Hi Blue Captain,
I love the advice of kayc and MartyT, and like them I am relieved by your maturity in this difficult situation. It is good that you are a Christian, I hope that you do not ever neglect your faith because it will help you and your brother with this situation. I can tell from your words that you are very polite and probably has some sort of good education and modeling as far as behavior is concerned.
Although the adults you mentioned are quite right that you are financially and physically provided for that is never enough. Nevertheless, thank God for these blessings because it could have been worse. The advice given so far are excellent, in my opinion. So I would like to share my opinion on two things not covered.
First of all, I just want to tell you that some youth pastors can be a nightmare. Some youth pastors romantically imagine serving God because it seems cool but have not taken the time to find out if it really suits them and further down the road, eventually lead young people astray. I know several sad stories among them my nephew who just lost his mother and the youth pastor instigated a cruel prank on him. I just want to impress on you that when you go to college, check up on your brother once in a while, which you already mentioned.
The other thing is finding God’s will. While there is no formula, sometimes Scriptures speak to you directly, sometimes through the advice of mature Christians and sometimes you just become more aware of certain things, like when your eyes are drawn to a red car and suddenly you start noticing red cars more than cars of other colors. I read a booklet from Charles Swindoll called Knowing God’s Will. I checked his website and they might have expanded it because the title is a bit different. I got the link for you here https://store.insight.org/p-1286-finding-and-following-gods-will.aspx. I assume that you have some means to get this.
Finally, would it be okay to pray for you, your brother and most of all your dad? I just so burdened by your story when I saw it that I felt the need to join this forum. I am also a Christian who has gone through a bit. So, I want to help others if I can. Thank you for this opportunity.