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About Lyla2

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
    Dec 2017
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:

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  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
    Austin, TX
  1. To update everyone on this thread, he and I did decide to get back together about a month ago (his idea). No contact is 100% the way to go, for anyone out there who is going through a similar situation. There are still ups and downs, and days where he wants to be alone. There are days when he takes his anger out on me (verbally) and even some days when I wonder if we will ever be "solid" again. There are also some days, however, when I see him smiling again, laughing, and joking. Actually being himself. Things I haven't seen since his mom died. Those are the days that make me realize that it's worth it. Being there for him and being patient with him when he gets down is not easy. It's very very hard actually. But when we got back together he told me about his feelings and the reasons behind his actions and I had no choice but to forgive him, since I have never been in his lostion before and cannot imagine his pain. He asked me desperately to stick with him for a while while he gets through this, and to not give up on him. So that's what I'm doing. And for now it is enough for us both and we are both happier together than we were apart. Thank you to everyone on this forum for your advice!
  2. Thank you Rae. I have decided to stay off social media for a while and not contact him. I'm going to try my best to focus on myself for now. I miss him SO much, so much it hurts. But I have accepted that if there is a chance that we will ever again be together, I have to leave him alone right now. The hard thing is, I actually don't have any friends in the area and I commute to school. I have applied for a job to try to stay busy, because I find myself coming home from classes and just crying for hours. Which I know is not helping me. But I greatly appreciate all of the advice I've been given on here, it's helped a lot.
  3. Thank you Marty. It is comforting to know that this is a somewhat common thing; that I am not the only one who has gone through this. However it is less comforting to find out how rare it is that the couple gets back together! I know that his feelings for me are strong and genuine and I know that they could not have gone away, but are rather just suppressed right now. I can't imagine the pain he is going through right now. This site has been helpful, because my friends mostly respond with "he's an asshole you need to move on" or "forget about him you don't deserve that". Of course I know I don't deserve this, but he didn't deserve to lose his mother. My friends (and myself) can't pretend to understand the pain he's in or what he is going through inside right now. But I feel so completely empty without him! He's been basically everything to me for 5 years, and now I don't even know how is he doing. I feel very strongly that we are meant to be together so if/when he is ever ready for a relationship again, I hope he comes to me. I just wish he could see what he is doing- because right now his mom is the only thing he thinks about. i have a text from him from a few months ago after a little fight we had that reads "there is absolutely nothing in this world worth losing you for. I will do whatever it takes to be with you forever" and now to this? It just completely baffles me.
  4. Thank you. I'm so very sorry you went through it as well. It's just so hard because myself and his mom are all he really had, he isn't super close with anyone else. So now he is totally alone, while I still have my mom to comfort me when I'm sad. So maybe that fact causes envy in him? I don't know. But he is so young and losing a parent when you're 18 has to be the worst thing that could happen. Especially since she was his everything. What really hurts is seeing his siblings lean on their significant others instead of driving them away. I'm the only one that got "kicked out" of the family. And I feel that I am a part of the family since I've been there for so long. His mom loved me and loved the two of us together. And she told him many months ago that his happiness was the most important thing to her. And she told me to make it my mission to keep making him happy. So I feel as though I'm letting her down by letting him wallow in his misery and push me away. But I also feel there's nothing more I can do? He said he wants to be alone forever, and he told me time and time again that he doesn't want a relationship ever again. But the situation is still so fresh- it's only been a couple months. So I will give him some time, but I worry that he will not get better if he is all alone and not trying to help himself. I don't know. The thought of me ending up with anyone but him makes me feel sick. I know I'm young but I've been certain for many years that I had already found my soulmate. And he said the same thing. I suppose I will not contact him for a while and wait to see if he will contact me. In the very least, I hope someday he will apologize for the cruel things he has said to me. I won't expect it but I will hope. Because I know he would not want to end a beautiful relationship is such a harsh way.
  5. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through in my life. So, I have been dating the same guy since we were 13 year old. We dated all throughout highschool and we were madly in love. We did everything together. We had what some people only dream of finding some day. We were best friends and were absolutely perfect for each other. We became a part of each other's families- spending holidays together and trips and what not. I can't even describe the kind of love we had, it was so solid and incredible and we were both so happy and excited for our future together. Neither of us doubted for a second that we would end up together forever. We are now both in college at two different places, but we both agreed to stay together through it because we just couldn't live without each other. Like I said, we are best friends. But a few months ago, his mom died of cancer and he was SUPER close to her, and I was pretty close to her as well. For a little while, he leaned on me. He expressed his sadness, wanted to be with me all the time. Even before she died, he wanted me to go to the hospital with him to see her. I felt so awful for him and did everything I could to be there for him. I gave him all of my love, I was patient when he got angry, I was understanding when he didn't feel like talking. I really did everything I could. But he slowly started to withdraw from me. Just me- not his family or friends or anyone else. He was on and off for a few weeks about wanting to be with me. One day, he would tell me he needs and wants to be with me forever, and the next day he would spit awful mean things at me for no reason at all. Until he eventually became extremely cold toward me and every time we talked he was terrible to me and said everything he could to hurt me.I couldn't understand it at all because he had always been an absolute sweetheart to me, never saying a mean word about me. He finally said he no longer wants to be with me at all, he said he wants to be alone forever. He doesn't want to marry me or anyone at all and he never wants to have children. Getting married and having kids was always something we were both so excited to do together some day. He told me when he broke up with me that he just doesn't care about me at all and doesn't think about me anymore. He deleted all of our pictures together and hasn't talked to me in about 2 weeks. My heart is so broken. I have only ever been with him and our 5 year anniversary is coming up. I have no idea what to do because he is truly my best friend and I only have a few other not-super-close friends. So I feel totally alone. We were SO happy and perfect together. He was so in love with me and told me every day how amazing I was and how much he adored me. Now it feels like he hates me. And there's no way I can't talk to him because we are several hours apart. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? If I give him time to cope and grieve do you think he will come back? or are his feelings permanently changed? I have tried so hard to be everything for him but he just doesn't want anything to do with me. It hurts so badly. Any input would be appreciated.
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