Cindygirl

That is so true. That’s the hardest part. 💔Thank you so much MartyT and kayc!

Well here I am again almost a year to losing our Cindy and we have lost another precious girl named Bobinthia. I know it’s a silly name lol, long story. She was a mini daschund and she was 16 years old. Sunday April 1st she was totally fine and Monday morning was having a hard time breathing. With exrays and blood work we were told she had pneumonia. We had taken her to the vet every day last week except Tuesday. On Friday we finally did an ultrasound because she was just not getting better. When it was pointed out on the screen we could see a huge tumor on her heart. We took her home for one last night and she passed on her own at 2:17 am. This grieving process is so hard. I can’t believe I’m doing this again. It hurts just as much but in different ways. 😥

That’s so true that there will never be other like any of them!

I can’t believe today is 6 months since we lost Cindy. I can’t believe we’ve gone that many days without her. Some days it feels like I haven’t seen her in forever. Other days it feels like yesterday. It’s been easier since she first passed but we have our moments or days. We love and miss you “my Cindy girl” ❤️

Thank you Martyt and kayc. I have read that article along with some others that was mentioned on that page. That really helps. I now feel like everything I am feeling is normal. Hard to believe in 5 days it will be a month since Cindy has been gone. I've been working at holding onto her memory with love and not the grief. ❤️

It feels like everything is a trigger. Some moments feel ok then others it feels like we just lost her. Then I sometimes feel guilty when I am feeling ok. Have you felt that way? I don't know how to explain it.

I'm doing better than I was. It feels like it's been a lifetime but it will be 3 weeks tomorrow that Cindy has been gone. I still find myself looking to see what she's doing. Or I think I hear her. Even with the other dogs I could tell her toes tapping on the floor compared to the others . My husband could never figure out how I knew lol. Awe yea it's hard to break away from a routine. Especially ones where we gave them love.

Cindy slept with our daughter but I would give her medicine in the morning and evening. My hard times are morning and evening. And I also took her to work with me. That's still a hard thing to get used to. I feel the same about wishing we had went to another vet. But I have to realize that we did the best we could. And the outcome most likely would have been the same. Im so sorry you are going thru this. I hate it. But it does help me talking with others. I hope your having a good day today.

Connie w I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious Chewy. My heart hurts for you. Try not to be so hard on yourself with your decision. You just didn't want him to hurt. Now that things are starting to clear up a little in my mind I know the right decision was made for our Cindy. But I do still question about if I would have taken her somewhere else to see what they thought. I really wish I would have. But deep down I know there was nothing that could be done. I feel like we question everything we did or what we could have done because we just want them with us. It just hurts so much when they are gone. I will always miss and love her just like you will your Chewy. What I hold onto is I know one day I will see her again. Since I can't change anything I have been trying to just think of the happy memories. That doesn't mean I don't have bad moments or bad days. It's a hard thing to go through. Maybe that would help you to focus on happy memories.

After re reading my last post I should clarify it wasn't my husband that said the comment about being just a dog. He has been trying his best to help me. I can't even imagine everything you were feeling kayc. Yes grief is very hard. I felt like we were the only ones going thru this until I've been on here. I wish 10 years ago when we lost our do is there were these resources. Thank you for the articles MartyT. The article why does it hurt so much makes perfect sense.

My husband points out to me that our other babies are trying to get my attention. It makes me feel bad. But I'm just trying to do what I can do. And it doesn't help when someone says you should be over that by now. It was just a dog. I was so shocked I didn't even have the words to say anything. It's only been 10 days but allready feels like forever. I'm so sorry that your Tigger left. That would be so hard too. My heart breaks for you that's a lot to go thru.

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your husband Kayc. It does effect our animals. I'm trying to give our others attention they need. But like you said it's just hard to think or focus.

Thank you MartyT. When I do read these articles it does help. I feel like what I'm feeling is the same feelings that others are having also. I feel the guilt of maybe something we didn't do would have worked, the guilt of I should have spent more time with her. The guilt of at the time of my grandmas death I was moarnng my grandma and I might not have gave her all the attention she needed. So many random things I think that maybe I should have done. Yesterday was the one week mark of when we had to let Cindy go. So it was a rough day. I feel like night time is the hardest. I'm not sure if it's because it was the time we were all together and now she's not here. Or if night time is just harder in general. It's hard to go to sleep and then wake up and for a brief moment everything is good and it all comes rushing back. For the last two months I would take Cindy to work with me when someone wasn't home so I could make sure she was ok. And I hope for the most part she was ok. She was sick but not in pain. We did get days where she was feeling better she would bark and run a little like she used to. I cherish those moments. I would use potty pads for her because she had a hard time getting outside. One day she felt good and wanted outside. I took her out she pottied, looked around, smelled the air. She came in and went to her water dish to drink and fell over having a sezuire. The vet said stresses triggered them. I feel bad that she was feeling good and wanted out so I let her and the cold air triggered a sezuire. We just miss the healthy happy Cindy. I know where she's at and we will be together again. It just hurts

Thank you Enna and kayc for your kind words. We do love her very much and always will. I knew when this time came it would be hard. I just didn't know it would be this hard.

On Tuesday April 17, 2018 we lost our precious 16 year old chihuahua. She was adopted at the age of 3 by my grandparents. My grandpa died a few years later and my grandma died 3 years ago. She then came to live with us. I think she grieved the whole time for grandma but she adjusted well and took to our daughter. They did everything together and slept most of the day waiting for her to come home. That's when her day began. A year after having Cindy come to live with us she was diagnosed with congenitvie heart failure but took her meds and did well. In February of 2018 she started having sezuires and was put on phenobarbital. That was the beginning of her health really going down. She just wasn't the same. We were told because of starting sezuires at a late age she probably had a brain tumor. I began morning for her and she wasn't even gone yet. This first week of April we had to do bloodwork to check her liver from the phenobarbital. That came back good but we were told her kidney levels were way above normal and we're shutting down. We were told we had about a month with her and it ended up only being two weeks. We have lost pets in the past and I have moarned for them but with Cindy this seems exceptionally hard. The day before she died she had stopped eating and we took her to the vet. They gave her a shot to settle her stomach and some oral medicine. I really hoped it would help. That night she really went downhill and by morning couldn't even get up. Our vet was in surgery all morning so we had to wait 3 hours to get in. It was so hard to watch her not be able to get up and potty on herself. And when she did poop it was full of blood. I gently cleaned her and changed her blanket each time. But she must have been so embarrassed. When we took her to the vet she started having a mild seizure. I thank god that she came out of it so we could say our goodbyes. I really hope she could hear us. We have other dogs and I just keep thinking if she wondered why was she getting sick. I just miss her so much and don't know how to make it stop hurting. I keep replaying everything over and over in my head. I know she lived a long life but I really do still miss her so very much. She was such a good girl.