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About Kate2

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    New Visitor

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  • Location (city, state)
    NJ, NJ

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
  1. My mom is dying today. Been on high doses of morphine but she is still not letting go. I was with her 24 hours and came home to try to sleep. My brother and sister are with her now. She was my best friend, and I, hers. I took care of her for many years now. But I feel tremendous guilt as this past year she has been in a nursing home. I would see her 3 or 4 times a week, but it wasn’t enough. She lost the will to go on. I feel so guilty I did not have her in my house. And I can’t bear being away from her right now while I try to sleep. I held her hand all night last night and kept telling her I loved her. My dad died 24 years ago. I feel so alone. She was the best woman in the world.
  2. Thank you @kayc for your kind words and encouragement. It is so helpful to know others are there who understand the grief.
  3. Hi Quiksand I am wondering how you are doing now. You have been through alot of stress being a caregiver and then went right to dealing with grief. I can relate to you. I have taken care of my mom for 5 years. She is my best friend. I have been so lonely watching her decline. As she lost alot of memories, short and long term, I watched my best friend/mom slip away. I have been grieving for 5 years now. My mom is actively dying now. It may be a day or a week. It is so hard to know that I will be all alone. Not only have I lost my best friend, but will lose my purpose in life, as her caregiver. I would give anything to have another year of changing her diapers and feeding her. I miss her so much already. I hope you are doing OK. And I understand your grief and loneliness. My life as a caregiver, excluded me from having any friends or social life. I don’t know what I will do with myself now.