do. Any advice is very much appreciated.
-Amanda
