Missing you so much

Thanks again for the advice and love. I'll read some more of marty's blog. I know that with time the pain lessens, because unfortunately this isn't the first time I've experience grief. It's just the getting to there that I'm finding hard. Mostly I just feel very lonely now. I have lots of friends, and family that love me, but it's not the same without my partner. Whenever one of us would feel stressed we would give each other a hug. Sometimes we'd just stand there for 5 minutes hugging each other. It felt so nice and comforting. That no matter what was going on in our lives or even if we felt stressed with each other, we'd just give each other a hug and all that would dissolve away. I hug other people but it isn't the same. Do pets help with this feeling? Anything else? My cat is coming back to live with me and I'm hoping that his company will help.

Hey guys, thank you so much for all the replies. It's unfortunate that we meet each other under such terrible circumstances. Each and every person here has felt a horrible loss that will never leave them. We've all had this special person in our lives that shared so many beautiful memories. They became a part of us. It feels a little better knowing that other people understand the pain I feel. Though also sad. I hate the fact that anyone has to feel this way. I read all your posts about your lives and it fills me with so much sadness that people you love were taken. Also, @kayc, the tips on how to handle grief are very helpful. Every little piece of advice and support helps. You're all wonderful people, talk soon. <3

About 6 weeks ago my partner/best friend who had been suffering severe mental health issues took his own life. Christmas was really hard without him and new years is harder. He loved going out to the city and dancing. Now he isn't here and I just feel so lost. Whatever I do for new years just feels so empty without him. Then it will be next year, a whole new year where he doesn't exist. I want to start a fresh and do things a new for the next year but I just don't feel like any of it matters. I smile, and laugh with others but when I'm alone I feel the full weight that he just isn't here anymore. I miss so much about him, but mostly I just wish I could give him one last hug and have a chance to say goodbye. Anyway, I guess I just wanted to talk to other people that understand what losing a partner feels like. Other people in my life just don't understand the devastating impact that this has on a person. Your whole world has been turned upside down and there's an emptiness that will never be filled.