Hi sydneem, I relate a lot to your feelings and also feeling as though no one understands the emotions running rampant in your mind. What struck me most about your story (it actually led me to create an account JUST to leave this comment) was when you said you wished people would ask about your SO, share memories-just something to hear his name said aloud. Everyday I wish the same about mine. I do not know how strange this would be, but if you want to contact each other outside of this website, I would love to listen to your guys' story. I understand what it feels like and truly wanting just to tell your story. I would love to lend a listening ear if you want. It gets more bearable with time, though not 'easier', I promise.