Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Fírinne

Members
  • Posts

    4
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    husband
  • Date of Death
    12/13/17
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Waterville Hospice

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    Fairfield,ME

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. First I like to Thank Marg M & kayc for your words of encouragement. kayc the Tips to Make Your Way Through Grief was the one of the first thing I read here and was the reason I joined I found it to be very helpful I could go through each one and tell the truth in each but the Permission to Smile & Find Joy in the Day are the ones that are getting me motivated so Thank You. One of things I find I miss is the heated debates [ arguments ] we were the best at that neither able not to allow the other one to have the last word I mean we would debate on how wet water was or how stupid TV commercials are, I know this is due to loneliness but I sure do miss the fight the abled to let off some steam without the fear of distancing people Maggie knew the words were not said with malice and could hold her own.~PEACE
  2. Tony I'm in no place to give advice but know a marriage is about the love and not about the years, l'm 60 and was married 36yrs and feel that if I lost Maggie the day after we met my sense of lose would not have been any less then I feel now, your words of love and lose feel the same as mine friend your apprehension about a support groups is shared with me and I can not find the courage to even go to one so anything that I say on that should be taken with a grain of salt and you need to do what works for you I like the give it three times idea and as soon as I can find the strength I will go give it a try ~PEACE
  3. That was Maggie's way to describe us and no truer words were spoken. We tried to live our life with Peace Love an Understanding, but life had a different idea. I keep writing and deleting because every time I read what I wrote just comes across as poor pitiful me ! An that's not the way Maggie would have want, it was not unexpected I got to think about the end for yrs Maggie had end stage renal failure she played the game 11yrs the last two were hard she slept a lot she was losing her memory couldn't walk well do to other problems and the happy hippy was being taken by this disease so she decided to stop dialysis to be able to take some form of control back. To choose when and were she would pass and she pick to bring it to end it as near to 12/17 as posable (Maggie got her wings on 12/13/17) due to that is when we lost are son 20yrs ago and she knew I hated this time of year anyway. Now I know I'm supposed to be happy she is out of pain and enjoying the Great Concert in the Sky but some how I feel no joy I'm mad at her and that makes me feel like a bigger hypocrite because she and I knew that I wouldn't have done anything if the shoe was on the other foot by that I have never had plans to do anything to prolong my life. Maggie love life and I put up with it. Now I feel guilty for the freedom and the ability to do the things that we talked about. I can not find the happiness that came with the snow there is no beauty in the forest that we love so much, we got to spend so much time together that I feel guilty whining when so many are not give the chance to even say their last goodbyes I'm sorry for this selfish act and that is one of thing that Mag would have let me known about. I need to go think now this is not the end of this post for me but I came to a realization and it's time to ponder it. Thank you for the encouragement to write and open up give to me by people on here ~PEACE
  4. As l'm new here l have been riding the wave of all of your emotions, things that I have been feeling are tearing me apart I'm lost with out Maggie, there is no joy left and my fear of writing as Maggie help me through my life being that I'm lowly educated being a manual labor guy she carried me though this life and I just can't find any thing positive right now or think that I ever will but as I promised my daughter I would try to find someone to talk to but with my anxiety's it will be hard, not as hard as this writing is, as I'm opening myself up to ridicule for my grammar & spelling. I don't believe it will happen here but the fear is there. Well to the topic I'm looking for anything positive and the only thing I can come up with is if I did not have our pets I would have followed her. Dam I'm so pissed off I was supposed to go first for 36yrs that was the plan and now she left me in a cruel world by myself.You and others tell me I'll get pass this and move on but I can't see the light and don't even know if I want to
×
×
  • Create New...