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TONY

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Everything posted by TONY

  1. It has been 6 months and I am trying everything group grief counseling, church , dating ,excersise and nothing stops the hurt .If I stop to think of him I cry . I miss him sooooooo much he was my best friend and my person who never judged me and loved me unconditionally. This is the hardest thing to not have him here . Iā€™m having a really hard time today maybe so I thought I would write . Iā€™m not sure if Iā€™m even using this site correctly? Sad šŸ˜ž
  2. This is so hard to face the first Valentineā€™s Day without my Jordan instead of getting ready for dinner. We always had dinner on the 13th because restaurants are always less crowded. I got rid of some of his things it was so hard not to just put them all back . He would show up with roses and chocolate and a cute card . Here I am in bed at 5 pm sad and missing him . This is so so hard . I am fine one minute and a mess the next . Sometimes I just donā€™t think I can go on without him . But I know I have to . There are people who need me and count on me . He always said if he lost me he would be bereft. Well I guess thatā€™s what I am now bereft šŸ™
  3. My assignment for group next week is to bring in a photo that best represents my beloved Jordan. I can barely look at his photo without feeling depressed and missing what we had . I donā€™t know how Iā€™m going to get through that meeting. Also I am the youngest one in the group every one is so much older and Iā€™m 52 . Should I not go ? Iā€™m so torn because everyone was so much older I felt like an intruder in a room full of grandparents and people that were married so long . Please advise? Any ideas?
  4. Iā€™m sorry I know just how you feel.There was just so much more living to do and dreams to make reality. My thoughts go out to you .
  5. Going to join a grief support group but I am so nervous. Iā€™m not an outgoing person and donā€™t have many friends so Iā€™m hoping it will help or at least get me out of my apartment. I know it canā€™t hurt .I donā€™t know how it will help but Iā€™m going to try . Who knows .
  6. Well I made it through the holidays but it was not easy . Today is exactly 5 months to the day that I lost my Jordan.I still canā€™t believe he is gone and my memories of him are so clear and itā€™s still hurting he was my best friend and so perfect for me I will never have that again. No matter what I did or said He would always say I was his angel and beautiful no matter how I looked or felt . He would show up with roses just because he thought I needed roses . We had so much in common and no matter what we were both talking about the other understood. I hope and pray there is another life after death .I miss him and hope when my time comes I will see his kind smile and handsome face there to greet me. I know time will heal me but right now I just donā€™t feel it šŸ™
  7. Just so sad today . I miss my jordan so much . He was my everything. My best friend and my partner. I miss him so much I donā€™t even want to get out of bed . Iā€™m trying my best but I canā€™t see my future without him. I know holidays will be hard so Iā€™m hoping it will pass .
  8. I know how you feel and I am so sorry šŸ˜šŸ™ IT really is so hard
  9. I agree people that act as if they know you or relationship should just back off . It is hurtful it has happened to me with Facebook as well . So I can totally relate. Like who the heck are you people. This is such a hurtful thing to have strangers comment on such a personal thing
  10. Iā€™m sorry for your loss also . THank you I can use the prayers.
  11. My husband of 6 years just died of cancer and sometimes when I think back at those last days . I am so heartbroken that I could have done more. Even though I took him to every doctor appointment and loved him . I feel like I failed and miss him so much .He was my best friend and would light up a room when he stepped in. I carry his ashes around if I go away I canā€™t bare to leave him alone . I know itā€™s crazy but I do it anyway . I talk to him when I walk into my empty apartment and before I go to bed . In the hopes that if there is another side after death he will hear me tell him I love and miss him
  12. I just read this and it gave me comfort knowing that I am not the only person carrying around their loved ones ashes . It has been a month now that I lost my beloved Jordan and I donā€™t like to leave the ashes alone when I go visit my sister I take them with me .He is in a beautiful wooden inlaid box like a jewelry box . I put his picture and some of his jewelry in it . I miss him so much a piece of my heart died along with him. Tony
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