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Quiksand

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  1. Thank you, Marty. This is exactly what I'm going through, albeit much sooner than 6 months. I believe I started having these dreams as soon as 1 month into the loss. I'll try and see if I could attempt to practice the techniques described in your article. Even thought I try to not think about what happened as much as I can... sooner or later I'll have to consciously accept it.
  2. First and foremost I'd like to thank this website and the beautiful people here for this sacred work that you do: giving people who lost someone a hope for a better tomorrow. You helped me not lose myself after the loss of my mother, and I would probably be much worse if not for the words of kindness and advice that I've received here. Life is still dull and confusing, I haven't wrapped my heart around the loss and I'm still fighting the battle, but I'll get there. This being said... I've been having these recurring nightmares, almost every day. Seeing as I try to push away the memories and
  3. Here is also another wonderful article worth reading. This author nails it. http://www.timjlawrence.com/blog/2016/1/24/grieving-people-arent-stupid
  4. @kayc Thank you for your reply. I absolutely agree with you. Lately, people seem to shun away from anything they deem "negative", and more and more people seem to be absolutely unable to handle any non-superficial emotions, even if it means offending and hurting another person. I'm just afraid that standing up to most of those people might be pointless, since you can't guilt those without a conscience or heart. So yea, sticking together seems to be the best course of action. @kvolm Thank you, Kvolm. I can't truly understand why I'm being treated that way either. Luckily, I do have a few suppo
  5. That is the impression I've been getting from people of various ages and statuses, based on observations made of people currently in my life. Not a week had passed since my mother was gone after a long and torturous illness, where most people were already showing signs of wanting me to move on with life. Or more like to stop pestering them with the notion alone that I'd lost someone. Their behaviour towards me in the following weeks emphasized that attitude greatly. They do not consider at all how I am exhausted after the fight, how I am now living alone in a house full of memories, how
  6. The psychotherapist failed me. I'm so full of bitterness and disappointment. It started off well, he let me talk and tried to give guidelines, but then he began to repeat how he's professional, and how his services are expensive for a reason, and how I need to go to him a lot cause lots of work needs to be done and he's such a professional, and how he was doing me a favour working on a holiday, despite making it clear yesterday that he was absolutely fine with helping me out on a holiday, and how his services are expensive cause they're professional again, all that several times, like a broken
  7. Knowing that I'm understood and people can relate to me helps stay afloat, so once again I thank you all for sharing your stories and easing my pain. I really wish I could reply to each of you personally, but I feel like I still lack the mental capacity to do so. Even writing this post took some collecting myself... It's been a month now. No one called me to check on me. I wanted to visit her grave, but couldn't get myself to do it. Besides, the cemetery is fairly far away and I don't have a car, public transportation is difficult to reach it, and no one offers to drive me. "Ask us if you
  8. Happy new year to all of you. Thank you for the kind advice, mathilde and kayc. I've had a few strong conversations with a few people and they got upset with me and decided to just stop asking, which, I guess, is better than asking the wrong questions. Kayc, the list you sent seems so... right. Most of these things are exactly what I need, and what I don't get... I'm starting to become afraid that as time passes and the... passing of my mother is left more and more in the past, people around me will stop taking it and me so seriously. I mean, barely a month passed, and I already feel uncomfort
  9. Thank you all so much for the kind words. The past days have been a bit hazy, so I wasn't in a condition to reply. I will look into all your advices. Maybe I will visit a counsellor after the new year. One of my biggest problems now is how my relatives borderline guilt trip me for having spent a month at home without "achieving" anything. One of them keeps repeating how he's upset that I haven't gone back to the university right after my mother passed away, another one insists I should've gotten a job, and just in general they keep pestering me about doing something productive. Not in an
  10. I can't count how many attempts I took at writing down whatever's going on in my storming head. Even now I'm not certain at what I'm going to say. What's even the point. It's not going to get better anyway. Just duller. I'm 25, guy. Two weeks ago my mother passed away. After a one year long battle against pancreatic cancer. Diagnosed it at stage 4 when I was abroad trying to make a living. I left everything and came back to be by her side throughout the treatment, while other relatives helped during the surgery. Everything was in vain. My life is empty and pointless. (There was wh
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