lostboyinphilly

Enna, thanks for your kind words. As it happens, we have one of our big holidays coming up this week (Rosh Hashana). There will be lots of cousins and uncles and aunts coming to spend time with us and share meals with us as well. I have been cooking and baking for weeks. My relief is going to work LOL. As we get closer to this wednesday night, I feel like yet again, I am sinking emotionally. All of the recipes that I have prepared are family heirloom style ones passed down to me from my mom. This wasn't a conscious decision, its just what we like to eat around our holidays. My spouse and I (if history holds true) will in the next few weeks have a big argument and then like in the past, it will dawn on both of us that this is sadness. The understanding is that this is taking too long. Ive never met anyone (real life or online) that gets so upset about this loss so many years later. Anyway, thanks for writing back.

My mom died in 2009 and I'm still having a really tough time with it. She had cancer and honestly, when she passed, i kind of fell apart. Im better now, I have a great job, a great family etc. But the pain is still there. Getting through the year is torture sometimes. So many holidays and events that all come back to who is missing, who wont see this achievement etc. I now grief takes all sorts of forms, I'm just so sick of being sad so frequently..